Sunday, May 31, 2009

Exclusive Interview with the Moon

The moon talks about what drove her away from the earth, reveals her dark side, and why she never reads Dante.

Interviewed by Dale Beran


So how did you come to circle the earth?
Well, actually I broke apart from the earth 3.5 billion years ago when we were a single mingled mass, super-heated, but quickly cooling.

Oh, wow. So are you still on good terms with him?
[laughs] Well, that was a long time ago.

And the sun?
Yes, he was there too, years back. It was very strange. We were all living together, compressed into the head of a pin.

Was it better then?
You know it’s hard to say. We had no money. I sank into a deep despair. But there were good things. Sweating in that little apartment, the rest of the celestial bodies pushed against yours, young, waiting, for what? You had to go crazy. The fights we would have. The sun would catch my fists as I flung them at him. Nothing was ever in the refrigerator. How I burned then to be alone.

Everyone knows you have a dark side, but what's it like?
The sun is a powerful force. I'll be the first to admit that. But it's not like I'm hiding anything from him. It's just that the earth wants to see all of me, and I don't think that's what I want. So some things... some things remain obscure.

How often are you kissed by the stray asteroid?
It happens now and then, but not as often as people think. It's just that each one, over the eons, leaves an indelible mark. It's difficult to tell how many because when I regard my reflection, it is often broken into a million pieces in earth's troubled waters.

Yes, in desperate times, I've noticed.
Do you watch me?

I watch you change, sometimes, from my bedroom window. It's not something I'm ashamed of, but not something I mention to anyone.
It's ok.

Really?
Yes.

Wasn't that how the poet Li Po drowned?
How?

"And Li Po also died drunk
He tried to embrace a moon
In the yellow river."

I didn't know that.

Do you feel responsible for the death of poets?
Partly.

Do you think it was fair how Dante portrayed you, a sphere of imperfection, not quite in heaven, not quite as flawed as the earth?
People can write what they like. They are ephemera to me. I can only see the larger picture, longer than the brief pattern of their lives.

Do I have enough oxygen to reach home?
[laughs] Apparently not.

What should I do?
You should stay with me forever in the Mare Lacrimae.

Is there such a place?
It is a curved pool of silken silt.

[laughs] Thank you, moon! You've been a great interviewee!
My pleasure.



(via) There will be another one tomorrow.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Lonely Heroes - Jizz in My Pants

Lyrics are probably NSFW Show/Hide



There is another.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Schnappi

Ein Lama in Yokohama Show/Hide

video


"Ein Lama in Yokohama" is a 2005 song released by animated German crocodile, Schnappi. It was the second single from the debut album Schnappi und Seine Freunde and was released on April 25, 2005.

Texte und Übersetzung (Lyrics and Translation) Show/Hide


Ein Lama, ein Lama das fliegt nach Yokohama. (A llama, a llama, that flies to Yokohama)
Es freut sich schon auf Reis und Fisch (it’s already looking forward to rice and fish)
und sucht die Gabel auf dem Tisch. (and searches for the fork on the table) 1*
Ein Lama, ein Lama das fliegt nach Yokohama. (A llama, a llama, that flies to Yokohama)
Es freut sich schon auf Reis und Fisch (it’s already looking forward to rice and fish)
und sucht die Gabel auf dem Tisch. (and searches for the fork on the table)
Wo ist die Gabel? (Where is the fork?)

Hallo hallo du Lama in Yoko Yokohama (Hello, Hello you llama, in Yoko, yokohama)
schnapp dir einfach Reis und Fisch (just get yourself rice and fish) 2*
mit den Stäbchen auf dem Tisch. (with the chopsticks on the table) 3*, 4*
Steck alles in den Schnabel, (put everything in your mouth/beak)
es geht auch ohne Gabel. (it works without a fork as well) 5*
Nur Mut, nur Mut (only courage, only courage)
das klappt doch schon ganz gut. (It’s already working pretty good) 6*

Das Lama, das Lama, das schimpft in Yokohama. (The llama, the llama, the rants in Yokohama)
Der Magen knurrt und Reis und Fisch (The stomach growls and rice and fish. . .)
fallen runter auf den Tisch. (. . .falls down onto the table)
Das Lama, das Lama, das schimpft in Yokohama. (The llama, the llama, the rants in Yokohama)
Der Magen knurrt und Reis und Fisch (The stomach growls and rice and fish. . .)
fallen runter auf den Tisch. (. . .falls down onto the table)

Wo ist die Gabel? (Where is the fork?)

Hallo hallo du Lama in Yoko Yokohama (Hello, Hello you llama, in Yoko, yokohama)
schnapp dir einfach Reis und Fisch (just get yourself rice and fish)
mit den Stäbchen auf dem Tisch. (with the chopsticks on the table)
Steck alles in den Schnabel, (put everything in your mouth/beak)
es geht auch ohne Gabel. (it works without a fork as well)
Nur Mut, nur Mut (only courage, only courage)
das klappt doch schon ganz gut. (It’s working already pretty good)

Das Lama, das Lama, das lacht in Yokohama. (The llama, the llama, that laughs/smiles in Yokohama)
Es klappert wie ein Stäbchenstar. (It clacks like a chopstick-star)
Reis mit Fisch schmeckt, alles klar. (Rice and fish tastes good, all right) 7*

Alles klar, alles klar (all right, all right) 8*
du bist der größte Stäbchenstar. (you are the biggest chopstick-star) 9*
Alles klar, alles klar (all right, all right)
du bist der größte Stäbchenstar. (you are the biggest chopstick-star)

Bravo, du Lama in Yoko Yokohama. (Bravo, you llama in Yoko, Yokohama)
Endlich hast du zugeschnappt und es hat geklappt. (Finally you snapped to it, and it worked.)

Notizen (Notes)

*1. “. . .auf dem Tisch” Dative singular, masculine. “auf” here implies that the Stäbchen are on the table.
*2. “einfach” – The word “einfach” means “easy” or “simple” in German. But it also means “simply” and it often used as “just,” as in English’s “He just left (because he was mad.)” In German it would be “Er ist einfach gegangen. . .” In the context of this line, Schnappi is telling the llama to just scoop up some food with it’s chop sticks.
*3. “. .mit den Stäbchen. . .” – “mit” is always dative. Dative plural article = “den”
*4. “Die Stäbchen” literally means “the little sticks.” This word is the German expression for “chop sticks.”
*5 “es geht. . .” – the verb “gehen” means “to walk” or “to go,” but it is very often used for “it works.” For example: “This chair is a little uncomfortable, you sure you like it?” “Es geht.”
*6 “es klappt. . .” – “klappen” is most often used for “to work out”
*7 “Reis und Fisch schmekt,” ’schmecken” is the German verb for “to taste,” but when simply used as “schmecken” it means “to taste good.” Many waiters will ask you after your meal “Geschmeckt?” or “Hat’s Geschmeckt?,” (the past particle of “schmecken”)
*8“alles klar” ‘Alles klar” literally means “all clear” or “everything clear,” but is also used to acknowledge that an idea or instruction has been understood. So, it is used here, as the llama has understood how to use the chopsticks.
9* big- groß
bigger- größer —don’t forget umlaut!
biggest- (am) größte(n) —don’t forget umlaut!!

(source)


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Empty Nest

So my brother's visit is over. His stay had immediately followed two other friends' visits, so it has been a busy apartment for a while.

Cons: It's very quiet now.
Pros: No more pesky pants-wearing!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Don't Panic


Douglas Noel Adams (1952—2001)

Not part of my x/x holiday posts, but today is Towel Day, as it is every 5/52th of the year.

Some D.N.A. quotes for the day:
  • The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. I mean the idea that such complexity can arise not only out of such simplicity, but probably absolutely out of nothing, is the most fabulous extraordinary idea. And once you get some kind of inkling of how that might have happened, it's just wonderful. And . . . the opportunity to spend 70 or 80 years of your life in such a universe is time well spent as far as I am concerned.
    • Answering Richard Dawkins' question 'What is it about science that really gets your blood running?'. as quoted in Richard Dawkins' Eulogy for Douglas Adams
  • Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
    • Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
  • [The World Wide Web is] the only thing I know of whose shortened form — www — takes three times longer to say than what it's short for.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Teach The Controversy

Teach the Controversy - Challenging 'Big Science' since 2008
Ran across this sweet t-shirt recently. ^_^

Saturday, May 23, 2009

"I Lost $20"

"I lost $20," I hear, as I walk into the Safeway parking lot, "on scratch tickets."

Wait, what was that last bit?

You didn't lose $20, you spent $20 POORLY.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Bangin'

I can hear my neighbors outside complaining to each other. Apparently they can hear a banging sound, and they don't know what to do about it. So far, one has tried banging on his ceiling, and now they're all out of ideas.

Hello, my neighbors that play Rock Band at 4am. I'm putting some shelves together. (If they bothered to ask; they know it's coming from my apartment, why don't they knock? Am I scary?)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Was Jesus Gay?

Callers can be so mean.

Show/Hide

Friday, May 15, 2009

Mac Daddy Revisited

Today was the day. I shopped around, I found the best deal (looking at all specials and deals and coupons), and I picked out my mac.

I got out my credit card. This was it.

And I saw this:

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Love Of Money

This video is probably NSFW! Show/Hide

Openmindedness

You may have seen this elsewhere, but I thought it was important enough to repost here. Show/Hide


QualiaSoup has other great videos, but is displeased with YouTube at the moment.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Principal's Decision


(via)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Answer Honestly


Would you prefer...

To be able to time travel
-OR-
Live forever?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Hugh

Big Bang

Antonio Banderas is coming to Spokane?

Apparently so. "The Big Bang", a neo-noir detective story starring Banderas, is starting production up here in September.

The script is by Erik Jendresen, who also wrote "Band of Brothers" which was pretty good.

Fingers crossed, guys.

(via & via)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Say Uncle

(via osatan)
(via osatan)

Friday, May 08, 2009

Found in Forum

"I'm not american, so sorry for the badass english"

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Duke Nukem ForNever

So, if you've been on the Internet in the past few days, you've heard that 3D Realms has shut down. :-(

"I'm here to kick ass and fund development; and I'm all out of funds."
GNHMBDS7347025

Destroy Money

douglas-coupland-pressed-penny.jpg
Douglas Coupland’s thought provoking contribution to the Penny Smash project.
(via)

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

I F'ing Love Deadpool

Ignore this post if you're not a comic book nerd. Deadpool!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Cinco de Mayo


Today is the 5th of May, or Cinco de Mayo. A celebration, not of Mexican Independence (as many people believe), but of the Mexican victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla. Know your history!

In Japan, it's also Children's Day, and the end of Golden Week.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Exceptional Proof

Think you know English? Then, surely you know the phrase "the exception that proves the rule" right?

Or, do you?

The old-fashioned meaning of the verb 'prove' is 'to test'. "The exception proves the rule" made perfect sense when it was first stated - the exception casts doubt on the rule by 'testing' it and finding it inadequate; it makes no sense at all when it is used today to justify ignoring awkward exceptions.

"The exception disproves the rule" would be a modern aproximate.

The More You Know!
....--------======✩

(source)