Spokane Police Are Incompetent

Apparently they think squatters fall under the landlord-tenant act.

If any officers happen to run across this, here's a quick tutorial on how you can tell if someone is a tenant: Is there a rental agreement? No? THEN THEY'RE NOT FUCKING TENANTS.

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 4)

(Continued from Chapter Three)

Andy responded again:

Hi Phoenix,
My point was that we get our descriptions from the manufacturer's website, hence the mix of information on our website. This was a mixup on the listing, not an intentional effort to dupe you into buying something and shipping you another.

This is not the first time that Andy has blamed "the manufacturer".

Here's the problem with that: I did some searching, and FOUND the actual product that the fake description came from, the Multisports CC-755R. But... Multisports and Stamina are DIFFERENT MANUFACTURERS. The only common link they have in this mess is FITNESS DIRECT.

So, which manufacturer was it, Andy? Because there are TWO.

I have actually been out of the office with my family for the last 2 days and came back this morning to an inbox full of messages, one of which was Mark's message that you called.

That's all VERY RELEVANT. You've been out of the office with your family for the last 2 days? Oh, well then, forget the whole fraud thing you pulled on me.

I really had no idea about the error in information on the listing until after I sent you the email.

Even though you were specifically told to check the website first. Got it.

Once I discovered the error, I had my web guy get it corrected so we did'nt have more disappointed customer's like you.

It's GOOD that you took down the fake description, but you failed to inform me that you had discovered the error. (Notice how I resist mentioning the use of apostrophes? You have no idea how much willpower this is taking)

However, like I mentioned in the email, we have no problem bringing back the bike seeing the errors on the listing. I think you would agree that if we were purposely trying to mislead, we would'nt be so forthright in trying to correct the error. We have employees adding new products everyday, so unfortunately these things do happen.

Yes, claiming to have no idea why I was having a problem was very forthright. Blaming the "manufacturer" is very forthright. Blaming your employees is very forthright.

Oh, wait, what's the opposite of forthright again?

I definitely apologize for the error and the inconvenience, but I don't like to be accused of doing something illegal, when that was just not the case.

Deceit and Fraud are very clearly defined in California. Perhaps I should forward you the pages I found regarding this?

You can search the web and you will find nothing but positive comments about our company and that is something of which I take great pride.

Well, maybe this small blog post will get indexed some day, and then some future customer won't have to deal with this whole headache like I did. Speaking of which, iFitnessDirect and eFitnessDirect are the same company. Just so you know, Internet.

I'll issue the Fedex call-tag ASAP and confirm the pick-up with you. Typically, the box can just be left on your porch and they will bring the label and make the pick-up.

Regards,
Andy

I...what? The box? Apparently Andy has missed the part in my previous correspondence where I asked him to make arrangements to pick up the FULLY ASSEMBLED bike, as per my credit card company's instructions.

Anyway, this wasn't my actual response (I think I was more polite in the real e-mail, although I did request that Andy not be the one to contact me anymore), but this whole handling of the situation makes my blood boil.

Just OWN UP TO THE ERROR! Say "Hey, we fucked up! How can we make it right?" Don't feign ignorance. Don't blame the "manufacturer". Don't blame your employees. Don't blame spending time with your family. Don't ignore what I tell you. Andy has taken this small error and compounded it with deceit and incompetence. I'm beginning to believe that he is INCAPABLE of being honest.

To be continued...?

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 3)

(Continued from Chapter Two)

I then received an e-mail from Andy Grenz (the e-commerce manager), which stated (in full, direct copy-pasta):

Hi Phoenix,
Thanks again for your purchase. What are you finding to be different about the bike than the listing? YThis is a new product and I think the manufacturer has mixed up the details on a few of their models. They have this unit at $299, the 7200 at $399 and the 7300 at $499.

Just let me know if you would like to return the unit, let me know when you have it back in the box and I'll send Fedex out to get it.

Sorry for the mixup.
Regards,
Andy

What did I find to be different about the bike than the listing? Did he even CHECK the listing?

Andy helpfully included the e-mail to him from Mark Goodman (president, and I think the guy I spoke with on the phone):

From: Mark Goodman
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 12:34 PM
To: 'Andy Grenz'
Subject: Pls contact this guy ASAP
Importance: High

Stamina Fusion 7100 bike - problems....
He says it is different to what is described on website !!
Please double-check the website before you contact him.

How could he have checked the listing and not noticed what was wrong? I went back to the product page...

HE HAD CHANGED IT.

He removed the fake description and put in the real one (still with minor errors, I see). Then he pretended that nothing was wrong.

Can I borrow your phone? I need to call BULLSHIT.

I also needed to call my credit card company, which I did. I let them know everything that happened. Well, in order to do a chargeback, they normally need me to send the product back to the seller. HOWEVER, because the product is so large in this case (and not at all easily disassembled), and because the seller sold it to me under false pretenses, I only have to allow them to make arrangements to pick up the fully-assembled bike. I let Andy know all of this.

But now, it has gone from a simple mistake on a web page (which was still constructive fraud since they profited from their error), to a cover-up. Andy changed the web page and then pretended to be unable to find the error. Now, he *CLAIMS* that he wrote that e-mail to me BEFORE he saw the web page (despite being specifically told to look at the page FIRST), but if so, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME WHAT HE FOUND? If he found out later, and still failed to follow up with me, the effect is the same: suppression of the truth (aka, actual fraud).

That's right, Andy tried to fix his constructive fraud with ACTUAL FRAUD.

At this point, I feel obligated to report this to the appropriate authorities.

Continueto Chapter Four: The Excuses...

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 2)

(Continued from Chapter One)

It arrived a few days ago, and I excitedly set about assembling it. ^_^

You know that saying, about how, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is? Yeah.

The Stamina Magnetic Fusion 7100 is a piece of shit. A piece of poorly constructed shit that I could have gotten from Walmart for $100 less.

The ACTUAL features the bike came with didn't even remotely come close to the promised features on the web page.

Claim:	Fact:	True?
* Wireless and contact pulse rate	No Wireless	No
* Self-powered generator system	4 AA batteries	No
* Super smooth dual poly V-belt technology	Nope	No
* Extra large seat with high density contoured pads and lumbar support	Small seat, low density padding, not contoured, no lumbar support.	No
* Aluminum rail for precision and smoothness, 24 positions	9 positions.	No
* Side and front handlebars	TRUE!	Yes
* Self balancing pedals with wide, adjustable straps	Straps that snap on and don't come off.	No
* Front transport wheels	Single wheel.	No
* 350 lbs Maximum user weight	300 lbs, according to the manual.	No
* Workout Programs: Pre-Set Programs	TRUE!	Yes
* Accessibility: Walk Through Design	TRUE!	Yes
* Maximum User Weight: 350.00 lbs	Still 300 lbs, no matter how many times they say otherwise.	No
* Power Requirement: Self generated power	Take self to store, self purchase 4 AA batteries.	No
* Dimensions: 65" x 24" x 48"	Maybe?	Yes?
* Large LCD Window	Tiny LCD window	No
* Console Feedback: Time, Speed, Distance, Heart Rate, Calories, Watt, RPM	Yes for time, speed, distance, heart rate, calories. NO for watt, RPM.	No
* Programming: Manual, 12 Pre-Set Programs, Target Program Setting: Time, Distance, or Calories, Target HR Program, 16 levels of Resistance	SIX (6!) pre-set programs. No target programs for time, distance, or calories. NO TARGET HR PROGRAM. 8 levels of resistance.	No
* Frame: 10 Years	Frame: 5 Years	No
* Parts: 1 Year	Parts: 90 days!	No

It was still during Fitness Direct's posted business hours, so I called them right up, but there was no answer.

I called again the following day, and when I did finally get through, the man I spoke to wouldn't talk about the bike at all, but he did take down my contact information and promised that someone would get hold of me soon.

Continue to Chapter Three: The Response...

How to make free long-distance calls UPDATED (AGAIN)

In a semi-continuation of my previous post, how to score all the free Starbucks coffee you want, now I'll tell you how to make all the free long-distance calls you want.

To be absolutely zero cost, you'll need three things for this:

1. A phone line from which you can receive incoming calls for free
2. A computer connected to the Internet
3. A Grandcentral account

It may be difficult to get a zero-cost phone line, but perhaps you already have one and don't realize it. Have a phone at work? That'll do. Have pure-Internet DSL? You might have a phone line attached to it. I can't make long-distance calls from either my home or work phones, not directly, but I CAN receive incoming calls, which is the important thing.

Second is an Internet connection you can access, which again isn't free. Although, I do have a free connection at work, and there are a number of open Wi-Fi access points around my apartment. Since you're not going to be browsing around the web or downloading anything, it shouldn't be too terrible to jump on someone else's connection for just a moment. Dial-up is right out, though, since you need that phone line to be open (unless you have two+ phone lines, in which case it's fine).

The most difficult of the three to get will be the Grandcentral account. Grandcentral is a fantastic service that is currently free (although they have stated that some features may become for-fee once it leaves beta, but now that Google owns them...).

So, if you don't already have a Grandcentral number (and why not?), head on over to grandcentral.com and reserve one. You'll have to spend some time on the waiting list, but you should get through eventually. Then come back here.

Got one? OK, the feature you're going to use is called Click2Call. From your call log, or messages tab, or address book, you'll be able to see CALL buttons next to the phone numbers of your contacts. Click that, and you'll get a prompt with your phone numbers on it.

Pick a phone number, Grandcentral will call you, and when you pick up it will call your contact.

Even if that is a non-local number.

On George's suggestion, I googled a restaurant in Toronto, Canada, and tried the same trick with them. I got through, no problem. So, technically, this is a way to make free international long distance calls too. However, when I tried a number in Japan, it didn't work, so you're limited to the US and Canada. Still, more than worth the price of admission ($zero).

UPDATE:

Having had to recently make a brazillion calls this way, I found a much easier method. Previously, I was editing an account to point to the number I wanted to call, then calling it. But you have to edit the account again FOR EVERY NUMBER. When you must make many such calls, it quickly becomes a pain in the ass.

SO! Now I call myself.
I select my own address book entry, call my home phone, and input the number I want to call as the temporary number I'm calling from.

Now, if I were to try to do this when calling an actual person, it would be a bit strange. Their phone would ring, it would pick up, they'd hear my phone ring, then I'd pick up. But, since I'm calling automated systems, it's no problem. Although, I DO miss the first part of the menu sometimes.

OH! I just thought of a wonderful terrible prank. ^_^ Obviously, it starts with picking two random numbers from the phone book...

Hello, clever people. So, pick two random phone numbers. Put one in your address book, and call it.... from the other (temporary number). These people are going to have no idea what's going on. Guy A picks up his phone, it then calls another person (Girl 1), who wants to know why Guy A is calling. Guy A is very confused; someone called HIM! Argument ensues. Give them a minute or so, then do it again. And then again. That's the mean part. Here's the EVIL part: Switch the numbers. Now Girl 1 is calling Guy A. Even GREATER confusion ensues. And now here's the drawback: Each person will be getting YOUR number on their caller ID, so you're not going to be too hard to track down. ^_^

Update Again:
Now that GrandCentral is Google Voice, they took this little trick and put it right on the front page, with a simple button to press. They even tell you about it in the FAQ. So much for trickery, eh? (There's also super-cheap international calling. 2 cents/minute to Japan? Really?*)

[*Update again, again: No, not really. Japan is up to 3 cents/minute, and Canada is no longer free it's now 1 cent/minute. Darn economy!]

How to get free Starbucks drinks

Short version:

1. Buy a Gold card and a drink. Pay $25.
2. Return Gold card. Get $25.
3. Go to step 1.
   

Long version:
Starbucks has a new Gold card. It costs $25, and you get 10% off your drinks for a year (and some other benefits, like access to the wifi). Also, you get a free drink when you buy it.

Most importantly, you have 30 days to return it if you change your mind.

I know this, because I thought that the Gold cards were like the regular Starbucks cards, where you pay $25, and you have a $25 credit on the card. Well, that's not the case. When I found that out, I returned my Gold card, but they of course did not charge me for the drink they gave me when I got it. So, free Starbucks. ^_^

Offer good while supplies last, or until they close this loophole.