Horny? Make a run for the border!

Also found on the Idiocracy Index (same as Thursday's video), a little tale about a spicy group of people. Show/Hide


(via)

Cankiri Demolition

....gone WRONG! Show/Hide


(via)

"I Lost $20"

"I lost $20," I hear, as I walk into the Safeway parking lot, "on scratch tickets."

Wait, what was that last bit?

You didn't lose $20, you spent $20 POORLY.

LRN2INTERNET

(Alternate title: HOW I SHOT INTERWEB?)

Opened my iGoogle today and found this:

The Gmail gadget does not support the "Always use https" setting that you chose in full Gmail. If you would like to use https, please open full Gmail. Learn more

Google fails at httpsing? For shame, G.

This gadget worked fine yesterday; iGoogle also works fine in https. In fact, *ALL* of The Great Grand Google works fine in https except the Gmail gadget all of a sudden.

DUMB.

This Is How I'm Dumb

I had a brilliant idea: I'll get my laundry going and then take a shower. That way, the time I spend waiting for my laundry to finish and the time I spend in the shower will overlap. I'm a genius!

So I got my laundry going, and I'm about to get in the shower.

Guess where all my towels are?

You Shouldn't Use Dropbox

I signed up to the beta for Dropbox (a service that backs up and syncs all of your files in a certain folder over the Internet). Since I work on multiple computers, I thought it would be a handy tool.

And it WOULD BE, if the developers weren't so clueless.

For example, during installation in Windows, it will close ALL of your Explorer processes. Without warning.

I mean, I can understand that it has to close them to add itself. I get that. But the lack of warning is dumb (I lost a couple of deeply-nested folders this way).

But that's not the big one. The big one is when you set your Dropbox directory.

No matter what you specify, it will APPEND "My Dropbox" in Windows. Supposedly, this is to protect people from installing into their root directories (people are dumb), BUT it also won't allow you to install to ANY root directories, even on OTHER DRIVES/PARTITIONS. Which is to say, you can't even have F:/My Dropbox (also, appending a subdirectory with a *SPACE IN IT*?). So the best you could do would be F:/Dropbox/My Dropbox (which is a lot of header for the path of EVERY FILE in your Dropbox). It's dumb.

But even THAT'S not the REAL BIG ONE. The REAL big one is that it will append "Dropbox" in Linux! *NOT* "My Dropbox". So, if you dual-boot on your machine, you can't point both Dropbox directories to the same location! You're forced to sync EVERYTHING TWICE, in two different places, taking up twice the disk space. WAY DUMB.

The current official "solution" is to use an OLD version of Dropbox that isn't as retarded. Seriously, that's what they tell you to do. They've known about this problem since version 0.6.394 and now we're at 0.6.402 and it's STILL NOT FIXED (months have passed).

The Dropboxers just seem to have NO CLUE, which does not bode well for the tool. At this point in time, I have to recommend that people AVOID DROPBOX LIKE THE PLAGUE. It's definitely not ready for prime-time, and it is getting WORSE. I think I might have to close my account there, because it's getting to the point where I don't feel I can trust the people behind it (if they're THAT clueless).

It's enough to make me feel all RANTY RANT!

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 4)

(Continued from Chapter Three)

Andy responded again:

Hi Phoenix,
My point was that we get our descriptions from the manufacturer's website, hence the mix of information on our website. This was a mixup on the listing, not an intentional effort to dupe you into buying something and shipping you another.

This is not the first time that Andy has blamed "the manufacturer".

Here's the problem with that: I did some searching, and FOUND the actual product that the fake description came from, the Multisports CC-755R. But... Multisports and Stamina are DIFFERENT MANUFACTURERS. The only common link they have in this mess is FITNESS DIRECT.

So, which manufacturer was it, Andy? Because there are TWO.

I have actually been out of the office with my family for the last 2 days and came back this morning to an inbox full of messages, one of which was Mark's message that you called.

That's all VERY RELEVANT. You've been out of the office with your family for the last 2 days? Oh, well then, forget the whole fraud thing you pulled on me.

I really had no idea about the error in information on the listing until after I sent you the email.

Even though you were specifically told to check the website first. Got it.

Once I discovered the error, I had my web guy get it corrected so we did'nt have more disappointed customer's like you.

It's GOOD that you took down the fake description, but you failed to inform me that you had discovered the error. (Notice how I resist mentioning the use of apostrophes? You have no idea how much willpower this is taking)

However, like I mentioned in the email, we have no problem bringing back the bike seeing the errors on the listing. I think you would agree that if we were purposely trying to mislead, we would'nt be so forthright in trying to correct the error. We have employees adding new products everyday, so unfortunately these things do happen.

Yes, claiming to have no idea why I was having a problem was very forthright. Blaming the "manufacturer" is very forthright. Blaming your employees is very forthright.

Oh, wait, what's the opposite of forthright again?

I definitely apologize for the error and the inconvenience, but I don't like to be accused of doing something illegal, when that was just not the case.

Deceit and Fraud are very clearly defined in California. Perhaps I should forward you the pages I found regarding this?

You can search the web and you will find nothing but positive comments about our company and that is something of which I take great pride.

Well, maybe this small blog post will get indexed some day, and then some future customer won't have to deal with this whole headache like I did. Speaking of which, iFitnessDirect and eFitnessDirect are the same company. Just so you know, Internet.

I'll issue the Fedex call-tag ASAP and confirm the pick-up with you. Typically, the box can just be left on your porch and they will bring the label and make the pick-up.

Regards,
Andy

I...what? The box? Apparently Andy has missed the part in my previous correspondence where I asked him to make arrangements to pick up the FULLY ASSEMBLED bike, as per my credit card company's instructions.

Anyway, this wasn't my actual response (I think I was more polite in the real e-mail, although I did request that Andy not be the one to contact me anymore), but this whole handling of the situation makes my blood boil.

Just OWN UP TO THE ERROR! Say "Hey, we fucked up! How can we make it right?" Don't feign ignorance. Don't blame the "manufacturer". Don't blame your employees. Don't blame spending time with your family. Don't ignore what I tell you. Andy has taken this small error and compounded it with deceit and incompetence. I'm beginning to believe that he is INCAPABLE of being honest.

To be continued...?

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 3)

(Continued from Chapter Two)

I then received an e-mail from Andy Grenz (the e-commerce manager), which stated (in full, direct copy-pasta):

Hi Phoenix,
Thanks again for your purchase. What are you finding to be different about the bike than the listing? YThis is a new product and I think the manufacturer has mixed up the details on a few of their models. They have this unit at $299, the 7200 at $399 and the 7300 at $499.

Just let me know if you would like to return the unit, let me know when you have it back in the box and I'll send Fedex out to get it.

Sorry for the mixup.
Regards,
Andy

What did I find to be different about the bike than the listing? Did he even CHECK the listing?

Andy helpfully included the e-mail to him from Mark Goodman (president, and I think the guy I spoke with on the phone):

From: Mark Goodman
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 12:34 PM
To: 'Andy Grenz'
Subject: Pls contact this guy ASAP
Importance: High

Stamina Fusion 7100 bike - problems....
He says it is different to what is described on website !!
Please double-check the website before you contact him.

How could he have checked the listing and not noticed what was wrong? I went back to the product page...

HE HAD CHANGED IT.

He removed the fake description and put in the real one (still with minor errors, I see). Then he pretended that nothing was wrong.

Can I borrow your phone? I need to call BULLSHIT.

I also needed to call my credit card company, which I did. I let them know everything that happened. Well, in order to do a chargeback, they normally need me to send the product back to the seller. HOWEVER, because the product is so large in this case (and not at all easily disassembled), and because the seller sold it to me under false pretenses, I only have to allow them to make arrangements to pick up the fully-assembled bike. I let Andy know all of this.

But now, it has gone from a simple mistake on a web page (which was still constructive fraud since they profited from their error), to a cover-up. Andy changed the web page and then pretended to be unable to find the error. Now, he *CLAIMS* that he wrote that e-mail to me BEFORE he saw the web page (despite being specifically told to look at the page FIRST), but if so, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME WHAT HE FOUND? If he found out later, and still failed to follow up with me, the effect is the same: suppression of the truth (aka, actual fraud).

That's right, Andy tried to fix his constructive fraud with ACTUAL FRAUD.

At this point, I feel obligated to report this to the appropriate authorities.

Continueto Chapter Four: The Excuses...

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 2)

(Continued from Chapter One)

It arrived a few days ago, and I excitedly set about assembling it. ^_^

You know that saying, about how, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is? Yeah.

The Stamina Magnetic Fusion 7100 is a piece of shit. A piece of poorly constructed shit that I could have gotten from Walmart for $100 less.

The ACTUAL features the bike came with didn't even remotely come close to the promised features on the web page.

Claim:	Fact:	True?
* Wireless and contact pulse rate	No Wireless	No
* Self-powered generator system	4 AA batteries	No
* Super smooth dual poly V-belt technology	Nope	No
* Extra large seat with high density contoured pads and lumbar support	Small seat, low density padding, not contoured, no lumbar support.	No
* Aluminum rail for precision and smoothness, 24 positions	9 positions.	No
* Side and front handlebars	TRUE!	Yes
* Self balancing pedals with wide, adjustable straps	Straps that snap on and don't come off.	No
* Front transport wheels	Single wheel.	No
* 350 lbs Maximum user weight	300 lbs, according to the manual.	No
* Workout Programs: Pre-Set Programs	TRUE!	Yes
* Accessibility: Walk Through Design	TRUE!	Yes
* Maximum User Weight: 350.00 lbs	Still 300 lbs, no matter how many times they say otherwise.	No
* Power Requirement: Self generated power	Take self to store, self purchase 4 AA batteries.	No
* Dimensions: 65" x 24" x 48"	Maybe?	Yes?
* Large LCD Window	Tiny LCD window	No
* Console Feedback: Time, Speed, Distance, Heart Rate, Calories, Watt, RPM	Yes for time, speed, distance, heart rate, calories. NO for watt, RPM.	No
* Programming: Manual, 12 Pre-Set Programs, Target Program Setting: Time, Distance, or Calories, Target HR Program, 16 levels of Resistance	SIX (6!) pre-set programs. No target programs for time, distance, or calories. NO TARGET HR PROGRAM. 8 levels of resistance.	No
* Frame: 10 Years	Frame: 5 Years	No
* Parts: 1 Year	Parts: 90 days!	No

It was still during Fitness Direct's posted business hours, so I called them right up, but there was no answer.

I called again the following day, and when I did finally get through, the man I spoke to wouldn't talk about the bike at all, but he did take down my contact information and promised that someone would get hold of me soon.

Continue to Chapter Three: The Response...

I Hate Stupid People

So, this great site called "Let me google that for you" showed up on Digg. I *LOVE* this site. You can get a URL that will take someone to an animated page where it types in their query and presses submit and sends them to the Google search results. Fantastic!

Then, in the comments, someone suggested this link. It's a LMGTFY link that takes them to the JFGI site. JFGI is another great site for people tired of asking them questions they could be asking Google. Brilliant!

But the long URL gives it away, so I wanted to make a TinyURL. A handy new feature of TinyURL is that you can specify the codeword in the link. So, instead of http://tinyurl.com/6p8z8q I could have something like http://tinyurl.com/lmgtfy EXCEPT I CAN'T.

Someone (quazerjim) took that URL already. It looks like they wanted it to be a recursive call to LMGTFY. But they failed, oh so miserably.

FIRST of all, Google doesn't index redirects. SO, it was never going to work anyway.

SECOND, they didn't type in the query correctly! Did they even TRY? CHECK YOUR LINKS, PEOPLE!

lmgfty was taken, jfgi was taken... Sheesh.

I did manage to get a SnipURL though:
http://snipr.com/lmgtfy
Should be easy enough to remember, if you ever need it.

How to get free Starbucks drinks

Short version:

1. Buy a Gold card and a drink. Pay $25.
2. Return Gold card. Get $25.
3. Go to step 1.
   

Long version:
Starbucks has a new Gold card. It costs $25, and you get 10% off your drinks for a year (and some other benefits, like access to the wifi). Also, you get a free drink when you buy it.

Most importantly, you have 30 days to return it if you change your mind.

I know this, because I thought that the Gold cards were like the regular Starbucks cards, where you pay $25, and you have a $25 credit on the card. Well, that's not the case. When I found that out, I returned my Gold card, but they of course did not charge me for the drink they gave me when I got it. So, free Starbucks. ^_^

Offer good while supplies last, or until they close this loophole.

Duck Tales Inflation Lesson

An episode of Duck Tales dealing with the negative consequences of inflation.
Show/Hide

Comment from Digg:

It seems insane that even a kids show shows what will happen if we keep the current system of money we have and yet the people in charge seem to not be able to grasp such a simple concept.

Qwerty is designed to slow you down

...is a myth.

I picked up this correction from the Dvorak Zine when it was featured on Slashdot a few years ago. It stuck with me because I had, like one of the zine researchers, believed it to be true. It seemed to be logical, yes? Science knows, the qwerty layout itself isn't logical.

But it's a complete fabrication. QWERTY, as a layout, was created BEFORE there were typists, during the design process for the first typewriters. There WAS NOBODY TO SLOW DOWN.

But a lot of people don't know this, and so the old myth persists.

This came up recently in a course I'm taking on the human-computer user interface. I mentioned that I thought the keyboard/mouse combo was a great interface (it is), which brought up qwerty, which someone mentioned was designed to slow you down, which I corrected,

and was then corrected by the instructor. YES, he said, it WAS designed to slow down typing. Not only that, but the most commonly used keys were placed in positions harder to hit (weaker fingers, the bottom row, etc), and common sequences (like the word-ending 'ion') were broken up so you couldn't hit them all together...

All of which is completely wrong.

The 13 most commonly used letters in English are, in order, ETAONRISHDLUC (this changes over time, and I haven't checked in a few years; you might be more familiar with the previous ETAOIN SHRDLU).

Five (ASHDL) are on the home row, easiest to hit. Six (ETORIU) are on the top row, 2nd easiest to hit. Only two (NC) are on the bottom row.

Four (TRHU) are struck by the index fingers alone (I also hit C this way, because I learned WRONG), the strongest fingers.

'ION' uses three adjacent fingers on one hand. It's not strictly right-to-left, but you very much can hit them all together.

Anyway. I tried to put down a common myth and was "corrected" by the teacher. You'd think this wouldn't bother me anymore. The me-being-correct-but-not-believed thing, I mean. I do seem to have a very Cassandra-esque curse in this regard.

Bother

It bothers me when people don't read the entire contents of an e-mail before responding. I spent some time crafting that message, choosing the right words, the best phrases... And then they read the first two sentences and reply.

True story: I'm working on my masters project for computer science. What I would like to do is use games as a medium for education, eg, an RPG where you learn a language while playing. Simple, right? And while I could do this easily on a computer, for the specific game I have in mind, a stylus is preferred. So, the Nintendo DS would be ideal. But, as just a guy, I don't really fit the developer profile they are looking for. However, I decided to send them an e-mail to ask them, just to be sure. Something like:

Hi, I'm a student working on my final project, and I was wondering if Nintendo has an educational program for developers. Since I don't meet the specifications for a developer license myself, could my university acquire one? Thanks for your time.

What I got back was (verbatim):

Hello and thank you for contacting Nintendo,

While I would like to assist you with your project, I don't have access to the type of information you are looking for. Due to the number of similar e-mail we receive, we're not able to assist with projects like yours, and we're not equipped to track down official responses to questions.

It may interest you to know that all of the information we have available is posted on our website at www.nintendo.com. If you visit our site, be sure to check out the "Corporate" section. This is where we have posted Nintendo's business-related information, annual reports, and a company history.

Also, several books and articles have been written on the video game industry. "Game Over" by David Sheff and "The Ultimate History of Video Games" by Steve L. Kent were written several years ago, but are excellent resources on the video game industry.

Although we regret being unable to assist you with your request, we're confident that you will find the listed resources useful.

Sincerely,

Nintendo of America Inc.

At first, I thought they were talking about my actual project, but as I continued reading, I realized that somehow they got the impression that I was writing a report on the history of gaming or Nintendo or something. Grrr.

It's got what plants crave.

If for some reason you haven't heard yet, Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator, the drink from the movie Idiocracy (It's got electrolytes! It's got what plants crave), is now a real, actual drink. Here's the drink, here's a shop, and here's the commercial: