Phoenix Turns 30

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.
--The Beatles

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water
There's poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
--Weird Al

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Wow 30 is a big one. But aren't you glad to be done with all that crap you went through in your 20s?
--My father

Oh, sure. I'm glad those COLLEGE YEARS are behind me! After all, thousands of erudite, available co-eds who desire to explore their sexuality. I'm sure opportunities like that will come MANY times in my life.

Ah, my twenties. When I turned 20, I was still in high school. Prince Charles and Princess Diana were still married. It was before Heaven's Gate, the Oklahoma City bombing, and the OJ trial; before Viagra, the Euro, and the Clinton scandal. So much has happened. So much time has passed. It's got to be, what, like 10 years! That's almost a decade!

Let's get these questions out of the way now.

Q: Wow! Does being 30 make you feel old?
A: No, getting a haircut and seeing that, not only am I much grayer than I remember, I am rapidly going bald makes me feel old. Having trouble reading street signs or reaching my toes makes me feel old. Having a bowl of bran flakes in the morning for breakfast makes me feel REALLY old.

Q: What's the first thing you did on your birthday?
A: Well, it's thursday, so I took the garbage out. Then I went to work. Not many people here know it's my birthday, and I doubt any of them really care, since I just moved here recently.

Q: That's sad.
A: That's not a question. Also, it's inaccurate. I get to have my birthday before my sister because I'm in Japan. :D So, there are advantages.

Also, I stay in touch with people back home (no man is an island). Speaking of people back home: yesterday, the local package delivery woman was at work, and she asked me when I was going to be home. I had two big packages that she needed to deliver. Now, I realize that it's my birthday, but anyone who knows me well enough to buy me a gift would also know that I don't really care for gifts. What could it be? I waited at home at the appointed time.....(Japanese punctuality sometimes being somewhat mythical)...she arrived and brought the first package to my door. As I went to sign for it, I noticed the name on the package.

It was for my landlord.

Q: Haha! Were you disappointed?
A: Of course! I had left work early to wait for the delivery lady. If I had known that the packages weren't for me, I could have stayed at work longer.

Q: Wow, you sound old.
A: Sigh. I know.

Q: How come you don't update your blog very often?
A: How is that related to my birthday?

Q: I'll ask the questions around here!
A: Fine. I don't update my blog very often because, theoretically, I'm spending all my free time studying Japanese.

Q: And in reality?
A: I spend some time studying Japanese, and a lot of time reading other people's blogs. Which is doubly sad, because I keep finding interesting things and want to link to them, but I'm trying not to blog as much. Actually, I'm just not POSTING as much; I'm still blogging mentally. If you've read my old posts, you know I had my filter removed. Well, without a filter, I've got a non-stop stream of consiousness (random thoughts, trivia, Dave Barry jokes, and for some reason music). The blog was my outlet, but not blogging doesn't mean the stream stops. Also, I'm mentally writing blog entries all the time, so sometimes I'm actually surprised to check my blog and find that I haven't posted anything.

Q: Are you going to go back to posting more?
A: Maybe. I started the blog as a kind of journal for my thoughts. I like the blog format (small, condensed posts; efficient). That goal still stands.

Q: Well, I enjoy reading your stuff. Keep it up, and enjoy being middle aged.
A: Thanks, but I don't consider being 30 "middle aged". That implies that I'm in the middle of my life; that it's half over. That would mean I would die when I'm 60! Forget about it! I plan on living to at least 120. So, I'm only quarter aged.

Q: That's the spirit. Any long term goals?
A: Not to die.

Q: Hehe. OK. That's all the questions I have.
A: OK. This was fun.