Phoenix is pushing a shopping cart, looking around. He stops a female employee and her co-worker.
Co-worker snickers.PhoenixExcuse me, do you guys have toe socks?FemaleNo, I'm afraid not.PhoenixOh? I thought you used to.Female (sarcastically)Well, they became cool again.
How does Phoenix respond?FemaleTry coming back two years ago.
Posts
I've been thinking hard about this one and I've come up with a couple.
ReplyDeleteA) "You mean when this was only a temporary job until you saved enough to go to college/buy a car/pay some bills, before you got knocked up by an electronic's associate who swears he never slept with you and now your stuck working here to support his kid while he's moved on to a better job at Best Buy?"
B)"You mean when I was in Iraq defending your freedom and Walmart sent me a care-package containing the very first pair of toe socks I ever owned thus lifting my moral and getting me addicted to their separate coziness?"
C)"Sarcasm, that's original."
D)"What was your name again? I want to tell the manager how helpful you've been."
E) "Wow you are clever, that must be why you got the job here. Me I could never be that witty, I'll just have to settle for being a software developer and always wonder what might have been had I only had the intelligence to be Wal-Mart associate."
A pause. Phoenix suddenly punches female employee in the face. She falls to the ground. Phoenix stands over her limp and bloodied body. He shoots a glance at the co-worker. The co-worker runs. Phoenix takes the female employee's toe socks.
ReplyDeletePHOENIX
Twat.
To quote a stoned Red Foreman: "What a bitch-a-roony-doony!" That's probably what my response would have been. Of course, hours later, I would have come up with something so cool (like the Jerk Store), but it would be too late. :(
ReplyDelete"Sarcasm, that's original" was actually one of the responses that occurred to me, followed by how I picked up toe socks during my adventures overseas, while she worked at Wal-Mart.
ReplyDeleteIn the end though, I actually didn't say anything, just turned and walked away (the "Try coming back in two years" was shouted after me).
Why? Because she works at WAL-MART. What could I possibly say that would top that? And why would I say it? I mean, c'mon! The poor girl works at WAL-MART! I don't kick people when they're down. I don't mug homeless people. They don't have much to steal.
Although, wouldn't it be fun to do that? Imagine them trying to file a police report! "He took my newspapers! I was using them as blankets!" Alright, now I know what I'm doing this weekend.
Great answers, guys. ^_^