NJ: Life Is Short

Here's excerpts from a random survey from Chelle's journal.

What do you think happens after you after you die?
NOTHING.

Do you believe in heaven?
Does Nutty Waffle Cone Ice Cream count?

Do you believe in hell?
No, but I've never been stuck in L.A. traffic before, either.

Do you think you will be judged after you die?
No, I'm going to plea bargain.

How many people would attend your funeral?
"Screw funeral....there's gonna be a party" -- Chelle

Would you rather that people cry or laugh at your funeral?
I just want to hear the lamentations of the women.

What's better? A shot in the head or downing pills?
Therapy.

What should be written on your tombstone?
DANGER! DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE!

Would you rather die childless or divorced?
I would rather not die in the first place.

Do you want to die in the morning, afternoon, or night?
At night. While with women. After having been with women all morning and afternoon.

If you had a million dollars to leave, who would you leave it to?
My clone.

What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?
Something poisonous. I don't want to be dead alone. ;D

On your deathbed, which moment will you most remember?
That I left the stove on.

What's the most gruesome death you can imagine?
Falling from a great height. High enough to have time to ponder the situation.

How often do you think about death?
Almost never. Unless you mean the Terry Pratchett Discworld character who SPEAKS LIKE THIS and has a fondness for cats, whom I think of constantly. But then, that's Capital-D Death, innit?

Is fear of dying your number one fear?
Second, after those little white spiders. Man, I really hate those spiders.

Do you believe in reincarnation?
No, but I believe in Déjà Vu. The strip club at least.

Have you ever wished someone you loved were dead?
Never. If I had, they wouldn't really be someone I loved, now would they?

Do you consider life short or long?
"Life is short – but the years are long." -- Lazarus

Do you think you have a soul?
I had it removed when I was a kid (but I got ice cream afterward, which was cool).

Assisted suicide for a terminally ill person is:
Their prerogative.

If you were cremated, where would you like your ashes?
At a resurrection research center.

Would you choose to be immortal, if you could be?
Absolutely.