I would like to be an artist

When I was younger, I wanted to be an artist. And a musician, and an author, and and and etc...

I loved to sketch things out. I didn't have much innate ability, but I figured that with hard work and practice, I would gain practical skill. There were two things that prevented me from reaching my goal:

1. My colorbindness
2. The accident

Now, ideally disabilities like colorblindness can be overcome. Practically, however, it's really not that possible. I might train myself to recognize some colors that I can't now identify, but that still wouldn't give me the sense that an artist needs. I wouldn't be able to see colors as you would. (Yeah, yeah, work in black & white, I know; it's very limiting however).

And then there was the accident, wherein my right hand was crushed. That put the kibosh on any freehand drawing/painting (as well as ending piano playing and basically anything else that requires full use of your hands).

But I still come back to the idea every now and again. I have my wacom tablet hooked up at work and I play around with Painter and Sketchbook, without much success. Lately, I have been experimenting with photographs, trying to make a regular picture look drawn or painted. I have not yet been entirely successful, but here are some of the results so far:


Redfield Sketch Master "Sketch", darken, 67% opacity on the face only, top layer
Redfield Sketch Master "Crayon", soft light, 50% opacity
Cutout + Palette Knife for the background


These two are very nearly identical.
They both have dry brush 50% on the top layer
Redfield Sketch Master "Crayon", soft light, 50%
The first one has cutout + palette knife as the background
The second one has a Corel Painter autopaint as the background

I think the colors seem off on the second one, but how can I tell? For both of them, I think there is too much detail just in the face, but how do you get _just_ the right amount? I'm still searching.


"Welcome to my secret lair under Skullcrusher Mountain."

One of my co-workers made an excellent villain for Halloween. Unfortunately, Photoshop does not save your actions history in the PSD, and I don't exactly remember how I got to this point.
Probably crayon on cutout + palette knife with face and eye details somehow.


"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."

Again, details are missing (I've got to start labeling my layers better)
eye in dry brush, 50% (I think)
face in graphic pen, soft light, 50% (I'm guessing)
crayon, soft light, 50% (I'd imagine)
autopaint, 50%
cutout as background



And my favorite as last. I think this is the one that most succeeds in looking hand-drawn.
dry brush eyes, 50%
crayon, soft light
cutout + palette knife as base

I Like Babies

I found Anne Loucks via an essay she wrote on Star Wars, but her essays cover a wide range of topics. Here's another one:

I Like Babies

by Anne Loucks

Babies are delicious. The flesh of a baby has not had time to become tough, stringy, and unpleasant. Many of the best meals I have ever eaten were simple affairs: some baby meat, with a nice salad of young greens, French bread, and a glass of red wine. Few things are quite as delectable.

My favorite sort of babies are lambs, skinned and slow roasted. I cannot eat a whole one in a single sitting, but they are wonderful. I am also quite fond of young carrots, chicken ovum, apple placenta, and peanut fetuses. Where would we be without babies to consume? I suppose we could limit ourselves to fully grown plants and animals, but few people wish to eat a cherry tree, piece of hay, or elderly rooster.

With certain organisms, removing and eating their baby allows us to harvest and use a great deal of delicious mammary excretions originally meant for the offspring. Milk can be drunk straight or perhaps with a bit of flower nectar regurgitated by a bee. My favorite use for mammalian breast discharge involves curdling it, and leaving those curds out to be carefully rotted by various bacterias and molds. I love a good cheese with a nice hunk of french bread.

Now, some people may call bread the staff of life, but staff of genocide is more like it. For a single loaf, thousands of helpless wheat zygotes are crushed, and then repeatedly mashed together with water until they become sticky and glutinous. These are then fed upon by billions of vulture-like yeast who fart carbon dioxide, creating lovely bubble homes within the raw dough. For a while it seems like the slaughter of so many potential wheat plants has a silver lining, the happy fungi living out their lives as they please. Then, the entire colony is placed in an oven where all life within the bread is extinguished by fiery heat. After which, the resulting mountain of cooked corpses is devoured by slavering humans like you and me.

This talk of everyday slaughter might bother some people, but it is making me hungry. I'm off to eat some boiled rice fetuses mixed with fat separated from the mammary discharge of a cow and sprinkled with saffron uterus. I'll also be drinking a glass of yeast urine made from the amniotic fluid of a grape.

She has a few more. Definitely worth a read.

Expected Exception

I saw this error when I was playing around with LastRipper:



If it was really expected, then why...?

Trader Joe's

Why don't we have a Trader Joe's in Spokane?
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No Post

So my buffer of forward posts ran out and there was no new post yesterday. I HAD been hoping that my posting streak would at least last the entire month, and with less than a week to go I blinked.

SO close...

This happened because I worked through this past weekend trying to get projects done for school, instead of fun projects like the blog. And all weekend long, I kept thinking "Oh, I really have to remember to write my posts for this week. I'm definitely going to do that..." and then it was Tuesday.

:-(

Digital Tuner Stuff

I previous mentioned that the digital tuner coupon program ran out of money the day I signed up. Timing!

Anyway, I was put on the waiting list, and lo! Guess what arrived in the mail recently? My coupon.

I've looked at the comparison of boxes, and unless a better one comes along soon, I think I'll go with the Channel Master CM-7000. It's got good picture quality and s-video output. It's not perfect, but it's OK.

So, with the converter, I'm going to need an antenna!

Why don't I just make one? I found a couple sets of instructions.

#1: How to build a HDTV Antenna....CHEAP!
http://uhfhdtvantenna.blogspot.com/
Mmm, effective, but not pretty.

#2: The Gray-Hoverman Antenna For UHF Television Reception
http://www.digitalhome.ca/ota/superantenna/index.htm
Oooh, complicated!

Mmmmaybe I'll just buy one.

Romantische

Der Schlangemann has reminded me of a romantic tip (via The Sneeze [same tip as last year]).

A long time ago when my wife was my girlfriend and we were LIVING IN SIN, a tradition was born. I'd like to now share it with you all.

I came home from work one day and found her in front of the computer. I said "Hello," and she barely grunted back. I don't even think she looked up.

Half-jokingly I responded, "Okay, we're gonna try this again." I walked out the front door and came back in a few moments later...

"STEVIE'S HOME, STEVIE'S HOME!!! YAY!!!" was the new over-the-top cheer I was greeted with. It was accompanied by a hug and kisses. And I loved it.

What began as a joke quickly became an ongoing practice that continues to this day in our house: The person who is home first must make a small fuss when the other person gets there.

Does it sound silly? Yes. Do I promise that it will set the tone for a nicer evening just about every time you do it? Yes.

The world is full of douchebags, guys. Take 3 seconds out of your precious day to make a fuss over each other. Do it like you mean it. Do it as a goof. Just do it a lot.

I'm promise you'll be glad you did.

And THAT reminded me of the "I Love You Today" game in my family. The game is simple: whomever says "I love you today" first, wins. That's the whole game.

Well, actually that's not all, as there are variations. "I love you this year" for example, but that doesn't come up too often. ^_^

While playing it every day is the goal, if you run into someone you haven't seen for a while (that you play the game with), it's fun working it into the conversation before they remember.

A: Oh, guess what?
B: What?
A: I love you today.
B: Damn it!

You can add variations of the rules (no saying it right after midnight, etc), but the real point is just to say "I love you" every day.

Is it cheesy? Yup. And silly, and kind of goofy. But, like Steve's tip, it does make a difference. ^_^

(Says the single guy...)

Der Schlangemann

*WARNING*
This is a stop-motion animation film that contains mock genitalia and explicit sexual acts involving dolls. Viewer discretion is advised.
(warning from archive.org)

Here is the classic Der Schlangemann video that you may have heard me mention. Now, the original site is gone, unfortunately. (It was actually still up [sans videos] when I originally intended to post this, however many months ago that was).

However, the Internet Archive has kept it online. Isn't technology wonderful?

Don't watch this video at work, unless your workplace is OK with German doll-men with giant penises sexing up Barbie.

(Also, video is entirely in German with no subtitles. But, it is very understandable!)

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Basic Instructions

Today's Basic Instructions mentions Spokane. That is all.

Calling "Blog Rights"

Thomas introduced me to the practice of calling 'blog rights' to something. Having never heard of the practice, I called blog rights to 'blog rights'.

That was what, two months ago? More? It's been a while.

So here it is, at long last: the rules to calling blog rights (with addendum).

1. The first person to call it gets it.
2. You can't pre-call it (eg, no going "I call blog rights on the concert we're going to next weekend").

It's really a lot like calling shotgun. Here's the proposed addendum:

• If someone calls blog rights to something, and NEVER POSTS IT, their exclusive rights expire. Let's say, in a week.

Does that work?

The Price Of Beer

On Friday, Feb 6th, the CS department went to the bar.

It was a lot of fun, but I did end up drinking too much (people kept buying me beers, what was I supposed to do?). I told a friend that he was annoying. I also was informed about a beer that resembles my beloved Sapporo. I should have left sooner though.

When I went to pay my tab (for the two beers that I myself had ordered), there were a bunch of mixed drinks on there. Not mine.

At this point, the waitstaff from earlier had already gone. According to them (on the phone), someone had gone to the counter and ordered drinks and said that they were Phoenix.

So, unless there are more of me (unlikely, since my doppelganger lives in the Seattle area), someone was putting drinks on my tab.

Anyway, the point is I ended up paying for the drinks. So my two beers came to around $27. Not quite $14 a beer, but close.

At that price, I might as well stick with wine.

The Brightness

I live in a cave.

Or, at least it seems that way at times. All the bulbs are 60-watt, and it's so dark in my kitchen that I usually have to have the stove light on as well just to see what I'm doing.

Well, I had a few burned out bulbs, and when I went to purchase replacements, I decided to start switching over to CFLs. And since I was switching to CFLs, I also opted to increase from 60-watt to 100-watt (equivalent brightness). So, not-quite-twice the brightness for just over a third the electrical cost.

Oh. My. Science.

It's so much brighter in my apartment, it's hard to describe. I no longer feel like I'm living in a cave. It's like stepping out into sunshine. I should have done this months ago.

An interesting side effect is that it is making me more aware of when I turn on the lights. See, if you turn on a CFL, you should leave it on for at least half an hour (which is why I don't use CFLs in the bathroom), otherwise you drastically shorten its lifespan. So now I am more aware of when I turn on the hallway light, for example. Because if I'm going to leave it on for 30+ minutes, I better be sure I need it. If it's a momentary need, I'll probably just leave it off and do without.

TopFive is Gone

They actually appeared to have stopped making lists last August.

I didn't notice because I don't read them anymore. I imagine a lot of others went the same way.

See, I used to love TopFive. Back in, say, 1996, they were really funny. Then they spread out into Little Fivers, and those were less funny. Then they had a subscriber program, where you would get an ad-free list.

And then they stopped giving you the whole list if you weren't a subscriber. They'd cut off the top half (eg, the funniest half) in the e-mail, and you would have to go to the site for it. This is when I stopped reading.

You're going to give me ADS and NOT THE LIST? Thanks, but no thanks. And that's not mentioning the drop in quality of the main lists. The top contributors had gone off to be funny on their own and the people left were... meh.

So, I'm sorry to see that TopFive is not producing at the moment (but may come back), but it doesn't really affect me. TopFive stopped producing for me years ago.

Ideas Lost

Whenever I have (what I think is a) great idea, I write it down immediately.

If I'm at my computer (most of the time), I have text files filled with ideas, ready at hand.

If I'm out walking around, I have my handy cell phone to type my ideas into.

This morning, I had a great idea. While driving.

WHAT WAS IT?

Forward Posting Revisited

How is the forward posting experiment going so far?

Well, drafts and scheduled posts now take up the entire first page of the Edit Posts menu (and part of the second).

Sometimes it's great, like during the week when I have almost NO time to post anything. I don't have to worry.

Sometimes it sucks, like when Mike posts a video that I have sitting in my queue. ^_^

Sometimes so much time has passed between when I write something and when it posts that the post is meaningless or out-of-date on arrival.

Overall, I like it. I can sometimes think of scheduled posts in the back of my mind, simmering away, and something new will occur to me, or I'll have a change of heart. I can edit it before it posts; I have plenty of time. And if I forget, well, then it wasn't that important. ^_^

The Reverend: Evil League of Evil application

The Reverend applies for a spot at the table...stable...whatever.
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This was one of my favorites from the ELE application videos.

Not to be confused with the master of puppets,
I'm the Plush Preacher, Father Felt, the Pastor of Muppets.
I'm the Miniature Minister of Sinister stuff
The Priest made of ping pong balls, mischief and fluff.
I am the puppet of the lord and I will tell you how to get
to Bless-a-Me Street if y'all ain't gotten there yet.
Stop your thinking. Stop your feeling. Stop your copulation.
I'll make puppets of the entire population.
I'll put my hand up politicians, scientists and theologians.
And I'll bribe the Evil League of Evil with indulgence.
That's right, even the thoroughbred of sin
can trot straight through the pearly gates if y'all let me in.
An offer you can't refuse. Unless you get one higher.
Or unless you just do, in which case, you know, fire.
Of the perpetual variety. So what's it gonna be?
Let the puppet in your club or burn for all eternity?

This is not as much a request
as it is a proposal of-
fering you something quite val-
uable you won't find anywhere else.

Still not sure? Need some more?
Well...what am I here for?
You're probably thinking, that's a preacher not a villain.
He can't be down with us unless he's out there killing.
Well, I've told you about my abilities as a herder,
so let's get to the real stuff: What's my stance on murder?
Well, once you know you've sinned beyond all redemption,
and you know you have no honest chance at ascension,
there's nothing wrong with killing. You might as well,
'cause the good ones go to heaven and the bad ones go to hell.
That's fair! They all get exactly what they require.
Everybody wins. Well, not the bad ones, 'cause...fire.
But I reckon I'm in the right. Me and the Lord are tight.
So you better let me in or you're in for a fight.
I'll kill you all, and forget about heaven.
So, do I get the job? Signed, the Reverend.

This is not as much a request
as it is a proposal of-
fering you something quite val-
uable you won't get anywhere else.

P.S. I really need this job. The church kicked me out 'cause of...an incident I don't wish to talk about. But I assure you I am not in any way a sexual deviant. Shut up! I am 100% heterosexual. You hear that, Bad horse? I have no desire what so ever to walk into your stall in the middle of the night...with a jar of... Okay, reverend, keep it together, remember shock therapy, remember the good book! Remember the...purdy horsie. No! No, bad reverend! Bad reverend!
Anyway. Yeah. Let me in the league or you're all going down. Far, far down. I'd like to go dow--No! Bad! But if you take me, you automatically get my invisible friend,
the most powerful being in or outside the universe on your side.
You may have heard of him. Can't pass that up.
So...can't wait to hear from y'all. Till then, well, God bless.

To download the mp3, go to http://www.last.fm/music/Vincent+E.+L. and click "albums"!

There are a few Ask The Reverend videos on YouTube. You can ask him questions @ Reverend @ Swenglish.nu.

Why Science Is Awesome

(Originally scheduled for yesterday, but got bumped)

Saw this comment on Digg recently:
GREEDOnvrFIRED
on 01/20/2009

What happened to Pluto is what I adore about science. New technology... providing new information... that causes the scientific community to realize fault in it's existing information. No adherence to tradition, no injured pride, no accusations of heresy and no excommunication. You just inform the world that billions of books, posters, documentaries and science fair models are WRONG. And when the world replies "COME ON!" Science replies "TOUGH SH*T" this is science. I love it.

Update: After I wrote this, Neil deGrasse Tyson appeared on the Daily Show and talked about Pluto:
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Neil deGrasse Tyson

Daily Show Full Episodes
Funny Political Videos

Important Things With Demetri Martin
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Happy Birthday Darwin

Happy Birthday Charles Darwin!

I was just thinking about him! There was this post over on Slashdot the day before yesterday. Darwinism Must Die So Evolution Can Live.

"Equating evolution with Charles Darwin opened the door for creationism by ignoring 150 years of discoveries, including most of what scientists understand about evolution — Gregor Mendel's patterns of heredity, the discovery of DNA, developmental biology, studies documenting evolution in nature, and evolution's role in medicine and disease. Darwinism implies an ideology adhering to one man's dictates, like Marxism. Nobody talks about Newtonism or Einsteinism, and that by making Darwin into a sacred fetish misses the essence of his teaching. By propounding "Darwinism," even scientists and science writers perpetuate an impression that evolution is about one man, one book, one theory. "Darwinism" implies that biological scientists "believe in" Darwin's "theory." It's as if, since 1860, scientists have just ditto-headed Darwin rather than challenging and testing his ideas, or adding vast new knowledge."

Yeah...except as MANY /.ers pointed out, actual scientists DON'T SAY "DARWINISM". They say neodarwinism; Darwins theory plus all the addition evidence of the last 150 year. Or they say darwinian evolution (to distinguish it from, say, lamarckian evolution), meaning natural selection as the mechanism. But when they are talking about evolution in the modern understanding of it, you know what they say? "Evolution". As Thomas pointed out, Darwin didn't invent evolution. The only people that say "Darwinism" are creationists, trying to obfuscate the arguments: if you pin an idea to a person, you can ad hominem attack the person.

I didn't even know it was Darwin's birthday today until Google told me. (More on that in some future post)

SPEAKING of Creationists, I hope everyone has seen the Creationist Junk Debunked videos. Sometimes funny, and sometimes sad that people believe the things they say.

Sign Up To Comment

So, I had followed a link from Thomas' to Girl Grows Up (or, Potomac Fever?), and saw a post that mentioned a Mark Haddon book. I read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time on the recommendation of a friend while I lived in Japan. It's a sort-of mystery told from the perspective of an autistic boy. Now, having an autistic brother of my own, to whom I was a care-provider for a couple years, I came at the novel from an unusual perspective. Some things were just plain incorrect, but overall I think I enjoyed it.

But could I comment about it?

Apparently not.

See, when I followed the comment link, I was presented with this:

You will be asked to join Vox to post this comment.

Want to comment? Join our site. I have to say, it's 2009, and that's lame.

You want to leave a comment here? Now, I have anonymous comments disabled. BUT! You just have to have an OpenID somewhere. Anywhere. Such as AOL, Blogger, Flickr, LiveJournal, Yahoo, WordPress. Or Vox.

That's right, if you have a Vox account, you can post comments here, but I can't post comments there. It's strictly one-way.

Get with the times, Vox!

Firefox Woes?

So, I was editing the Moosebutter post, right?

I had gone to YouTube looking for Terry Fator videos. I had never heard of Terry Fator, but I followed a link from Thomas' to Snickersnack's, and there it was. But those videos had expired, so I went to YouTube.

I saw that Corey Vidal had posted a new video. The video led me to some other sites and I figured there was enough material to warrant either a new post or an update. Since the post in question was already an update, I figure I would just expand it.

I added Corey's new video and a bit from the article. I saw a line in the article I wanted to emphasize, so I did. Then I wrote "(Emphasis mine)" at the bottom of the post.

Didn't look good there, moved it up to the "From the article:" line. But now I needed to un-capitalize the E in Emphasis. This was going to be my final change, then I could post it. Highlighted 'E'. Pressed 'e'.

...

Firefox freezes.... then crashes. Bam. All tabs gone, all update gone, everything gone.

I was pretty pissed. See, because this was an existing post and not a new one, I never got the "Draft autosaved at 3:49 AM" message next to the Save Now button. So, unlike a new post, it wouldn't be waiting for me when I restarted Firefox.

Restarted FF anyway, got up and paced and went for a cup of coffee while I fumed and composed a "Computers Suck" post in my head. Came back, FF was loaded with my saved tabs, and the last active tab selected. My "Create Post" tab. With my update still in it.

Wwwwwhat?

Did Firefox save it somehow? Was it Session Manager? Or did Blogger secretly save my post, but not as a regular draft?

Who knows? All I know is, computers rock! I love technology! ^_^