OK, in my defense, it was a Honey Baked Ham store. (Or, was it? I can't find it on their store locator. But anyway...)
The point is, I was rightly excited, and so my vigorous pointing and gesturing and jumping up and down was well within the norms for a ham-loving man.
And so was the left rotator cuff injury. Ah, the rotator cuff, one of the MOST EASILY INJURED parts of our intelligently designed bodies.
This was Saturday night. It was awesome.
Sunday morning, I felt fine. That is, until I went to grab a coffee cup from the cupboard. WOW was that awesome! I almost dropped the cup, that's how awesome it was.
He said take Tylenol for awesome and an NSAID for inflammation, put Voltaren gel (a topical NSAID) on it, hot/cold pads, and don't use it for 10 days. Fine.
Picked up the pills and hot/cold pads BUT couldn't find a shoulder immobilizer anywhere. Owls, Ben Franklin, Walmart, Bi-Mart, nothing. Walgreens supposedly has them, but there's no Walgreens in Cheney. :-/
But anyway. Had a real moment of awesome yesterday. I put the cold pack on my shoulder. Seemed fine. Then it slipped. I, instinctively, grabbed it. With my left (aka injured) arm.
It was blindingly awesome. o_O
I'm writing this on Tuesday night, three days after the injury. I'm still in a lot of awesome. Taking a shower is awesome. Doing the dishes is awesome. When enjoying Gentlemen's Entertainment, I usually delight sinisterly; that's now too awesome to be possible.
My point is, I'm having an awesome time.
Posts
What a ham-fisted thing to do!
ReplyDeleteOnce you're able to masturbate again, be sure not to do it so vigorously that you end up with a tender loin.
ReplyDeleteA rotator cuff injury? Do you call that a spiral cut?
ReplyDeleteHoney glazed. That's it, I think I'm out (for now). Did you at least buy a ham while you were there? Also, where is this dangerous shop of deliciousness?
ReplyDeleteWOW Thomas, I'm dying here (swine flu? No, doesn't fit). So many puns. I should have picked up pun-killers at the pharmacy. (meh)
ReplyDeleteThis was across from the Northtown Barns & Noble, and for some reason I can't find it on their store map. I wonder if it is new? They were already closed so no ham for me. That's right, all this awesome, and not even a ham to show for it.
I know the place you're talking about, and it is pretty new.
ReplyDeleteSwine flu! Man, I can't believe I missed such an obvious one.
H1Nerd1, in regards to the PAX pox this year.
ReplyDeleteI need to go back to that store and get me some ham! Are there any ham-worthy holidays coming up? Maybe for my birthday...