So, I'm at work right now. It's around 5:30pm. I just noticed a few minutes ago that I have a huge stain on the crotch of my slacks.
Ok, not directly on the crotch, but in the crotchal area. Well, by my right pocket. (Is that how you spell 'crotchal'?) Anyway.
I have to wonder, how long has it been there? Did I drop some food on my lap at lunch? Did I spill my coffee this morning? Or did it happen WEEKS AGO, and NO ONE HAS TOLD ME??
I only barely noticed today. To me, it's a slightly darker spot, and it's along a fold, so it's hard to spot (it looks a bit like I was hiding a piece of greasy bacon in my pocket, which I hope wasn't the case, because that would mean that the voices have come back). However, I have no doubt that a non-colorblind person could see it much easier than I.
I'm led to this conclusion by an incident that took place in my last class today. One of the girl students near the front row pointed at my crotch and laughed (well, no change there). Then she whispered something to her friend, who refused to look in my direction. So, apparently, everyone else could see it except for me. Like, the color red.
Speaking of red, do I turn red with embarrassment? This is not entirely off-topic, but since I can't see red, I can't really tell. In stories, they always describe being "hot with embarrassment", and I don't get that feeling. Is it euphemistic? Does "hot" refer to the color? I don't know. The next time you see me embarrassed, point it out to me so I know.
Anyway, now I'm wondering: How long can I continue to wear these slacks with this stain on them? They're fairly new; I can't afford to replace them so soon.
And for that matter, what other stains can I get away with? How many stains before someone says something? This is Japan; I can probably push the envelope pretty far. I've half a mind to go home and bust out the mustard and go to town, but I probably won't. At least, not until I can afford to buy new slacks. ^_^
RIP Lovely wife
3 months ago
Posts
Lisa Simpson: [writing] Dear log, can it be true? Does every Simpson go through a process of dumbening? Hey, that's not how you spell 'dumbening'. Wait a minute… 'dumbening' isn't even a word!
ReplyDeleteDo you ever get embarrassed? I'm trying to remember a single time when- Oh wait, I just remembered in Penthouse Live when you were playing truth or dare...
When you do get new slacks, I think you should do one of those "internet-science" studies. It could be really funny. In the mean time, you should probably figure out how to get rid of the stain.
Was I embarrassed on Penthouse? Now I'll have to dig out the DVD... and find someone who can see red to watch it with me. ^_^
ReplyDelete"Internet-science" studies? What's that?
"One of the girl students near the front row pointed at my crotch and laughed"
ReplyDeleteROFL!
>>How long can I continue to wear these slacks with this stain on them? They're fairly new; I can't afford to replace them so soon.<<
Wait, is there a reason why you can't get the pants dry cleaned?
Because....that didn't occur to me. :-/ "139? Ha! As if."
ReplyDeleteYou know, one of those goofy, pseudo-scientific studies where you have a funny hyopthesis and record your humorous results, then present it all as though it's a serious (if sarcastic) scientific study.
ReplyDelete*nod nod*
ReplyDeleteI see, I see.
We could go multi-variable. Different color stains, different distances from the crotch...
Of course, I'd need to find someone to go out in public with me, to help gauge the reactions. I think K would be too embarrassed. I know she doesn't like it when I wear my glasses, so I'm not too sure on how keen she would be for this. ^_^
What? Your glasses look fine on you. She's nuts.
ReplyDeleteOh, don't get me started. @_@
ReplyDelete