Moustachio

Ah, makes me miss my mustache.
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Bo Henry, art director, Coraline.

I don't have to explain Coraline, right? Directed by Henry Selick, written by Neil Gaiman, right? You all read Neil's blog? Good.

Six days left...

The Java Mystery

Recently, my computer has been calling out to IP address 64.244.174.206. What is 64.244.174.206? I have NO IDEA.

Even better, it's a Java.exe process that is doing the calling. But, that can be ANY Java program. What could it be? I didn't want to give Java free reign to run over my firewall, but maybe this was an important process?

In comes Process Explorer, a SysInternals program now available through MicroSoft (which has devoured SysInternals). This will tell me what the parent program is.

So who is the culprit? None other than Digsby, my all-in-one chat app. But what the hell is Digsby doing calling Java programs to call seemingly random IPs?

It turns out, they are experimenting with distributed computing (like the Folding@Home project). Except they forgot the part where they ask your permission first.

The official solution is simple! Just open Digsby, go to Help -> Support Digsby, find the Help Digsby conduct research option and click disable. Intuitive!

Yeah, the average user is going to figure that out. There's nothing in the TOS or FAQ about it. They are just secretly using your computer cycles for their own gain, without asking you if you're cool with that.

Dirty pool, Digsby.

This Is How I'm Dumb

I had a brilliant idea: I'll get my laundry going and then take a shower. That way, the time I spend waiting for my laundry to finish and the time I spend in the shower will overlap. I'm a genius!

So I got my laundry going, and I'm about to get in the shower.

Guess where all my towels are?

Bye-Bye Moosebutter *UPDATED*

I've been meaning to post about this since mid-December, but then it was too late, but then again recent developments have brought it up again.

It's about the John Williams video...

Originally, I was going to write about how it WASN'T sung by Corey Vidal.

Corey is lip-synching to the 2002 studio recording of moosebutter. It was recorded at June Audio, Provo, UT. Corey filmed his video in his kitchen.

He was lip-synching? Well, that explains why he's not wearing headphones. Still, very convincing. I found out that it wasn't his voice when he updated the description of the video (so it wasn't like he was trying to be sneaky about it). This was around the time it was nominated for a People's Choice award.

Anyway, never got around to posting that, and the PCA have come and gone (Barack Roll won), and NOW (Jan 18th) the videos have been removed from YouTube by Warner Music Group. The entire ApprenticeA account (Corey) has been suspended.

Corey Vidal and our Star Wars videos were taken down by Warner Music Company, or Warner Brothers, or Warner INC ... all we know is, Warner has gotten picky about 'their' content on youtube, and even though there are a dozen other videos on youtube with our Star Wars song, and hundreds of videos that illegally rip footage from Harry Potter DVDs, and fake Batman trailers and etc etc etc Warner has been kind enough to target our stuff.

This means one thing: we've finally hit the big time! Maybe.

Wait, WHAT? How is it POSSIBLY a copyright violation? Parody is explicitly allowed as fair-use (one of the very few things that are actually spelled out).

My bullshitometer just exploded.

UPDATE: ApprenticeA is Back.

BIGGER UPDATE:
OK, so after this posted (which means most people won't come back and read this, but whatever), Cory posted a new video. The two important things from the video are:

1. There is a pretty high quality (better than YouTube) upload of the video over on Cory's Facebook page.
2. There is an important article on what's been happening, over at cnet. Go there and Digg it.

From the article (emphasis mine):

On YouTube, Vidal posted a humorous video tribute to John Williams, the man who scored the soundtracks for such blockbuster films as Indiana Jones, and Star Wars. In his clip he included some of Williams' music. By now, everybody knows that YouTube removes videos that violate copyright law. What's different about Vidal's work getting pulled is that when he posted it in October, he was permitted to use Warner's music.

Until last month, YouTube had an agreement with Warner Music--one of the four largest recording companies--that allowed video creators to include the label's content in their clips. Last month, talks to renew the deal broke down and that means YouTube and its users no longer have access to Warner's library. For this reason, the case is much different than YouTube's high-profile fight with Viacom or run-of-the-mill piracy that once flourished on the site.

I did not know that.

I Accidentally The Whole Template

I just wanted to update my picture
oh god how did this get here
I am not good with computer

Her Morning Elegance

Some stop-motion for Thomas.
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To NSFW Or Not

I saw an amusing video about how to become a porn star. Lots of, er, "tongue" in "cheek" humor.

But definitely not safe for work. Or minors. So, do I post it or not?

Hmm....

(link removed)

Yeah, was originally going to post it, decided against it at the last minute (less than 12 hours before it will post).

Sorry fellas.

Wednesday's Foreign Commercial

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I know kung fu.

Wait, don't I already have a post for today? Yeah, forward posting has a lot of drawbacks. A major one being: I was forward posting everything, and some things (like random videos) aren't really .... substantial. Almost content-free posts.

So they'll be posted roughly same-day, but after the daily post (so, 9am or later). So yes, this is still forward posted from even earlier today. ^_^

So.

(That being said, there are still several weeks of posts in the queue, so some days will just be a random video. Sorry.)

Bad Sci-Fi Warning

So, one of my classmates recently alerted me to a sale going on. Apparently, there is this robot toy. It's a scaled down version of a robot developed for the military by a defense department subcontractor. There's just one, and it is heavily discounted for some reason.

WHERE have I heard this premise before? Oh, right, EVERY HORROR-SCI-FI MOVIE EVER.

Update: Apparently, the robot is named SENTINEL. Duh duh DUH!

Opera of Khan *UPDATED*

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WHEN did this Robot Chicken episode air? How could I have possibly missed it?

Update: Original sauce. Hmm, seemed bigger on the site.

Action-Star Obama

(Well, more action-FIGURE Obama.)
Via

The originating site has taken the page down, but the dolls action figures can still be found here. On sale for 8,072円* right now, but the sword and gun accessories are not included. It's a damn shame. You know, now that I think about it, I would totally watch an Obama Action-Movie. It would be so random!

*Holy crap, the dollar has dropped that much against the yen?!

Tuesday's Groggy News

I was woken up by the sound of someone banging on my door. It was 10am.

I went to the door, and no one was there. I poked my head out and saw a UPS guy downstairs knocking on another door. A UPS guy? On Sunday? Odd.

"Hello?" I called, wondering if I had a package, and if so from whom? I hadn't ordered anything that I could remember.

He came up and told me the package was for my neighbor (ah, well) and asked me if I could take it until she got home from work. (Work? On Sunday? Odd)

I said sure, since hey, it's my day off and I'm going to be here all day anyway. Signed for it and he left.

Around this time I realized that it was TUESDAY*, and I have to leave for work myself.

Doh.

*Until last night, I had been up since Saturday. So...

Tuesday's Feeling Old News

There are people who were born in 1990 that are 18 now.

Japanese Beat Doll Revisited

OK, we all remember the Japanese Beat Doll video, yes? Click here to see it




Well, now there's TOFU
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Good News, Everone!

From Digg.

I almost never post Digg stuff here. If you want to see Digg stuff, go read Digg.

....But this was excellent. ^_^

Phoenix Watches a Lot of Commercials

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I like the idea, but am I the only one that thinks it's a bit long? And too many short clips of songs. I'd prefer fewer songs with more to them.

This is what happens when multinational corporations undertake expensive productions without checking with me first.

(Also, spoiler in thumbnail AGAIN. I really wish people would take the time to set their thumbnail properly [eg, earlier in the video])

How I Spent My Morning

I woke up too early this morning, and there was nothing on TV yet. So I started playing a computer game (S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - Shadow of Chernobyl).

And in the game, I fell down a hole.

Now, looking back, I think the fall was supposed to kill my character, but for some reason it didn't. But I was stuck at the bottom of the pit.

Now, this sucked, because I hadn't saved for like an hour. So I was going to have to replay that whole hour unless I figured out a way to get out of the hole. With MOST games, there is a noclip code that will allow you to walk through walls. I looked and looked online, no noclip code for this game.

Then I found a cheat that would put me 200 ft up in the air (which would get me out of the hole), but it didn't work for my version.

Bear in mind, this is the result of lots and LOTS of web searching and scouring. But no luck. I spent about TWO HOURS trying to get out of the hole. It would have been MUCH FASTER to go back and play from that last save.

Which I will still have to do because I'm STILL STUCK IN THE HOLE!

So that's how my morning went.

Cadbury Commercials

I saw this video just now:
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It's by the same people that did the Trucks** video and the Gorilla playing the drums* video; all three are commercials for Cadbury.

*Have you seen this remix?

**UPDATE: Also a "remix" (more of just a music swap) for Trucks***.

Both of these updated commercials have played officially on TV.

***UPDATE III: There's also apparently one with Final Countdown. Is there anyone who can hear that song now and not think of Arrested Development? There's even a stair-car!

I don't know why, but commercials with music just really do it for me. Like mini music videos. (Also, it helps that the Cadbury commercials are so completely random).

The people that made this have an interesting Myst-like site. What is the mystery word? How far can you jump? Why is Phoenix so very easily amused? The world may never know.

UPDATE II: Saw the following comment on the eyebrows commercial:

12. Troy - January 24, 2009 9:41 PM
Where the f*** did she get a baloon?! SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT HERE.

Hard Drive Rules

Rule#1 - Always back up!
Rule#2 - Always back up! (This is a backup to Rule#1)

Goodbye, Google Services

Google is closing down some of its many services, including Google Video and Google Notebook.

Now, I use Notebook ALL THE TIME, so I panicked until I read that the service itself will continue to function (just development is shutting down).

Google Video is another disappointing closure, as it has been host to a number of longer-running documentaries and shows. Will YouTube be an adequate replacement? We'll see.

No word on another Google Service that I use DAILY, GrandCentral.

Amanda Has Not Seen Star Wars

Here's what she THINKS happens.
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Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Another Awesome Commercial

Now, you guys already know what kind of commercials I like... ^_^
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Tuesday's West Wing Post

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(OK, yes, no actual post. Also, spoiler in preview.)

I Miss Ze

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Bacon

One of my vegetarian friends sent me this video:
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Foreward Posting

So, perhaps everyone has spotted it by now, but I'm not necessarily posting the same day I write something. That is, I'm writing this on Wednesday. Is today Wednesday? No, it is not. (Well, YES, it is right now when I'm writing this, but it won't be by the time you read it)

When I have time to post, I used to post a bunch of stuff at once, and then nothing. The problem is that when there's TOO MUCH stuff, nobody reads it, and when there's nothing, there's nothing to read.

So, now I spread my posts out. My post on the 10th (about flight of the bumblebee) was written on the 3rd, I think. Originally I had planned for a bunch of other posts in between that were more important, but I didn't have time to write them up properly, so nothing got written. :-/

Anyway, it occurred to me today just how creepy it would be if something (science forbid) ever happened to me. For example, my birthday meme post has been written, but is scheduled for my birthday (in October). Now, if I *gulp* were to .... you know what? Let's just say I became a Luddite. So, no one would be expecting anything new on my blog, but every once in a long while... there would be a new post. Because I wrote it before .... becoming a Luddite.

So, there's that. Just... FYI and all.

Soy la _soy_.

I am soymilk. (Actually, yes, wouldn't it be estoy de leche de soja?) Anyway, this post is about soymilk.

Soymilk can replace regular milk in a lot of recipes.

Hamburger Helper is not one of them.

That is all.

You Shouldn't Use Dropbox

I signed up to the beta for Dropbox (a service that backs up and syncs all of your files in a certain folder over the Internet). Since I work on multiple computers, I thought it would be a handy tool.

And it WOULD BE, if the developers weren't so clueless.

For example, during installation in Windows, it will close ALL of your Explorer processes. Without warning.

I mean, I can understand that it has to close them to add itself. I get that. But the lack of warning is dumb (I lost a couple of deeply-nested folders this way).

But that's not the big one. The big one is when you set your Dropbox directory.

No matter what you specify, it will APPEND "My Dropbox" in Windows. Supposedly, this is to protect people from installing into their root directories (people are dumb), BUT it also won't allow you to install to ANY root directories, even on OTHER DRIVES/PARTITIONS. Which is to say, you can't even have F:/My Dropbox (also, appending a subdirectory with a *SPACE IN IT*?). So the best you could do would be F:/Dropbox/My Dropbox (which is a lot of header for the path of EVERY FILE in your Dropbox). It's dumb.

But even THAT'S not the REAL BIG ONE. The REAL big one is that it will append "Dropbox" in Linux! *NOT* "My Dropbox". So, if you dual-boot on your machine, you can't point both Dropbox directories to the same location! You're forced to sync EVERYTHING TWICE, in two different places, taking up twice the disk space. WAY DUMB.

The current official "solution" is to use an OLD version of Dropbox that isn't as retarded. Seriously, that's what they tell you to do. They've known about this problem since version 0.6.394 and now we're at 0.6.402 and it's STILL NOT FIXED (months have passed).

The Dropboxers just seem to have NO CLUE, which does not bode well for the tool. At this point in time, I have to recommend that people AVOID DROPBOX LIKE THE PLAGUE. It's definitely not ready for prime-time, and it is getting WORSE. I think I might have to close my account there, because it's getting to the point where I don't feel I can trust the people behind it (if they're THAT clueless).

It's enough to make me feel all RANTY RANT!

Your Fair Share

So, interesting bit of information (if it's true), there is about $140 trillion worth of combined assets on planet Earth. That's EVERYTHING.

Now, there are almost 6.8 Billion people on this planet (holy crap, remember when we hit 6 billion? Sure doesn't seem that long ago).

Anyway, $140 trillion divided by 6.8 billion people is roughly $20,000.00 per person.

So, if you have more* than $20k worth of assets (a car, a house, savings, belongings**, etc), then from a certain perspective, you technically have more than your "fair"*** share.

In case you were wondering. ^_^

*If you have less, of course, then you're not working hard enough.

**Hmm.... "belongings" or "possessions"? Different words, different connotations...

***Such an arbitrary value. To me, that's the opposite of fair.

Linux is Awesome

The above is true, and has been for a while, but I am always learning NEW WAYS in which Linux is Awesome.

For example, I'm currently installing Linux on my work computer. That is, THIS computer. I'm writing this in Linux WHILE LINUX IS INSTALLING.

Frankly, that's pretty fucking awesome.

Wednesday's Horrible News

Yes, yes, Joss Whedon said (again) recently that Dr. Horrible will be back. That's not the news.

The news is about the DVD.

It's only like $10*, and Commentary! The Musical! is worth the price of admission alone. I want MP3s of these songs (I've listened to the entire thing twice three times** already; they're just so random!). Lots of my kind of humor, and actual commentary stuff (like, did you know that Nathan Fillion was in Halo 3? Or how much the Horrible crew played Ninja Ropes Extreme? Nathan has the high score [119.7 yards])

There's also a separate ACTUAL commentary which is also interesting, plus making-of shorts and fan-made Evil League of Evil application videos.

It's been out on DVD for almost a month, so if you don't have your own copy by now, you're just an awful person. :-/ Why do you hate Joss? Is it because he always kills your favorite characters? Yeah, I hate that too, actually.***

*The price of a solo! (You'll get that joke later.)

**Dammit! Listened to it again accidentally while writing this post. :-/

***I am a leaf on the wind.

Tuesday's Missing Mug News

Hey Phoenix, why aren't you enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee?

I don't have my coffee mug.

Where's your coffee mug?

I don't know; it disappeared.

Did someone take it?

I don't know! Maybe? I looked everywhere.

Who would take a mug with your name on it from the community kitchen?

I DON'T KNOW!

I bet you're longing for some coffee though, am I right?

YES!

Thieves are awesome!

Tuesday's Changing-Weather News

Hey, Phoenix, enjoying the sunny weather?

GAAAAHHH!!

What's wrong? Does your hand hurt?

YAAAAAR!

Is it because your hand was broken and now it hurts whenever the weather changes even if it's a change for the better?

GAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

This beautiful day must be like TORTURE for you!

JUST KILL ME NOW!

Sorry, first law of robotics! ^_^

Tuesday's Rockin' News

Hey Phoenix, I heard that your neighbors have Rock Band.

They sure do!

But, can you hear it through your apartment walls?

You bet I can!

Even at night when you're trying to sleep?

Mostly then, yes!

Sweet!

SUPER sweet!

Thundercats Live-Action Movie Trailer

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Yes, it's fan-made. But there are a brazillion fan-made trailers out there and they all suck, which is why this one is unique.

The Lyrics to Flight of the Bumblebee

Many many moons ago, I watched this video called Paramount Comedy Theater (Vol. 1: Well-Developed). It was an old VHS tape that my friend Sean had.

In addition to introducing me to the blue side of Danny Tanner, there was a guy who came out and sang Flight of the Bumblebee.

Bruce Mahler was that guy.

It was great. Actually, his whole act was great, but Bumblebee stood out.

Every once in a while, I hop on the ol' Internets and search for the complete lyrics, or an MP3 or video of his performance. Seriously, that song has stuck in my head lo these many years.

The Paramount Comedy Theater never came to DVD, and there's no place to buy the old VHS version. And it's not on the Internet ANYWHERE.

If anyone ever finds it, please let me know.

Sung

Classes have started again, joy.

Yesterday, I met someone new. He introduced himself as Sung (pronounced sahng), and spelled his name out. One of my classmates said "Oh, like the past tense of sing."

To which Sung, the non-native-English-speaker, replied "Past participle."

Boy howdy am I easily amused. ^_^

Claiborne Pell

It was with a heavy heart that I read about the passing of Claiborne Pell, who died last Thursday after a lengthy battle against Parkinson's disease, at age 90.

A Rhode Island Senator, Pell was the father of the Pell Grant, and for this I will always be grateful. It was the Pell Grant that allowed me to go to college, get a degree, and travel outside the U.S.

Thank you, Senator Pell, for broadening my (and many others') horizons.

All The Who-ha

Nobody probably cares but me, but for anyone watching the New-Who, the 11th doctor has finally been revealed as: Matt Smith

I don't know about you, but when I saw him my first reaction was "What is he, twelve?" A bit young looking for a 900+ year old man, but we'll have to wait (until 2010) and see.

[Although, I guess he has worked with Pipes before, so he was only ever two steps from DT anyway]

Post #567, the Glorious Return

Phoenix is back in Cheney! Hey, welcome back! How do you feel?

COLD!

Thanks, Phoenix!

Snowmageddon

Just got this e-mail from my boss:

Fellas,

Due to the absurd amount of snow (National Guard is in Cheney helping to get rid of it), campus will be closed on Monday 1/5. We're tentatively opening on Tuesday 1/6. Be sure to call the snow line at 359-SNOW or check out the emergency Web site @ http://www.ewu.edu/x4801.xml on Monday to see if we'll be opening Tuesday. Stay safe and see you next week sometime.

J

It's no secret that the Spokane area has gone snow-crazy. Saw this on the national news:

Spokane finished December with 61.5 inches of snow, far eclipsing the previous one-month record of 56.9 inches set in January 1950. Snowfall records in the area have been kept since 1893.

We've gotten more snow in one month than we usually get ALL WINTER.

And finally, if you haven't seen them already, Tycho* has had a couple of great snow-related posts as of late:

First:

Spokane has many faults, chief among them that it is the source of all human woe - a cleft in the wounded crust of the world that grants Satan and his twisted lieutenants easy access. But one thing you do learn there, other than the ability to create a tourniquet from your own intestines, is now to drive properly in the snow. We're snowed in here in Seattle, and not because you couldn't get around out there, but because driving in the snow with Seattle natives is like NASCAR in slow motion. It's not worth exposing yourself to those people, so you stay home. Even the sidewalks aren't safe.

Second:

What I said about the residents of Seattle vis a vis snow was true, but shortly after I said it we received the kind of snow that one might be genuinely skeered of, especially in a town that owns no snowplows. We drove to Spokane after our flight and all others were cancelled, and things are an order of magnitude worse here. The snow is so high that there's no other interpretation: some god (or fraternity of gods) is trying to erase this wicked land.

Happy Everwinter**, everyone.

*Tycho is great, and I am jealous of his way with words.

**Tycho again.

Happy New Year!

From The Doozies
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In an unrelated note, YouTube lets you choose the size of the embedded video now. Here is the interface:

If you're not colorblind, you won't see (haha!) the problem. Unfortunately, I AM colorblind, and all these look pretty much the same. I get it YouTube, you hate the colorblind. I get it. All the time. :'-(

Dreams (Geeky Comic)

Sadly, I really identify with this one. :-/

Merry Christmas!

A great Basic Instructions repeat, but the best part about it is the comments. A number of people complained that his wife looked too much like a lesbian (because of her short hair?), so in a subsequent comic, he replaced her with Portia de Rossi*, the gorgeous actress that has appeared in Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, and wife of Ellen DeGeneres.

*In looking for this link, I found nude pictures of Portia. Man I love the Internet!

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 4)

(Continued from Chapter Three)

Andy responded again:

Hi Phoenix,
My point was that we get our descriptions from the manufacturer's website, hence the mix of information on our website. This was a mixup on the listing, not an intentional effort to dupe you into buying something and shipping you another.

This is not the first time that Andy has blamed "the manufacturer".

Here's the problem with that: I did some searching, and FOUND the actual product that the fake description came from, the Multisports CC-755R. But... Multisports and Stamina are DIFFERENT MANUFACTURERS. The only common link they have in this mess is FITNESS DIRECT.

So, which manufacturer was it, Andy? Because there are TWO.

I have actually been out of the office with my family for the last 2 days and came back this morning to an inbox full of messages, one of which was Mark's message that you called.

That's all VERY RELEVANT. You've been out of the office with your family for the last 2 days? Oh, well then, forget the whole fraud thing you pulled on me.

I really had no idea about the error in information on the listing until after I sent you the email.

Even though you were specifically told to check the website first. Got it.

Once I discovered the error, I had my web guy get it corrected so we did'nt have more disappointed customer's like you.

It's GOOD that you took down the fake description, but you failed to inform me that you had discovered the error. (Notice how I resist mentioning the use of apostrophes? You have no idea how much willpower this is taking)

However, like I mentioned in the email, we have no problem bringing back the bike seeing the errors on the listing. I think you would agree that if we were purposely trying to mislead, we would'nt be so forthright in trying to correct the error. We have employees adding new products everyday, so unfortunately these things do happen.

Yes, claiming to have no idea why I was having a problem was very forthright. Blaming the "manufacturer" is very forthright. Blaming your employees is very forthright.

Oh, wait, what's the opposite of forthright again?

I definitely apologize for the error and the inconvenience, but I don't like to be accused of doing something illegal, when that was just not the case.

Deceit and Fraud are very clearly defined in California. Perhaps I should forward you the pages I found regarding this?

You can search the web and you will find nothing but positive comments about our company and that is something of which I take great pride.

Well, maybe this small blog post will get indexed some day, and then some future customer won't have to deal with this whole headache like I did. Speaking of which, iFitnessDirect and eFitnessDirect are the same company. Just so you know, Internet.

I'll issue the Fedex call-tag ASAP and confirm the pick-up with you. Typically, the box can just be left on your porch and they will bring the label and make the pick-up.

Regards,
Andy

I...what? The box? Apparently Andy has missed the part in my previous correspondence where I asked him to make arrangements to pick up the FULLY ASSEMBLED bike, as per my credit card company's instructions.

Anyway, this wasn't my actual response (I think I was more polite in the real e-mail, although I did request that Andy not be the one to contact me anymore), but this whole handling of the situation makes my blood boil.

Just OWN UP TO THE ERROR! Say "Hey, we fucked up! How can we make it right?" Don't feign ignorance. Don't blame the "manufacturer". Don't blame your employees. Don't blame spending time with your family. Don't ignore what I tell you. Andy has taken this small error and compounded it with deceit and incompetence. I'm beginning to believe that he is INCAPABLE of being honest.

To be continued...?

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 3)

(Continued from Chapter Two)

I then received an e-mail from Andy Grenz (the e-commerce manager), which stated (in full, direct copy-pasta):

Hi Phoenix,
Thanks again for your purchase. What are you finding to be different about the bike than the listing? YThis is a new product and I think the manufacturer has mixed up the details on a few of their models. They have this unit at $299, the 7200 at $399 and the 7300 at $499.

Just let me know if you would like to return the unit, let me know when you have it back in the box and I'll send Fedex out to get it.

Sorry for the mixup.
Regards,
Andy

What did I find to be different about the bike than the listing? Did he even CHECK the listing?

Andy helpfully included the e-mail to him from Mark Goodman (president, and I think the guy I spoke with on the phone):

From: Mark Goodman
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 12:34 PM
To: 'Andy Grenz'
Subject: Pls contact this guy ASAP
Importance: High

Stamina Fusion 7100 bike - problems....
He says it is different to what is described on website !!
Please double-check the website before you contact him.

How could he have checked the listing and not noticed what was wrong? I went back to the product page...

HE HAD CHANGED IT.

He removed the fake description and put in the real one (still with minor errors, I see). Then he pretended that nothing was wrong.

Can I borrow your phone? I need to call BULLSHIT.

I also needed to call my credit card company, which I did. I let them know everything that happened. Well, in order to do a chargeback, they normally need me to send the product back to the seller. HOWEVER, because the product is so large in this case (and not at all easily disassembled), and because the seller sold it to me under false pretenses, I only have to allow them to make arrangements to pick up the fully-assembled bike. I let Andy know all of this.

But now, it has gone from a simple mistake on a web page (which was still constructive fraud since they profited from their error), to a cover-up. Andy changed the web page and then pretended to be unable to find the error. Now, he *CLAIMS* that he wrote that e-mail to me BEFORE he saw the web page (despite being specifically told to look at the page FIRST), but if so, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME WHAT HE FOUND? If he found out later, and still failed to follow up with me, the effect is the same: suppression of the truth (aka, actual fraud).

That's right, Andy tried to fix his constructive fraud with ACTUAL FRAUD.

At this point, I feel obligated to report this to the appropriate authorities.

Continueto Chapter Four: The Excuses...

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 2)

(Continued from Chapter One)

It arrived a few days ago, and I excitedly set about assembling it. ^_^

You know that saying, about how, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is? Yeah.

The Stamina Magnetic Fusion 7100 is a piece of shit. A piece of poorly constructed shit that I could have gotten from Walmart for $100 less.

The ACTUAL features the bike came with didn't even remotely come close to the promised features on the web page.

Claim:	Fact:	True?
* Wireless and contact pulse rate	No Wireless	No
* Self-powered generator system	4 AA batteries	No
* Super smooth dual poly V-belt technology	Nope	No
* Extra large seat with high density contoured pads and lumbar support	Small seat, low density padding, not contoured, no lumbar support.	No
* Aluminum rail for precision and smoothness, 24 positions	9 positions.	No
* Side and front handlebars	TRUE!	Yes
* Self balancing pedals with wide, adjustable straps	Straps that snap on and don't come off.	No
* Front transport wheels	Single wheel.	No
* 350 lbs Maximum user weight	300 lbs, according to the manual.	No
* Workout Programs: Pre-Set Programs	TRUE!	Yes
* Accessibility: Walk Through Design	TRUE!	Yes
* Maximum User Weight: 350.00 lbs	Still 300 lbs, no matter how many times they say otherwise.	No
* Power Requirement: Self generated power	Take self to store, self purchase 4 AA batteries.	No
* Dimensions: 65" x 24" x 48"	Maybe?	Yes?
* Large LCD Window	Tiny LCD window	No
* Console Feedback: Time, Speed, Distance, Heart Rate, Calories, Watt, RPM	Yes for time, speed, distance, heart rate, calories. NO for watt, RPM.	No
* Programming: Manual, 12 Pre-Set Programs, Target Program Setting: Time, Distance, or Calories, Target HR Program, 16 levels of Resistance	SIX (6!) pre-set programs. No target programs for time, distance, or calories. NO TARGET HR PROGRAM. 8 levels of resistance.	No
* Frame: 10 Years	Frame: 5 Years	No
* Parts: 1 Year	Parts: 90 days!	No

It was still during Fitness Direct's posted business hours, so I called them right up, but there was no answer.

I called again the following day, and when I did finally get through, the man I spoke to wouldn't talk about the bike at all, but he did take down my contact information and promised that someone would get hold of me soon.

Continue to Chapter Three: The Response...

The Fitness Direct Fiasco (Ch 1)

The term is over, and now I have free time to post again. ^_^

I've been wanting a recumbent exercise bike since I moved into my new apartment (I don't live within walking distance of the gym anymore). They are quite pricey, however, especially if you want any special features.

The killer feature I wanted was a target-heart-rate setting. That's pretty much the only setting I use on the bikes at the gym anyway. But, the lower-price bikes don't seem to have it, even if they have heart-rate monitors.

So, I couldn't find one locally in my budget range. I had looked into buying one online, but the shipping costs were a deal breaker.

Then I found iFitnessDirect. Free shipping to anywhere in the US? I'm sold! (Also based in a different state so no taxes [at time of purchase], and they had a discount code that knocked another $15 off)

On their site, I found the Stamina Magnetic Fusion 7100. The features list was incredible!

FEATURES:

• Wireless and contact pulse rate
• Self-powered generator system
• Super smooth dual poly V-belt technology
• Extra large seat with high density contoured pads and lumbar support
• Aluminum rail for precision and smoothness, 24 positions
• Side and front handlebars
• Self balancing pedals with wide, adjustable straps
• Front transport wheels
• 350 lbs Maximum user weight
• Workout Programs: Pre-Set Programs
• Accessibility: Walk Through Design
• Maximum User Weight: 350.00 lbs
• Power Requirement: Self generated power
• Dimensions: 65" x 24" x 48"

Console:

• Large LCD Window
• Console Feedback: Time, Speed, Distance, Heart Rate, Calories, Watt, RPM
• Programming: Manual, 12 Pre-Set Programs, Target Program Setting: Time, Distance, or Calories, Target HR Program, 16 levels of Resistance

WARRANTY:

• Frame: 10 Years
• Parts: 1 Year

All for under $300! I placed my order.

Continue to Chapter Two: The Bike Arrives...

I Hate Computers

So I had downloaded a rather large iso file I need for the project that is due today in (looks at clock) less than 8 hours. 8 hours? F#(%.

The reason I needed to reboot (in the previous post) was because I was having some difficulties with Daemon Tools. It took several reboots and several tool downloads (and several hours, since that post was three hours ago), and eventually I just scrapped it in favor of the free MagicDisk from MagicISO. Reboot, reboot, reboot...

Finally, it was up and running, and it was at THIS point that I discovered that the corrupted Daemon Tools installation had WIPED OUT THE ISO. Just wrote over it. It's gone. 3.3GB that I get to download AGAIN.

3.3GB!

So angry right now...

Download will take another two hours. Which will leave me with just 6 hours to get it installed and make the things I need for the project. Awesome.

...and THAT is why you don't put things off until the last minute. (Also, don't use Daemon Tools)

Shooting My Canon

I've been wanting an HV30 camcorder for a while now, and even ordered it at one point. Unfortunately for me, I ordered it through a bait-and-switch company, so I didn't get it.

Well, recently a "Cyber Monday" deal brought the price down to $550. Cheap! Even the bait-and-switch price had been higher than that. Plus a Live Search cashback offer would give me back another 2%. And no taxes. And free shipping.

Additionally, I had recently discovered some things about my credit cards. For example, my MasterCards added extended warranties to my purchases automatically (Visa requires you to register your purchases with them, and only if your service agency covers it). So it would double the 1-year warranty on the HV30 at no cost to me. ALSO one of my MasterCards has a 6% interest. 6%! (Not that I often carry a balance, but still) [This is my new primary card.]

It was time to buy.

In addition to the HV30, I added a Canon DM-50 directional microphone and a Modo Steady 585 camera support, all at B&H Photo-Video, all with 2% cashback.

The only thing left to do was log in to my credit card site, make sure all of my information was up to date, and link it to my checking account (I don't like to make purchases unless I know for sure how it's going to be paid for). Ideally, there will also be an auto-pay option that I can set up so I never ever miss a payment.

Let's see, click login, put in my info, hit enter...

System Unavailable

The system is currently unavailable. Please contact customer service.

Huh. That's weird. Try again....

System Unavailable

The system is currently unavailable. Please contact customer service.

Hmm. :-( That's not good. I want to buy this camera (who knows how long this deal will last?) but I won't do it until I link my credit card account with my bank account. I can't.

So, I wait a few hours and try again and

System Unavailable

The system is currently unavailable. Please contact customer service.

Grr. A few hours later, the same thing. Late into the evening/early morning, the same thing.

Frustrated, I go to bed.

When I awoke, I immediately panicked. Was the sale over? Rushing to the computer I found, no, it was still the same price. Hey, maybe this is just the new price? It is December, after all. The new HV model should drop next month, with even BETTER features (but a higher price tag). And they're probably clearing out stock before the end of the fiscal year. I relaxed, logged in to my credit account and

System Unavailable

The system is currently unavailable. Please contact customer service.

DAMMIT! Why is this happening? I can't link my credit card to my checking accout via customer service.

So I forget about it and go back to work. It's final-projects week (I'm waiting for a download to finish so I can reboot, which is why I'm writing this instead of working on that right now). Many hours later, I needed to wait for a download to finish so I could reboot (hey!) and with nothing else to do, I tried (again) to log in to my credit card account and HEY! IT WORKED! Hooray!

Time to checkout!

Oh, it's after midnight and the sale is over. The HV30 went up $40.

And there is no auto-pay.

:-(

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal REVISITED

Hey, remember when I said "If you have a webcomic, please, put Oh No Robot in your template"? Well, you should since it was only a few days ago!

Well, he DID. (Below the comic, the Dec. 2nd news)

It's like I'm some sort of god...

A Warning RE: Emergency Credit Cards

If you're like me, you have an emergency, last-resort, not-for-use credit card reserved in case you really, really need it. Right?

Maybe not.

I just found out that my emergency, last-resort, not-for-use credit card account was closed. For inactivity.

No notification. No warning. Apparently, they're sending me notification as we speak, but I found out when I logged in to my attached bank account.

So, my total credit line is now ~$10,000 shorter than it was before (though, this could explain why my credit score went back up to 800 recently).

Anyway, the point is, if you DO have an emergency, last-resort, not-for-use credit card, you better actually use it every now and again.

UPDATE(s):

I'm going through my credit cards and updating the addresses to my new apartment. I'm discovering even MORE closed accounts.

Credit line is now ~$12,000 shorter.
Credit line is now ~$20,000 shorter.
Credit line is now ~$23,000 shorter.
Credit line is now ~$??? shorter - I found two more closed accounts, but their customer service isn't open 24/7, so I have to wait until morning to find out what their credit limits were. I will also likely close another account (only $500 limit @ 21.19%! For comparison, my daily-use card is @ 6.09%).

On a related note, that previous trick for making free calls has been *VERY* useful. I can't call out from my home phone (not even 800 numbers), but I can receive calls... ^_^ There's no way I could have afforded paying for all these calls with my cell.

How to make free long-distance calls UPDATED (AGAIN)

In a semi-continuation of my previous post, how to score all the free Starbucks coffee you want, now I'll tell you how to make all the free long-distance calls you want.

To be absolutely zero cost, you'll need three things for this:

1. A phone line from which you can receive incoming calls for free
2. A computer connected to the Internet
3. A Grandcentral account

It may be difficult to get a zero-cost phone line, but perhaps you already have one and don't realize it. Have a phone at work? That'll do. Have pure-Internet DSL? You might have a phone line attached to it. I can't make long-distance calls from either my home or work phones, not directly, but I CAN receive incoming calls, which is the important thing.

Second is an Internet connection you can access, which again isn't free. Although, I do have a free connection at work, and there are a number of open Wi-Fi access points around my apartment. Since you're not going to be browsing around the web or downloading anything, it shouldn't be too terrible to jump on someone else's connection for just a moment. Dial-up is right out, though, since you need that phone line to be open (unless you have two+ phone lines, in which case it's fine).

The most difficult of the three to get will be the Grandcentral account. Grandcentral is a fantastic service that is currently free (although they have stated that some features may become for-fee once it leaves beta, but now that Google owns them...).

So, if you don't already have a Grandcentral number (and why not?), head on over to grandcentral.com and reserve one. You'll have to spend some time on the waiting list, but you should get through eventually. Then come back here.

Got one? OK, the feature you're going to use is called Click2Call. From your call log, or messages tab, or address book, you'll be able to see CALL buttons next to the phone numbers of your contacts. Click that, and you'll get a prompt with your phone numbers on it.

Pick a phone number, Grandcentral will call you, and when you pick up it will call your contact.

Even if that is a non-local number.

On George's suggestion, I googled a restaurant in Toronto, Canada, and tried the same trick with them. I got through, no problem. So, technically, this is a way to make free international long distance calls too. However, when I tried a number in Japan, it didn't work, so you're limited to the US and Canada. Still, more than worth the price of admission ($zero).

UPDATE:

Having had to recently make a brazillion calls this way, I found a much easier method. Previously, I was editing an account to point to the number I wanted to call, then calling it. But you have to edit the account again FOR EVERY NUMBER. When you must make many such calls, it quickly becomes a pain in the ass.

SO! Now I call myself.
I select my own address book entry, call my home phone, and input the number I want to call as the temporary number I'm calling from.

Now, if I were to try to do this when calling an actual person, it would be a bit strange. Their phone would ring, it would pick up, they'd hear my phone ring, then I'd pick up. But, since I'm calling automated systems, it's no problem. Although, I DO miss the first part of the menu sometimes.

OH! I just thought of a wonderful terrible prank. ^_^ Obviously, it starts with picking two random numbers from the phone book...

Hello, clever people. So, pick two random phone numbers. Put one in your address book, and call it.... from the other (temporary number). These people are going to have no idea what's going on. Guy A picks up his phone, it then calls another person (Girl 1), who wants to know why Guy A is calling. Guy A is very confused; someone called HIM! Argument ensues. Give them a minute or so, then do it again. And then again. That's the mean part. Here's the EVIL part: Switch the numbers. Now Girl 1 is calling Guy A. Even GREATER confusion ensues. And now here's the drawback: Each person will be getting YOUR number on their caller ID, so you're not going to be too hard to track down. ^_^

Update Again:
Now that GrandCentral is Google Voice, they took this little trick and put it right on the front page, with a simple button to press. They even tell you about it in the FAQ. So much for trickery, eh? (There's also super-cheap international calling. 2 cents/minute to Japan? Really?*)

[*Update again, again: No, not really. Japan is up to 3 cents/minute, and Canada is no longer free it's now 1 cent/minute. Darn economy!]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

I have to admit, I'm a fan. SMBC (by Zach Weiner) is one of the funniest webcomics I've seen, and it's updated so frequently! Unlike some comics. (PBF, I'm looking at you)

(Remember to hover over the red dot for a bonus votey-comic)

Pickup Lines that don't work
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=659#comic
(There are a lot of these, but there's no text index so I couldn't find the others. If you have a webcomic, please, put Oh No Robot in your template.)

As a former English teacher, I identified with these
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=709#comic
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1079#comic

As a computer scientist, I identified with this one
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1169#comic

As a person with both a penis and an Internet connection, I identified with this one
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1187#comic

For George
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=769#comic

About religion
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=54#comic
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=390#comic

About MY religion
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=798#comic
(scroll down to see the future of creationism vs evolution)

Whenever I see these, I think of my vegetarian friends
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=366#comic
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=424#comic
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=869#comic

You can't argue with math
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1023#comic

Also, here is Zach (on the left) with Marty, demonstrating Marty's newest magic trick for the iPhone.
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(also, YouTube has widescreen now?)

As You Wish

This comic made me feel old.

(Also, 222 more posts until the jackpot)

Downloading Often Is Terrible

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This has been up for almost a month, and I'm just hearing about it now?

I Hate Stupid People

So, this great site called "Let me google that for you" showed up on Digg. I *LOVE* this site. You can get a URL that will take someone to an animated page where it types in their query and presses submit and sends them to the Google search results. Fantastic!

Then, in the comments, someone suggested this link. It's a LMGTFY link that takes them to the JFGI site. JFGI is another great site for people tired of asking them questions they could be asking Google. Brilliant!

But the long URL gives it away, so I wanted to make a TinyURL. A handy new feature of TinyURL is that you can specify the codeword in the link. So, instead of http://tinyurl.com/6p8z8q I could have something like http://tinyurl.com/lmgtfy EXCEPT I CAN'T.

Someone (quazerjim) took that URL already. It looks like they wanted it to be a recursive call to LMGTFY. But they failed, oh so miserably.

FIRST of all, Google doesn't index redirects. SO, it was never going to work anyway.

SECOND, they didn't type in the query correctly! Did they even TRY? CHECK YOUR LINKS, PEOPLE!

lmgfty was taken, jfgi was taken... Sheesh.

I did manage to get a SnipURL though:
http://snipr.com/lmgtfy
Should be easy enough to remember, if you ever need it.

Grad School II

How to tell when you're ready for Grad school: When you realize that you've had all the sleep you're ever going to want to have.

How to get free Starbucks drinks

Short version:

1. Buy a Gold card and a drink. Pay $25.
2. Return Gold card. Get $25.
3. Go to step 1.
   

Long version:
Starbucks has a new Gold card. It costs $25, and you get 10% off your drinks for a year (and some other benefits, like access to the wifi). Also, you get a free drink when you buy it.

Most importantly, you have 30 days to return it if you change your mind.

I know this, because I thought that the Gold cards were like the regular Starbucks cards, where you pay $25, and you have a $25 credit on the card. Well, that's not the case. When I found that out, I returned my Gold card, but they of course did not charge me for the drink they gave me when I got it. So, free Starbucks. ^_^

Offer good while supplies last, or until they close this loophole.

Peta

I'm offended by Peta, so I don't talk about them much. But recently this comment by RogerStrong showed up on Digg.

I have a personal theory that PETA is run by the meat industry.

An ad campaign a few years ago demeaned murdered women in B.C. A PETA billboard in Boston compared the suffering of cattle to that of Jews in Nazi Germany. They tried to put up a billboard in Santa Fe featuring a pig with the caption: "He Died for Your Sins."

A popular and respected animal rights movement would lead to higher and more expensive standards for raising farm animals. To prevent this, they've created an organization with so much disgraceful publicity that the term "animal rights group" becomes synonymous with "a bunch of wingnuts."

PETA repeatedly attacks groups like the March of Dimes, the Pediatric AIDS Foundation, and the American Cancer Society for conducting animal testing to find cures for birth defects and life-threatening diseases. They've urged Yasser Arafat to spare animals in suicide bombings, with no concern for the humans who were being killed.

This keeps rational people away from the animal rights cause. If PETA didn't exist, the beef and pork industries would be smart to create an organization just like them.

3rd Cutest

My Internet travels have lead me to the third* cutest kid on the planet (and possibly a future dictator):
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*The first being my nephew and the second being Capucine**

**Via Thomas' site.

Ben takes a photo of himself everyday

'A take-off on the recent "____ takes a picture of ___self for __years" trend.' Of the bunch, this one is my favorite, for reasons that become obvious when you watch it. I can't believe I haven't posted this already.
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Bouncy

Science Bless the Internet and all who dwell within the Internet.

Topless Wii is probably NSFW.

If it IS SFW where you work, I want to work there.

John Williams Tribute

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Pretty much the coolest thing I've seen all day.

Update: GONE. See it on Corey's Facebook page.

Election Night

Just saw this on MSN.com:


I'm as pro-Obama as the next guy, but I'm not sure what criteria they're using to say that his 46% beats McCain's 52% for Michigan.

Grad School

Wazzup?

Remember this?
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Looks like they got the band back together, and made one of the best ads ever. ^_^
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Full Moon

October 14th, 2008. The anniversary of my (and siblings) birth, and a full moon. Glorious. ^_^

Happy 238^th Corben.

Ass Repair Tool

lol

Keepon

It's really quite hypnotic...
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It's actually a research project by Marek P. Michalowski, a Ph.D. student in the Robotics Institute at Carnegie Mellon, and Hideki Kozima, a senior research scientist at the National Institute of Information and Communications Technology (NICT), Japan.

I wants one.

Duck Tales Inflation Lesson

An episode of Duck Tales dealing with the negative consequences of inflation.
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Comment from Digg:

It seems insane that even a kids show shows what will happen if we keep the current system of money we have and yet the people in charge seem to not be able to grasp such a simple concept.

Qwerty is designed to slow you down

...is a myth.

I picked up this correction from the Dvorak Zine when it was featured on Slashdot a few years ago. It stuck with me because I had, like one of the zine researchers, believed it to be true. It seemed to be logical, yes? Science knows, the qwerty layout itself isn't logical.

But it's a complete fabrication. QWERTY, as a layout, was created BEFORE there were typists, during the design process for the first typewriters. There WAS NOBODY TO SLOW DOWN.

But a lot of people don't know this, and so the old myth persists.

This came up recently in a course I'm taking on the human-computer user interface. I mentioned that I thought the keyboard/mouse combo was a great interface (it is), which brought up qwerty, which someone mentioned was designed to slow you down, which I corrected,

and was then corrected by the instructor. YES, he said, it WAS designed to slow down typing. Not only that, but the most commonly used keys were placed in positions harder to hit (weaker fingers, the bottom row, etc), and common sequences (like the word-ending 'ion') were broken up so you couldn't hit them all together...

All of which is completely wrong.

The 13 most commonly used letters in English are, in order, ETAONRISHDLUC (this changes over time, and I haven't checked in a few years; you might be more familiar with the previous ETAOIN SHRDLU).

Five (ASHDL) are on the home row, easiest to hit. Six (ETORIU) are on the top row, 2nd easiest to hit. Only two (NC) are on the bottom row.

Four (TRHU) are struck by the index fingers alone (I also hit C this way, because I learned WRONG), the strongest fingers.

'ION' uses three adjacent fingers on one hand. It's not strictly right-to-left, but you very much can hit them all together.

Anyway. I tried to put down a common myth and was "corrected" by the teacher. You'd think this wouldn't bother me anymore. The me-being-correct-but-not-believed thing, I mean. I do seem to have a very Cassandra-esque curse in this regard.

Confusing Map

(Click for larger)

This is the map for my office.

Where is room 312B. Are you sure?
How about room 312D?
Room 312E?
Room 307H?

One of those 307H rooms is actually 307G. The 307G on the map is in reality 307J.

So, yeah. Lots of mistakes here.

I only found this today (after being here for a year) because a lot of students were coming in looking for 307G. How could they be confused, there's a map? Ah.