Ignorance, BAD! Argh!

On October 19th, Thomas posted a list of the 100 most commonly banned books to his blog. This led to a discussion in the comments about American Puritan values and the desire to protect our children. Here's a clip from my responses, so you have an idea of what you're missing:

What the world needs now is not "love, sweet love" (although that's another thing that there's just to little of), but an intelligence booster shot.

People whom nature would have culled from the herd in times past are living and breeding now. Blame advances in medicine, or the general plenty of the USA, but America is becoming the hub of stupidity. In countries where medicine is not as advanced, and resources not as plentiful, people in general seem to be more capable of critical thinking (but then lack education, sigh).

Thank GOD (if there is a god), or Al Gore, or whomever, for the Internet(s), a place without borders, or rules, or arbitrary leaders so out of touch with reality that they are unable to function. Of course, there is also chaos and anarchy and a great number of sites with content I disagree with. But so what? Suffering a little chaos in return for freedom is a bargain.

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

• Benjamin Franklin (maybe)

This quote is sometimes attributed to Abraham Lincoln or Thomas Jefferson, which is just further evidence to fuel my belief that people are either stupid or ignorant. What Jefferson said was: "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance." Actually, browsing wikiquote.org's Jefferson page, I found this quote:

I am really mortified to be told that, in the United States of America, a fact like this can become a subject of inquiry, and of criminal inquiry too, as an offence against religion; that a question about the sale of a book can be carried before the civil magistrate. Is this then our freedom of religion? and are we to have a censor whose imprimatur shall say what books may be sold, and what we may buy? And who is thus to dogmatize religious opinions for our citizens? Whose foot is to be the measure to which ours are all to be cut or stretched? Is a priest to be our inquisitor, or shall a layman, simple as ourselves, set up his reason as the rule for what we are to read, and what we must believe? It is an insult to our citizens to question whether they are rational beings or not, and blasphemy against religion to suppose it cannot stand the test of truth and reason.

• Letter to N. G. Dufief, Philadelphia bookseller (1814) who had been prosecuted for selling the book Sur la Création du Monde, un Systême d'Organisation Primitive by M. de Becourt, which Jefferson himself had purchased.

How on-the-spot is that, eh? Actually, reading Franklin's quotes, I agreed with a lot of what he said. There is definitely a commonality of opinion between us. I pondered for a moment that I might have been born in the wrong era, but then I remembered: there were no flush toilets or computers back then; so I snapped out of it.

[Note: This may not be my most-researched post ever, but it's got to be close.]

[Update:]
Whoops! Forgot to include this link: http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/buzz/archives/003574.html

It's a post about the FCC. Particularly, I enjoyed the comment by Ron Toms, about a third of the way down the page. Here's a clip:

To live in a truly free society, you have to be willing to be offended occasionally. ... Are my children's eyes and ears safe from offensive things? God I hope they never are. Unlike so many people in America today, I want my children to learn how to THINK.

America Yes, Bush No

From an article in the Asahi Shimbun:

A recent cartoon in the French daily Le Monde shows a person, whose round head represents the Earth, looking in horror at a big, mean-looking elephant running with a gun slung across its fat torso.

The headline of the article with the cartoon says, "America Yes, Bush No." The elephant is the official mascot of the Republican Party of the United States.

The Asahi Shimbun recently ran the results of an opinion poll conducted in 10 countries about how they view the United States. The headline of the story with the cartoon pretty much summed up the overall poll results.

The opinion poll mentioned can be found here: Survey: 8 of 10 nations favor Kerry in election.

What a Coincidence!

So, everyone knows that my <gulp> 30th birthday was last week, right? Did you make sure that everyone you know also knows? Did you write to your congressperson? Is my birthday STILL not an international holiday? Sigh.

Anyway, it's ALSO the 30th birthday of PASCAL! That's right, Pascal, my very first HLL, the programing language that influenced the way I thought about programming and design.

Long live us both!

More Fun Conspiracy Stuff

Personally, I'm not into these things, but if my mom reads my blog, this is for her. A little flash video regarding the plane that crashed into the Pentagon.

http://thewebfairy.com/video/pentagon121.swf

BASH

Every once in a while, Bash has such a good quote, I have to bring it here:

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."

• DragonflyBlade21

The More Things Change

...the more they're different.

Not that you care (this is my blog and I get to decide what I post here. If you don't like it, get your own blog, and then send me a link), but I'm changing from showing the last 7 posts on the main page to showing the last 7 days.

Previously, I felt hindered. I always wanted to make each entry count, as if that mattered. So, I ended up not posting a lot of stuff, because it was too small.

How dumb am I? While I won't be as extreme as Dave Barry (who sometimes posts a single sentence [or less] and a link), I'm moving away from the novel-sized posts of the past.

Speaking of Dave Barry and novels, in that order:

Dave Barry is taking a time out, starting next year. Read the sad, sad truth here:

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/9962760.htm

As for novels, November 1, 2004 is the official kickoff of NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. I, for one, have always wanted to write a novel, but never had the time. I'm thinking, if I stop watching TV altogether, I might have up to 30 minutes free each day. How many minutes does it take to write 1/30th of 50,000 words? (That's 1667 words, or about 56 words a minute for 30 minutes a day. Currently, I type 80 words a minute, read 350 words a minute, but only think about 30 words a minute). Find out all the fun details here:

http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Please Pardon Our Dust

Right now, currently, at this very moment, we are experiencing what is technically called (and I'm NOT making this up) a Mega-Typhoon [EDIT: Link updated 10/22]. This typhoon has a radius of about 800 kilometers. To put this into terms that anyone can visualize, it's about the same as 100 Babylon 5 stations placed end to end. According to the map on the TV right now, the center is JUST missing my house, and I mean just barely.

The entire country is pretty much shut down right now. It's weird to realize that, given the small actual physical size of Japan, a SINGLE storm can close all transportation nationwide. Of course, it is a single BIG ASS storm, but still.

So far, 17 people have died and 20 more are missing. [EDIT: New totals are at least 65 dead, 21 others missing; read updated link above for more information]

The house shakes in the wind, like an earthquake. The roof is leaking in several places (these places are almost all located directly above where I was hanging my laundry, which is an amazing coincidence if you ask me; good thing I have a clothes dryer...no wait, NO ONE has a dryer in ALL OF JAPAN!). Not to sound like a whiner, but I hope work is canceled tomorrow, because I very literally have nothing dry to wear.

I'm trying to figure out how to protect my books. And computers. Sigh. Too many of both.

There are now two different locations in my house where I can look at where a wall should be, and see light from outside. That's probably not a good sign.

Three times now, a vehicle has driven by with a bell or a siren or something. Apparently, that is the signal to evacuate to the shelter. No one told me. It hasn't passed by in a while (perhaps because the wind has gotten much worse, and it's not safe for them). In any event, I'm not worried, mostly because I don't know where the shelter is anyway. Haha! Just kidding!

Right now, there are no lights on in any other house on my street. My street, by the way, was mentioned specifically on the news. Unfortunately, the news is in Japanese, so I don't know where everyone has gone.

For trivia buffs, the Japanese name their typhoons like we name our hurricanes. This typhoon is named the Japanese equivalent of "lizard". Did anyone else think of Godzilla?

On the positive side, I just deciphered some of the kanji on the side of the lemonade I'm drinking. It says: Alcohol, 5%. So, at least there's that. :D

When in Japan...

...do as the Romans.

It's Sunday, and I'm at work, and it's lunchtime. I don't want to go into too much detail, but if you ever come to Japan, and you decide to have a sausage with your lunch, you must remember this: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU NOT LOOK AT THE SAUSAGE WHILE YOU EAT IT. Let's just say that things the Japanese think are essential sausage ingredients....well, let's just not get into it, shall we?

Excuse me for a moment while I brush the hairs that are falling out of my head off the keyboard so I can continue typing... I really should do something about that soon; either shave my head or wear a hat or something.

OK, where was I?

I'm grading papers now. The students are learning "I think ..." and one boy wrote "I think Phoenix is very handsome." I don't recognize the name of the student who signed in the "I think so, too." box, but at least no one signed in the "I don't think so." box. :)

"What's that grinding sound?"
"That's me changing gears."

My students are awesome. At the BBQ on Friday, each table built their own fire and cooked their own food as a group. It was a lot of fun! But unfortunately for me, when I eat meat I prefer it to be burned. As in very very well done. But, since we were cooking as a group, when a piece was semi-cooked someone would grab it and eat it. Nothing was getting done enough for me. :(

Occasionally I would spot a tiny piece that had been overlooked and was now kind of crispy, and I would grab it. Well, my students are pretty smart, and they saw what I was doing. Moments later, I heard "Sensei! Sensei!" and when I looked I saw that they had, as a group, collected ALL the little burned pieces into a pile for me. :D It was awesome.

On The Second Day

So, I just logged into Blogger. On an impulse, I decided to read what I had written in my profile (I really wanted to see my blogs per week ratio)....and it turns out that Blogger automatically updates your age. At the top of the page, it says:

Phoenix

• Age: 30
• Gender: male

So, it's official now. I have seen it in print. If it's on the Internet, it MUST BE TRUE!

Technically, it's also still my birthday in some parts of the world. I've decided that in the future, I'm going to stick with the 48-hour birthday idea. This way, I can break my diet two days in a row. :D

So, what is it like now that I'm 30? Well, I'll tell ya, it is a bit different. This morning, when I managed to finally crawl out of bed and go downstairs to take my shower, when I saw my reflection in the mirror, the very first thought that went through my mind was:

"I'm gorgeous!"

Seriously. Sometimes you sleep just right or toss and turn just right or whatever, and when you get up: masterpiece. I looked like a model. I almost ran back upstairs to get my camera.

The thought of calling in to work actually crossed my mind.

"Sorry, I'm too handsome to come in to work today."

Today, however, is not a normal day. It's a BBQ, and only one class all day. Plus, since it IS still technically my birthday in America, I consider this BBQ kind of a birthday celebration. As in, "It's Phoenix's birthday! Let's all take the day off from school and have a BBQ!" So, I had to go to work, which meant I had to get ready.

I hated to ruin it, but as soon as I shaved the spell was broken; I no longer had just the right amount of stubble. Then, I still had to shower, and the sad thing was that when I was done, my freshly washed, clean hair did not look as good as my day-old morning hair. Pity.

I think these examples illustrate a personality 'defect' of mine: I have a self-confidence problem; I have a self-esteem problem; I have a self-image problem.

My problem is: overabundance.

Let me give you a third example: Some of the students have crushes on me. This is normal, and it happens to just about every JET. One student in particular, though, is more obvious than the others. Sometimes she'll corner me after class and ask questions, or come to my desk during the lunch break and practice English. The other day, she came by and told me she had been practicing her English and wanted to show me. Well, she had a phrasebook, and she practiced phrases like:

• "You're cool."
• "Let's go dancing."
• "Would you call me sometime?"

She might have even said "Do you come here often?" but I can't recall for sure. There were many many phrases. Some were so outrageous that I would chuckle nervously and glance around at the other teachers, as if to convey with my facial expressions that I was not, in fact, dating this 12-year old, despite some of the things she was saying. (This is one of those things that I thought I had blogged, and then quickly forgot about, so unfortunately I can't recall most of the phrases used).

Sometimes she would say things SO extreme (spit-take inducing, had I been sipping water at the time) that I would just stare google-eyed, speechless. She would stare back for a moment and then smile and say "Just kidding!" She did this a lot; apparently she thought that, no matter WHAT you say, if you follow it with "Just kidding!" it will be OK.

Tangent: I was painfully reminded of my own lack of Japanese ability, because I remembered Ellen DeGeneres' line about people who say "Just kidding!" She doesn't like them; she wants to say "Oh, really? Well then, you don't know how to kid properly, because we should both be laughing." So, in my mind, that phrase has kind of a negative connotation, but I couldn't express this because of my lack of Japanese. Sigh.

So, anyway, after she left, some of the other teachers said "You know that girl? She likes you."

Now, it was SO obvious that it didn't even occur to me to be sarcastic about it and respond with something like "Oh, you think so?" or "What gave it away?" and instead I opted for the simple "I know."

The whole point of this anecdote being: how I feel about the situation, vs how I SHOULD feel.

How SHOULD I feel? Flattered? Complimented? Reassured that, despite the fact that I'm in my 30's, the girls still dig me? [tangent: am I the only one who thinks the references to my getting older are, well, getting old? I've been 30 since YESTERDAY, give it a rest already Phoenix!]

While it's great that this girl thinks I'm awesome, the fact is I already KNOW I'm awesome. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed that there are other students who DON'T have crushes on me; don't they know how awesome I am?

So that's my problem: too much self-confidence. Side-effects include: euphoria, happiness, glee, smug condescending attitude toward everyone else, and the urge to think oneself capable of controlling the weather or other God-related abilities.

I would seek treatment, but I doubt that even I could find a doctor smarter than I am.

What the HECK?

It's time for some link fun.

Here's a German safety video. The speech is all in German, but it is still educational if you don't speak the language. These are safety lessons we won't soon forget. Also on that page is a link to a short Little Red Riding Hood video that made me laugh.

Here's a flash video titled Dad's Home that will make you say "What the HECK?"

Phoenix Turns 30

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.
--The Beatles

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water
There's poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
--Weird Al

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Wow 30 is a big one. But aren't you glad to be done with all that crap you went through in your 20s?
--My father

Oh, sure. I'm glad those COLLEGE YEARS are behind me! After all, thousands of erudite, available co-eds who desire to explore their sexuality. I'm sure opportunities like that will come MANY times in my life.

Ah, my twenties. When I turned 20, I was still in high school. Prince Charles and Princess Diana were still married. It was before Heaven's Gate, the Oklahoma City bombing, and the OJ trial; before Viagra, the Euro, and the Clinton scandal. So much has happened. So much time has passed. It's got to be, what, like 10 years! That's almost a decade!

Let's get these questions out of the way now.

Q: Wow! Does being 30 make you feel old?
A: No, getting a haircut and seeing that, not only am I much grayer than I remember, I am rapidly going bald makes me feel old. Having trouble reading street signs or reaching my toes makes me feel old. Having a bowl of bran flakes in the morning for breakfast makes me feel REALLY old.

Q: What's the first thing you did on your birthday?
A: Well, it's thursday, so I took the garbage out. Then I went to work. Not many people here know it's my birthday, and I doubt any of them really care, since I just moved here recently.

Q: That's sad.
A: That's not a question. Also, it's inaccurate. I get to have my birthday before my sister because I'm in Japan. :D So, there are advantages.

Also, I stay in touch with people back home (no man is an island). Speaking of people back home: yesterday, the local package delivery woman was at work, and she asked me when I was going to be home. I had two big packages that she needed to deliver. Now, I realize that it's my birthday, but anyone who knows me well enough to buy me a gift would also know that I don't really care for gifts. What could it be? I waited at home at the appointed time.....(Japanese punctuality sometimes being somewhat mythical)...she arrived and brought the first package to my door. As I went to sign for it, I noticed the name on the package.

It was for my landlord.

Q: Haha! Were you disappointed?
A: Of course! I had left work early to wait for the delivery lady. If I had known that the packages weren't for me, I could have stayed at work longer.

Q: Wow, you sound old.
A: Sigh. I know.

Q: How come you don't update your blog very often?
A: How is that related to my birthday?

Q: I'll ask the questions around here!
A: Fine. I don't update my blog very often because, theoretically, I'm spending all my free time studying Japanese.

Q: And in reality?
A: I spend some time studying Japanese, and a lot of time reading other people's blogs. Which is doubly sad, because I keep finding interesting things and want to link to them, but I'm trying not to blog as much. Actually, I'm just not POSTING as much; I'm still blogging mentally. If you've read my old posts, you know I had my filter removed. Well, without a filter, I've got a non-stop stream of consiousness (random thoughts, trivia, Dave Barry jokes, and for some reason music). The blog was my outlet, but not blogging doesn't mean the stream stops. Also, I'm mentally writing blog entries all the time, so sometimes I'm actually surprised to check my blog and find that I haven't posted anything.

Q: Are you going to go back to posting more?
A: Maybe. I started the blog as a kind of journal for my thoughts. I like the blog format (small, condensed posts; efficient). That goal still stands.

Q: Well, I enjoy reading your stuff. Keep it up, and enjoy being middle aged.
A: Thanks, but I don't consider being 30 "middle aged". That implies that I'm in the middle of my life; that it's half over. That would mean I would die when I'm 60! Forget about it! I plan on living to at least 120. So, I'm only quarter aged.

Q: That's the spirit. Any long term goals?
A: Not to die.

Q: Hehe. OK. That's all the questions I have.
A: OK. This was fun.

Customer "Service"

I'm breaking my no-blogging rule to vent an experience I've just had:

So, I live in Japan now, and I thought I should update my mailing addresses on my credit cards, so I can get the bills and remember to pay them.

Due to the time difference, and the fact that some of my credit cards don't have 24-hour assistance, I had to get up early to do this. So, already I'm cranky.

Bank of America was my first one, and it went really well. No problems at all (except where to put the Prefecture information if the State line disappears when you switch to Japan).

Next was Providian.

Sigh.

The "international" number they have on the back of their cards is actually not for Providian, but for Visa International, which can't do things like update personal mailing information, but on the positive side, I wasn't on hold for very long at all. I hate being on hold, ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M CALLING INTERNATIONAL LONG DISTANCE. But, seriously, they picked up within 10 seconds, so it was great.

Then, they transferred me to the Providian "international" number.

Sigh.

The woman who answered was obviously new to the English language. Very new. Now, as an English language instructor, I KNOW it's hard to learn. I SEE all the little inconsistencies in the language that make it difficult.

Breathe.

OK, let me describe the call, so you understand where I'm coming from.

Woman: Can I have your account number please? (Thick accent, but understandable).
Me: (Give her my account number).
Woman: Can I have your name please?
Me: Phoenix Gabriel.
...
...
...
...
...
(Now, I'm a patient person, especially with customer service people, as I used to work the help lines at an ISP, but seriously, I waited maybe FIVE minutes in silence for her to retrieve my information. Of course, it helped that I was distracted playing with my new Canon Wordtank G50 Electronic Japanese-English Dictionary. When I realized how long I had been waiting, I decided to take drastic action.)
...
Me: Hello?
(breathing)
Me: HELLO?
Woman: Can I have your first and last name please?
Me: (BLINK) Phoenix Gabriel.
(WHY didn't she say "Pardon? I didn't quite catch that. I don't understand. Please speak slower. Etc...")
...
...
...
(This time I only wait 1.5 minutes)
Me: Hello?
Woman: Um...
Me: Ma'am, I don't mean to hurry you up, but I'm calling international long distance.
Woman: ...
...
...
...
(Only 1 minute this time)
Me: Ma'am, it's costing me money to wait.
Woman: ...
...
...
...
(Back up to 2 minutes)
Me: Ma'am, is your supervisor available?
Woman: Wait.
(Ah, she spoke! OK, I'll wait for the supervisor)
...
...
...
(Back up to 3 minutes)
(I'm not on hold for this time. At least, there's no hold music, and I can still hear the woman breathing)
Me: Ma'am?
Woman: I'm just bringing up the screen. Wait.
(!!!)
Me: Ma'am, please put your supervisor on the phone.
(click)
(!!!)
(Hold music playing)
(whew!)
...
...
...
(Intermittently, the music stops, and I hear breathing)
...
...
(It's possible the woman does not know how to transfer me to her supervisor)
...
...
(She keeps picking up)
...
...
(4 minutes)
(click)
(Different hold music)
("Please wait for the next available representative.")
...
...
Super: Can I have your employee identification number please?
Me: MY employee identification number?
Super: (Completely unfazed) Can I have your account number please?
Me: (Give her my account number, etc, etc)

After all that, it turns out that PROVIDIAN DOES NOT ALLOW ADDRESSES OVERSEAS! In fact, she tried to close my account because I asked to change my address.

Sigh.

Let's see, I started the call at around 7:10am, and stopped around 7:55am, so I was on the phone for about 45 minutes, so I think my wait time estimates above are a bit too conservative. That was 45 minutes of ZERO productivity, but on the plus side I did get charged for calling international long distance (END SARCASM).

Long story short: Don't get a Providian card. Not only do they have an incredibly high interest rate (among the worst in the industry, but not THE worst [yet]), their customer "support" is appalling, and their policies flaky at best. If you DO have a Providian card, I suggest cancelling it at the earliest possible opportunity.

Dang it, dang it, dang it.

Unfortunate Side Effects

Well, it turns out surgery is not without it's complications.

I noticed the first side effect from my filterectomy today. I have no idea how long it has remained unnoticed.

My brain doesn't pause when I'm eating. That is to say, my BODY doesn't pause when I'm eating STRANGE FOOD. Before, I would look at the food, try to identify it, smell it, try to identify it, take a VERY SMALL BITE, try to identify it, etc. Now, I pick it up and put it in my mouth. It looked like a potato, it must have been a potato. I often chew it for a few seconds before the taste hits my brain.

It's amazing how well my gag-reflex control has become.

Things that look like potatoes often aren't. In fact, almost nothing is what it seems. Before coming to Japan, I knew about onions, potatoes, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach. I'm beginning to think that there must be a dozen or more different vegetables in the world. This is TWICE as many as I thought there were. It's blowing my mind.

I of course went straight to the hospital, but they had never even heard of my condition, and they didn't understand.

"We don't understand," they said. "What do you mean you don't eat everything put in front of you? Don't you know that kids are starving in America?" Apparently, Weird Al was a liar.

I've taken to eating my lunch in the teacher's room on days when I know I will be leaving a lot on my plate. Normally, I'd eat with my students, but I don't want to set a bad example.

Sigh. Sorry I can't blog more. :( I still don't speak Japanese, so it's back to studying for me.

Yes, I Can Use Chopsticks!

Some linkage for you from Ryan McDonald's blog. Ryan sounds so much like me, it's scary. I know I already posted the cherry-picking story (one of my favorites, btw), but I was browsing around and found some other adventures in Japan I would like the share. I was tempted to just copy and paste the entire text here, but that felt like stealing to me.

Again, you have to scroll down to the date to read it.

Wednesday, February 18th
Thinking outside the box in Japan.

Thursday, August 26, 2004
Thinking outside the box in Japan, part II.

Saturday July 3rd 2004
How many people are in this conversation?

On the same page, Thursday July 8th
Don't try to out-crazy me.

Friday September 3rd, 2004
First thing on the page. Getting a ride in Japan. (giggle)

The reason I'm pointing these out is the same things are happening to me, and I don't think it's a coincidence.

Here's an abbreviated transcript of an actual conversation I had.

BoE: Can you contact Sarah?
Me: Sure, why?
BoE: The water bill needs to be paid for June and July.
Me: Oh, Sarah left the money for the utilities, so I can pay it.
BoE: Yes, but you weren't here in June. She should pay.
Me: I understand, but she already left me the money. I will pay the bill.
BoE: I see, but it's Sarah's bill.
Me: I know, but she gave me the money to pay it....
BoE: You shouldn't have to pay it.
Me: (Bangs head into wall)
BoE: So, if you could contact Sarah...
(repeat for 15 minutes)

...later, at the Hall of Justice...

O: Do you know when Sarah will be back from Guatemala?
Me: No, why?
O: The Board of Education wants to know.
Me: Is this about the water bill? I'll pay the water bill.
O: It's ¥5,000
Me: I can pay it.
O: No, you shouldn't pay it.
Me: Really, it's not a problem.
O: I think maybe the Board of Education will pay it.
Me: I have the money...
O: No...

Sigh.

Because Life Is Always Totally Fair

So, I get this link in an e-mail from my mom the other day.

For those who don't want to follow it, I will 'splain.

...

No, is too much, lemme sum up:

~10 acre, 6 bedroom, 6.5 bath estate.
Special Features:

• Barn/Stable - Detached
• Basement - Finished
• Central Air
• Cul-de-Sac Location
• Fireplace
• Forced Air
• Garage - Attached
• Gas Heat
• Hardwood Floors
• Residential with Acreage
• Satellite Dish
• Sauna
• Sprinkler System
• INDOOR Swimming Pool

Of course, this all takes place AFTER I move halfway around the world. But, that's fine. I'm not bitter at ALL. I'm fine in my house in Japan.

...My Name Is Inigo Montoya...

Quite often, I'll be walking down the hall, and have this conversation. This conversation rarely deviates from this pattern, and takes place probably five times a day (no exaggeration).

Group of girls: Hello.
Me: Hello.
Group of girls: (giggle, hurry away).

But, the thing is...Japanese doesn't have as many unique sounds as English. So, 'Hello' becomes more like 'Hallo', as in Halloween.

For my introductory lesson to first graders, they would come up, introduce themselves, and ask me a questions.

Every single one of them started like this:

"Hallo, my name is..."

It's hard not to giggle.

Maybe The Cup Is Just Too Big?

Are you a positive person or a negative person? I'm talking about the coffee cup half full/half empty debate. I've had a lot of coffee this morning, afterwhich I brushed my teeth before class (there's a sink in the teacher's room specifically for brushing your teeth).

A negative person would say: "I've consumed so much coffee, it is nearly impossible to put toothpaste on the brush, my hands are shaking so much."

I prefer to think: "I've consumed so much coffee, when I brush my teeth it's like having an electric toothbrush."

I'm positive that way. :)

Japanese Coffee Revisited

So, I previously complained about the bitterness of Japanese Kohi (Coffee). Well, here's an update: I made my own this morning, and it's fantastic! I think my officemates might have been playing a joke on me before.

Hilarious.

Also, I put in a small google ad at the bottom of my sidebar. Supposedly, it will display relevant ads based on my posts. I'm incredibly curious what ads my rants on driving in Japan will match up with. :)

All Work and No Play

So, it's now quarter after 6, and I'm still at the office.

I figured, as long as the bike shop was closed, I'm no longer in a hurry. So, I changed my template again, and took off all the quotes on the sidebar, and turned them into a single random quote. Now I can add more without feeling guilty for turning the small sidebar into practically a page unto itself.

I really should go home now...let's see if that happens.

(later)
Nope. Now it's about 7pm, and people are starting to come BACK to the office! It's crazy. Anyway, I'm going to tear myself away from editing my template, and really go home. Right now...

Mysteriously Hidden Notes

So, somehow in my style settings for my site, I've removed the setting that colors links that don't link anywhere. See, to leave my notes, I was including an anchor tag with no HREF, like so: <a title="Hello, World">*Note</a>, which becomes *Note.

Except, on my blog, there's no hint that anything is there. In Blogger's preview, I can see that text in a different color. It looks like a link without the underline.

So, I came up with the alternate way you see now. Isn't learning fun?

It's now more than an hour since work officially ended, and the bike shop has closed. :(

Sigh.

Serious Bloggage Reduction

*Note

It is very likely that I will be blogging a LOT less in the very near future.

Let me tell you about my day.

First, let me express my joy in teaching. The more cynical among you will immediately assume I'm speaking sarcastically, but actually, I do enjoy teaching very much. I didn't think I would; I could barely remember the times in the past when I had taught (I was, in fact, a classroom assistant for nearly a year).

Oh, what had I forgotten?

Teaching is a joy. Seeing comprehension dawn on a frustrated student's face is wondrous; seeing frustration form on a student's face is likewise painful.

Of course, let us not fail to mention the cruel pleasure of calling on a student who is being disruptive. I don't really care if students would rather read or sleep or do homework or whatever in class (if they're sleeping, maybe they're bored and I need to be more interesting, or maybe they have problems at home, or whatever; I don't know their situation), as long as they aren't disturbing the students around them.

But...beware. If you talk to your friend in class, you're next to be called on (and your friend is next after you). If you get out of your seat, you're next. If you are disruptive in any way, you're next.

I think my perverse pleasure in calling on students in that way is actually in how quickly they learn what my rule is. Often, by the end of the class that day, I will run out of people to call on (everyone remains silent, facing forward, sitting perfectly in their chairs). And that too is pleasurable, so it's two-fold.

Anyway, so in one of my first classes today, one kid is playing with a box-cutter. A box cutter like the ones purportedly used in the 9/11 attacks. (I should post my 9/11 rant in another post, but I'll probably let it slide). Anyway, this is Japan, so the possibility of a box-cutter being used as a weapon is remote (Well....), but for me it was distracting. Slide the blade out, slide the blade back in.

Anyway, where was I?

Ah, yes. So, it was near the end of class, and I think most of the students had figured out what I was doing, but there was one girl who was clearly talking to another student (behind her, so she also had to turn around to speak to them). Of course I called on her.

She gave a perfect answer, right away. Actually, a word-perfect answer. The exact answer I had in my Teacher's Edition textbook.

Hmm.

I walk over to her desk, and she has another textbook open. With the answers in it. I look at the JTE, who said "It's a guidebook." A guidebook that has ALL the answers in it, to every question in the textbook.

I'm trying not to judge.

Anyway, where was I?

Ah, in the next class, we taught the first-graders how to use the phrase "How Many" by playing a game^H^H^H^H^H doing an activity.

1. Give all the students 5 small pieces of paper.
   
2. Two students get together and Janken.
   
3. The loser hides 0..5 pieces of paper in their hands.
   
4. The loser asks "How many pieces do I have?"
   
5. The winner guesses. If they're correct, they win a piece of paper and move on. If not, they just move on.

May sound boring, but it's fun enough for first-graders, and they learn "How Many", so it serves its purpose.

We also introduced new words today, including the word "Often" which brought up an interesting point.

Do you pronounce the 't'?

I pronounce it ôften, with the 't' sound, but here, they usually pronounce it ôfen, without the 't' sound. How can I explain that both are correct? English is a fun language, and since I've become an English teacher, I'm noticing more and more fun things about it.

Another example from class today:
Q: Is Carlo's host family busy?
A: Yes, they are. -or- Yes, it is.

Grammatically, the second answer is correct, but the majority of English speakers will interpret the question as: Are the member's of Carlo's host family busy? This makes the first answer correct.

The first one is the answer from the book.

Anyway, what was I talking about? (Damn lack of filter means lack of focus)

Ah, yes, why I will be posting less in the near future.

My third class for today. Let me tell you how it went.

It was for third-graders learning "How To". The JTE had a bag of Japanese items (bowl, grill, large chopstick, small cup, etc) that I didn't know the names of, or how to use. They were hidden in a bag, and I would describe them to the students, who would guess what I was talking about. Of course, I would describe them completely wrong.

"It's a small, white, ceramic cup (true), maybe for use as a watering dish for hamsters (nope)."

Then, we'd pull the item out of the bag and show it to the students, who would then tell me the Japanese name of the item.

Except, of course, we're talking about middle-school students. So, they didn't tell me the ACTUAL Japanese name of the item. Would you? Seriously?

No, they would say the name of another student, and I would dutifully repeat it, nodding wisely. Ah, yes, it's a Wataru. Everyone would laugh.

Actually, this worked great; the students stayed awake and had fun. However, it has instilled in me a determination to study Japanese more. After all, in two weeks and two days, I will be 29. And I started studying Japanese when I was 25. And I have forgotten everything I used to know.

So, instead of blogging at work, I'm going to study Japanese. And instead of blogging at home, I'm going to study Japanese. My goal is to be able to have a basic Japanese conversation, and my timetable is: One month. It's too late to have my goal be my birthday, so the new end-date is October 31st (or as we say in Japan, October 31th). Halloween.

I'll try and keep my blog updated with my progress, so leave comments (I'll probably work harder knowing I have an audience). And, since work actually ended thirty minutes ago, and I'm the only teacher left in the building, I should go home now. :)

Adventures in Japan

I love Japan. I really, really do. I think every American should get a job over here at least once in their lives. Not a career, but an adventure in Japan for a year or so.

That being said, the Japanese mentality *IS* different than the American mentality. I know I said before that they were both the same, but there are some differences.

I was reading this story on another blog (Wednesday June 23rd, 2004, you have to scroll down to it), and I see some of the same mentality at my school. It really seems to be universal for all of Japan.

A lot of the time I catch myself thinking "Is this real? Is this really happening?"

Yes, it is.

It's too bad most of my friends have never been to Japan and can't truly understand. :(

Addicted to Bash

Damn.
It.

I'm starting to believe that bash.org has been placed on the Internet by the Satan Himself.

I'm completely addicted. I can't stop reading it. I'll go to it every day and read the Latest ones, and then at least a page of random ones. I can hardly concentrate on work, and everyone in my office surely wonders about the Strange Foreigner giggling at his desk.

That being said, here's some of my current favorite quotes:

Our Father, who 0wnz heaven
I am spartacus
that's a bad ass song
DR. MARIO
whats up?

Sigh. Back to work.

Too Much Blogging

So, now that I don't have my filter, I'm going to have to start limiting how many new posts I make per day. Today, for example, I left all of my notes to post at home, and while I was here at work, I thought of 12 more items. I'm going to try to limit myself to no more than four posts a day. I'd hate to have to reinstall that filter...

So, since this is my fourth post today, let's make it count, and talk more about driving in Japan.

Of course, I haven't been everywhere in Japan, so I don't really know how the drivers are as a whole, so I will only mention the drivers here in Fukui (motto: "Worst Drivers on Planet Earth").

For example, yesterday, I was driving the speed limit (40km/h), and people were lining up behind me. Then they started passing me by pulling into on-coming traffic. I was going SO SLOW (the speed limit) that they would rather RISK THEIR LIVES than wait for me. I was actually causing more danger by going the actual speed limit than I would by speeding.

So, I sped up to 45. Then to 50. Then to 60. Understand, this whole time, they are STILL PASSING ME.

And not slowly either. I'd estimate they were going at least 20km/h faster than me, which means that they were likely going 80km/h (or more, they had to slow down when they caught up to me).

So, 80 in a 40, or twice the posted speed limit. For those not used to metric, 40km/h is about 25mph, so they were doing 50 in a 25.

Sigh.

Also, what reminded me of this was an incident on the way to work this morning. See, Japanese drivers are all, apparently, late for something important. This is why they tend to speed so much, and why they don't necessarily wait for the light to turn green to go. They'll wait for the cross-light to turn red, and then go.

It is the same during road construction. In places where one lane is closed, road crews set up lights at each end, with a timer. Stop for 30 seconds, then green light. The lights are timed so that after a green light turns red, they're both red for 10 seconds (so that cars already on their way can get through).

Now, as I'm driving, I see that the light up ahead is flashing green (meaning 'yellow', or about to turn red), but I was close enough that when I started past the road construction, the light was still green. I wasn't worried, because the light on the other side would stay red for 10 seconds.

Unfortunately for me, the Japanese drivers know this 10 second rule too, and they interpret it to mean "If there's less than 10 seconds on the timer, it's time to go", so what do I see? A line of cars headed my way, against the light.

You have no idea how much effort it is taking for me to refrain from either shouting or typing curses right now as I recall this incident.

Of course, who should have to back up? ME of course! Since there was only one of ME and ALL of them (the whole line decided to go against the light; in Japan, everyone works together as a team).

I was already frustrated enough due to the car behind me. I'm not saying he was tailgating, because I'm not sure if that is the correct term, but I couldn't have reported him anyway as I could not see his front license plate because he was too close. If he were any closer, though, I could have seen his BACK license plate.

So, bad day for driving this morning.

Anyway, clock on the wall says it's time to go to the BoE, so ttfn.

Don't Post while Under the Influence of SleepDep

To clear up some confusion, I wasn't Japan-Bashing with my previous post. I was just giving my opinion. You have to keep in mind that I'm a Jerk.

I still stand by my statement that Japanese are, on average, arrogant; just like Americans.

I was speaking from frustration (I flew halfway around the world to find out that everyone here is the same as everyone back home?), sleep deprivation (much like today, and by 'today' I mean 'everyday'), and without a filter.

I had my filter removed (the filter between your brain and the rest of your body that prevents you from saying what you think). I figured it was preventing me from posting to my blog. See, I write things down on scraps of paper, and tell myself that I'm going to write it up and put it on my blog. The problem is that I put so much effort into making everything I write better (part of my superiority complex) that I never got anything actually posted, or I wait so long to write it up that the actual details escape me. What is the point of keeping a blog journal if you don't actually do any journaling? Kind of defeats the purpose. If I could remember things long enough to write them up later, I wouldn't need to keep a journal in the first place.

So, I went to the doctor and had them take out my filter. I have it in a jar if I ever remember to take a picture of it.

So, now I can post every day without worrying what people think, and I get more thruput on my blog (which is good for me; less thoughts bouncing around my head to deal with), but the actual quality of the posts has declined considerably. But, without a filter, I don't care. :)

The Joys of Aging

So, tomorrow will be the two-week anniversary of my Sports-Day Sunburn, and my arms are still peeling. I remember that when I was a kid, I would get horrendous sunburns on my back and neck etc, and after a few days it would peel off and I would be fine. I don't recall it ever taking so frelling long.

Of course, it's also not peeling the same way as before. Then, it was like a snake shedding its skin, big chunks of burnt human-rinds sloughing off of me. Now, it's like my arms need Head and Shoulders.

Frankly, it's beginning to frustrate the heck out of me. I can't wear short-sleeved shirts (because the students comment on my arms when I do), and since it's still Summer here (well, I guess not technically after yesterday), that's a problem.

Sigh.

Why I'm Stupid

So, I stayed up too late last night, and as a result, I was dead tired this morning. So tired that I didn't pack up my laptop and bring it to school with me. The problem is, my actual work for school was in that bag. Also, my laptop. So, I have a three hour gap today with no work to do and nothing to do it with. Sigh.

Fun with Math

Just for the record, for those that think being a JET is high pay for little work (it's sort of the opposite, actually).

Here's my actual pay for July: 69,230 yen (a yen is roughly equal to a cent).
Not bad, considering I wasn't working in Japan for the whole month.

Here's what they took out:

13,846 Tax
13,940 Mandatory Health Insurance
23,086 Mandatory Pension
------
50,872 Total

Now, the tax is theoretically refundable (haven't got that one sorted out yet, but I've only been trying for three months). The Mandatory payments are the full payments for every month, even though I was only working in Japan for the last six days of July. I thought that was tough at first, but then I heard that Japanese citizens have to make the Mandatory pension payments whether or not they are actually employed, so it's not like the US Social Security system.

So, my total, take home for 6 days work was: 18,358, which is about $30 a day, or (assuming an 8 hour day [ha!]) less than $4 an hour.

Also, bear in mind that, according to the brochure from the international office of my prefecture (which wants to present the most positive image it can), it only costs slightly more than $100 a day to live in Fukui!

Wasn't that fun?

Pictures and stuff

So, as you can see, I've restored the pictures on this site. What do you think; should I leave them up? Personally, I like the face from the British Museum in the background, but I can see how some people might find it annoying. Should I leave it alone, remove it, or at least darken it? Leave a comment and let me know.

Also, I'm working on an alternate css for people who prefer, for example, black text on a white background. Those of you who have e-mailed me to complain, e-mail me again if I forget to fix it. The links should appear somewhere on the sidebar sometime this week. Sorry, I can't be less specific then that.

Finally, (also on the sidebar) I've put up an XML feed. There was actually already an ATOM feed at http://myrighteye.blogspot.com/atom.xml (most blogger blogs have one there), but RSS format was specifically requested, so I found a converter and there you go. Those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about...don't worry. It's not important.

The Internet Movie Database

Speaking of the IMDB (why I started all this on a day when I actually have work to do...), they have a policy now that bugs the heck out of me. I say 'now' instead of, for example, 'they have a new policy' because it has been in effect for a while, but it still bugs me.

It has to do with their 'Goofs' section. Here's an example:

Goofs for
"Mad About You" (1992)
Continuity: As with any long-running show there are many inconsistencies between series. Characters' life histories, their birthdays and ages are reported differently from time to time as the writers invent new stuff for them that wasn't thought of when the series began.

To me, this is akin to going to the special extras on the DVD to see: "There exist some goofs" and then not listing them. Some times are worse than others. Check out this one:

Goofs for
Core, The (2003)
Incorrectly regarded as goofs: Since almost all of the "science" in the movie is entirely erroneous, we are prepared to accept that the movie's universe *must* have entirely different rules - it's the only possible explanation. It's just for fun.

I read this one as: "There are SO many things wrong with this movie that we can't possibly list them all; not only that, but since we don't want to even have to check all the many many possible submissions, our policy is to not list any. So, don't bother sending them in; we aren't listening."

Also, the lack of information on their "movie connections" is quite frustrating.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones references Metropolis (1927)? How? It spoofs RoboCop (1987)? Where?

Why not simply require that movie connection submissions include at least a one line explanation? How hard would that be?

I love the IMDB, and it is free (thank god), I use it all the time, and tvtome and movietome are nowhere near complete enough to compete with it. But it wouldn't be much harder to make it much better.

Sigh.

Lisa Kudrow

I was originally going to title this post "Boring People" but that might refer to people who are boring, or it might refer to the act of actually causing people to be bored. By the time that entire thought had gone through my mind, I had forgotten what it was that I was supposed to be doing, so I titled it Lisa Kudrow instead.

Speaking of boring people, do you hate them or what? When I was in America, it was difficult for me to refrain from saying "Stop speaking. Right now."

Sometimes, I failed. Most people don't, though. Why is that?

I think people suffer thru boring conversations because they are too polite to point out to the bore that they are, in fact, being boring. I think this is a mistake on the part of those suffering.

I had a revelation today: boring people probably know that they are boring. How do I know this? Well, I know that I am boring, I just don't care.

For two years I lived in a little green cabin in the woods with very limited contact with other humans. For a long while afterward, I spoke very little to people, and very rarely about myself.

But...there is a pleasure in talking about yourself. Look at blogging for example. Most bloggers don't care if anyone reads it in the same way that most bores don't care if the listeners are suffering. The joy is in telling the story.

Also, since our experiences are limited to, well, our experiences, it is difficult to tell any story about events you witnessed without mentioning yourself. And that is the mark of a bore, constant references to oneself.

Often, I feel the urge (or need) to contribute to the conversation, but all I can think of is some remotely tangential relation to some experience of my own. I know consciously that mentioning might possibly derail the conversation (as people habitually think of their next comment while 'listening' to the current one, but if I change the topic, they're screwed). But, hey, it's MY turn to speak.

I remember this one episode of Mad About You, the first episode with Lisa Kudrow (and thus we've come full circle), back when she was a brunette, before she was a ditzy waitress. In her (I think) first appearance, she was Paul's date. Here's the part I remember.

Paul: I make movies.
Lisa: That's so weird, because I work at a bank.

Yeah.

One of the great advantages of living in a non-English speaking country is that I don't really have to suffer bores, and yet I still get to bore people. After all, I have a blog.

Speaking of which...

What is the deal with Japanese coffee? It's like they don't understand the concept here. They seem to be under the impression that coffee is SUPPOSED to be bitter! They have a coffee you can buy from a vending machine, advertised as EXTRA BITTER! I'm not making this up; I should take a picture of it the next time I see one.

Bitterness is what happens when coffee gets too oxidized (boiling it, burning the beans, leaving it out overnight, etc). It's not something to strive for.

They have a type of coffee here insultingly referred to as American Coffee. There's nothing American about it; it's just regular (bitter) Japanese coffee that's watered down. The idea is that American's can't handle coffee that's too strong.

Apparently, all those Japanese Tourists I saw in Seattle decided not to share their findings with the friends back home. It must be some colossal conspiracy. "Shh, shh, everyone! Listen! When we get back to Japan, let's pretend we don't know Americans are all addicted to espresso, and keep pretending that they can't handle strong coffee. It'll be funny!"

Anyway, not to get sidetracked again, but what is the deal with Japanese thinking that they're better than everyone at everything? Kaori picked out a bag of chips the other day that she described as "very hot". Actually, they were mildly hot, emphasis on mildly. I can only infer that the Japanese don't share our traditions of chili cook-offs with chili so spicy hot that it paralyzes your vocal cords (possibly so that you can't ask for seconds, thereby saving your life).

The arrogance...it's so...so....American. I feel completely at home here.

Sigh. Back to work again.

Why I lack Culture Shock.

There is a lull at work right now (the first appearance of that fabled 'free-time'), and since my list of blog topics is at home, I'll have to come up with something new. So, I decided to investigate the reason why I have yet to feel any Culture Shock. In fact, it often feels like I'm still in America.

I've figured it out: it is because I'm hard of hearing. That's right, being hard of hearing is the cure for Culture Shock.

"But wait," you may protest, "aren't you forgetting all of the obvious differences around you, that scream out that you're not in Kansas anymore?"

To that I say, what differences? The main difference would have to be the language, right? Well, body language is pretty similar over here, and since I haven't been able to hear very well for years, I'm accustomed to not understanding the words people say. But I can pretty much tell what someone means from their body language.

To anyone who thinks that the large number of, say, Asian people, vs the small number of, for example, anyone else would be the biggest difference. Such a person is drastically over-estimating my ability to actual distinguish differences between ethnicities (my African American History teacher would be upset to hear that. "I'm proud to be black," he would say. "I'm sorry, I'm color-blind." "That's an insult!" "No, it's a lack of cones in my eyes."). Actually, one of the many high schools I attended was in San Jose California, and I swear that the dominant nationality at that high school was Japanese. And, I basically came to Japan directly after graduating from EWU, which has a large Asian (especially Japanese) population, due to the AUAP partnership. So, it's pretty much like America, with less Americans. And that doesn't seem like a bad thing to me right now. :)

As for the food, well, it's not as big of an adjustment as I thought. Squid, for example, is basically the same taste and texture as McDonald's "chicken" McNuggets. Seriously. So, except for the fact that many foods come with seaweed, or green tea, or both, it's quite similar.

Speaking of food, to go off on a tangent for a moment, the odd things are missing here. There's no Ranch dressing. In America, where we have literally HALF an aisle dedicated to all the different types of Ranch dressing, to come here, where there is NONE (all of the other dressings seem to be present and accounted for)...that's the closest I've come to culture shock. I saw a recipe for ranch dressing the other day. Hooray! I thought. Directions: Start with a package of Ranch dressing mix... :( Actually, there's a tasty dressing I use here made from mixing mayo with soy sauce (similar to 1000 island, mixing mayo with ketchup). It's not bad, and I always have mayo and soy sauce. Of course, the mayo is different here (closer to miracle whip). Where was I?

Ah, yes, killing time at work, so I can go home and take a nap, or play KoTOR. Or, actually, now that I've remembered it, go to the Board of Education because it's Friday, and I'm not done working. Sigh.

Anyway, lack of culture shock. You know what else I haven't experienced? What about that wonderful immersion into a foreign language giving me the ability to chat with the locals? Hasn't kicked in yet, perhaps for the same reason I lack culture shock (hard of hearing), but also because you don't need to be able to speak Japanese at all here. I rarely have trouble being understood at the supermarket or whatever. You can totally get by in Japan with just English and a smile. :)

Anyway, I'll have to try to remember to post something here when I've had more than 3 hours of sleep followed by a full work day, as at the moment I'm having difficulty thinking about anything besides coffee. Mmmmm....coffeeeeee.....

Ouchness

"Someone help me. I'm still alive only I'm very badly burned. Hello out there. Anyone. Can someone call an ambulance, I'm in quite a lot of pain."

So, yesterday was Sports Day at Higashi. I am fair-skinned, there was a lot of sun...do the math. Long story short: I am extremely sunburned today, so there will likely be a delay for new posts as I recover.

That is all.

Nishi School Festival

Akamatsu sensei tells me that some students want to ask me a question. I say, sure. My spidey sense should have been tingling.

The students are going to sing "Top of the World." They want me to evaluate their performance. I say, sure.

(later)

Ah, more information. The students want me to come up on stage. 'To better hear them?' I wonder.

(later)

Ah, more information. The students want me to sing with them. O_o I inform them that, regrettably, I cannot sing. They seem to understand.

(later)

It's time. A student comes down and escorts me to the stage. "Where shall I stand?" "In the center."

But, then I would be in front of the singers. In the center of the stage.

???

the head student comes up and in one deft motion gives me the lyrics and snatches away my excuses. Sigh. Apparently, they want me to LEAD them in the song.

Sigh.

The awful truth about singing in Japan:
It really doesn't matter if you can't sing. I really can't sin, but neither could the head student, and he'd been practicing.

The head student announced that if everyone did well (according to, apparently, my judgment), they would get a prize of candy. Well, now. That pretty much solves my question of what to say; now I have to say they did well or I'm the bad-guy.

Anyway, I sang, and was complimented afterward. Which, if you've ever had the misfortune to hear me sing, boggles the mind.

Other highlights so far:
A love drama staring two boys (one in a skirt).
Momotaro.

Copied and Pasted

Well, I copied and pasted the old posts from American JET in Japan, so expect some weird time and space displacement around here, which I have no immediate intention to correct. It's going to happen again when I get around to posting my notes up till now.

Also, sadly, all comments were lost. Therefore, in order to be a responsible citizen, it is YOUR duty (yes, I'm talking to YOU) to replace the lost comments with new ones.

*Notice the apostrophe. I brought my laptop to school. :) My laptop, by the way, has developed cracks in the hinges. Sigh. If I was set up properly, I could post pictures of the cracks, so you could see.

Once I get internet at home....soon....soon....

The timezones, they are a-changin'

Just updated the timezone setting on blogger, and now the times for some of the posts are messed up. Live with it.

Fine, one more.

OK, so I figured, as long as I am at work but not working, and messing around on the blog, I will go check out what is new at bash.org.

Just a warning: Do not try to read bash.org while you are at work. It is a bad idea.

I think my co-workers thing I am crazy. "What is he giggling about?" they no-doubt wonder. Anyway...

What a world, what a world...

So, it is now SEPTEMBER, and I am in Japan (and I have been here for a month and a half) and I STILL DO NOT HAVE INTERNET AT HOME. I want to update my blog, and have actually been keeping notes on my adventures here, but as I cannot consider blogging a work-related activity (not to mention the difficulty of Japanese keyboards, note the lack of apostrophes in this post), I am confining myself to this single post to say:

Soon.....soon.....

Pix8 is down, so I think I'll move my pictures. Yes, I'm still here, yes I'm still trying to update this thing. I think I'll move PhoenixParagon over here while I'm at it. Sleep is for the weak; besides, I slept last week.

Patience, people. You know who you are. I'm looking at YOU George.

The thing about tiny towns is...

So, I'm placed in Asahi, which at first dismayed me (population: 9000), but actually, the more I think about it, the more I like it. It's REALLY tiny! But, it's also REALLY close to Takefu (30 minutes by bike; population: 70,000), where I can go to take courses on various topics of Japanese culture. And, to me, that is the real reason I'm going to Japan; I want to learn more about Japan and Japanese culture.

Really, what better place could I go to do that? If I were placed in Fukui, it would be too much like home. McDonalds, Subway, KFC everywhere. Nah, not for me. I want a place where the only thing I can even think of doing is to stay in and practice my Japanese, because there sure aint nobody else in this 'burg that speaks English.

Likely, I'll be in a place that is nice and quiet, I'll be the only foreigner (it's good to be unique), and I'll have a lot of free time. It's perfect.

And the winner is...

The verdict is in. I got my placement letter today. I'm going to Fukui! :) This makes me VERY happy, for many reasons.

It's a great time to graduate

Since I'm graduating fairly soon, I have to go through exit counseling for my student loans. I just got the paperwork today. While researching the process, I ended up on a loan consolidation site. Consolidating my loans at the current historic low interest rate would save me thousands. But, it just keeps getting better. I ran across this news item, which indicates that student loan rates are going to drop EVEN MORE July 1st. I think I'll wait a bit and consolidate then. It's a great time to graduate. :)

This almost makes up for the fact that I STILL have not heard from JET as to where I'm placed. Grr...

WAITINGWAITINGWAITINGWAITING

TOO much waiting makes Phoenix go CRAZY! Here it is, the 26th of May, and I STILL don't know where in Japan I'm going! ACK! I can't handle it! I REALLY want to be placed in a certain region, so this is quite a big deal for me.

Sigh...

Blocked

So, I still live on campus (for the next few weeks anyway). Living on campus is great for the social aspects, but in many other ways it falls short. Right now, there is a rumor going around that a malicious hacker was inside our network. The result? Almost all the ports are now blocked, theoretically to retard the hacker's progress.

WTF?

Now I can't do many of the things I used to enjoy on the internet. All because either we have a real hacker and they're trying to stop him(her/it/whatever), or our internet service here just plain doesn't do their job right.

I really don't know which way to lean on this one. On one side, I don't really know enough about hacking to say that there ISN'T a hacker on the network, and on the other the internet service providers, while being the best I've experienced in my four years here, are sub par.

Either way, it means no webcamming for me for a while. Or games. Or downloads. Or...

Slow news day

So, I still haven't heard from JET as to where I'm going to be placed. (nervous) The waiting game is a killer.

I did hear that my updated passport photos arrived safely. Hopefully the delay will not adversely affect me.

I also heard that others from my (relatively small) school also made it into JET. In fact, at least one of them knows where he is placed (Sapporo). Also, my boss's daughter applied and didn't get in. :( This was the second year she applied.

I wish I understood how the selection process worked, I could have given her some tips.

Anyway, more waiting for me...

Love bash.org

So, my friend sends me to Bash.org the other day. They day I was supposed to be doing my homework. Man, this is the site for me: twisted computer humor. If you're a computer science person, avoid this site; this site is a time-sucker. It's like a disease: my friend infected me, and now I'm passing it on to other people. Anyway, here are two quotes from the top 100 list.

#99835
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

#9322
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> |    .
<Ouroboros> .    |
<tag> |  .
<Ouroboros>    . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros>      | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

New features

Blogger upgraded their servers today, and now they have built-in comments. It's weird, because I was just thinking about how I wish they had built-in comments, because external services, in my experience, have not been as good. :) We will be phasing out the Haloscan comments, and those comments will be lost. :( We shall see if the new system is indeed better than before. Now all they need to add are built-in smilies. :)

Note: It's a pain to change over though, because it doesn't automatically change the comments settings for previous posts. We had to go through and change them all over by hand. What a nightmare! I'm glad we just started this blog, I couldn't imagine doing as many posts as some of the other blogs already have.

The eyes have it.

I found a picture of my sweetie, so I'm putting it up here.

A poem for the day

How Do I Love Thee?
Let Me Count the Ways

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barret Browning (1806-1861)

This poem has remained extraordinarily popular for more than 150 years, and I can see why.

How do you know if she's The One?

Had this thought last night, talking to my sweetie, and it's cornball, but it's how I see things.

True love is like the answer to a crossword puzzle. There may be other words that technically fit, they have the same number of letters, but they won’t fit right. When it’s the right word, it FITS, and there is no doubt.

Why I love Adult Swim (They're in my HEAD man!)

So, I'm supposed to be finishing my papers for tomorrow, and I decide to take a break and watch some TV. I turn on Harvey Birdman (because it's short, and I'm busy), and the FIRST thing I see is this commercial:

Tired?
Cranky?
Nervous about tomorrow?
Ahh, we knew it was something.
Look.
Don't be nervous about tomorrow.
Instead, be nervous about right now.
Because right now is when you should be doing something
That could prevent that terrible thing that will happen tomorrow.

You're choosing inaction.

You're choosing instead to watch TELEVISION.
Frankly, we admire that.
We admire your courage.

Not much happening on the JET front

Right now it's a waiting game. Am I still on the short list? Will I be placed in the town I want? I don't know. In English Teaching news, I just got done talking on MSN with a long time good friend of mine, and her sister is an English teacher at a school I used to attend. Now, that makes me feel old. Her YOUNGER sister is now actually a teacher for a school I once went to. Oy.

Can't stop writing...

So, I got an e-mail back in the e-mode days (see PhoenixParagon.Blogspot.com), and here's what I responded with:

From jezabell
> I read your profile, and laughed my ass off! I'm
> sorry, but you seem like such a genuine person, and
> seem like you'd be very fun to talk to. If you're
> interested, go ahead and look at my profile, and
> write me back!

:) Well, I'm glad you appreciated my profile! Actually, I wasn't trying to be funny when I was filling it out. I was bored and just wanted to kill time. Re-reading it now, I wonder why I chose to say the things I did. I guess I wasn't really paying attention (much like when I'm driving), and just let my mind wander (much like my car when I'm driving).

Of course, when I'm typing, I tend to ramble. It is fortunate (though frustrating) that they limit you to how much text you can put in. I know that if I tried to list all the music I listen to or all the things I'm passionate about, most people would grow tired from scrolling down the page. And I would probably forget what I was talking about halfway down, and go off on some tangent that had nothing to do with anything, but just happened to hit me while I was at the computer. The Zen of typing.

Anyway, sometimes I forget that I even have a profile there. I keep meaning to update it (the picture especially, it's more than a year old!), but never seem to have the time. Although, it is spring break right now...and I am at the computer right now... Of course by the time I finish this e-mail, I will have forgotten again.

So, I see in your profile that you list Spanish as one of your languages. Do you actually speak Spanish? I have it listed as one of my languages because I took two years of it in high school, but that was several hundred years ago (calculation based on my ability to understand native Spanish speakers now, it seems that the language must have changed a great deal since my time in high school because I can barely understand a thing now). Actually, most people I know also took Spanish as their language in high school. One time, a group of my friends and I were standing around by the office and I needed to borrow a pen. When a friend handed me one, I responded with "Gracias," an automatic thing from when I was in Spanish class (although it's not so automatic anymore. Whenever I ate out at a Mexican food restaurant, I would realize that I said it after the waitress brought me water or whatever, and I would wonder if she thought I was being a smartass. Anyway, anymore I say "Arigato," from Japanese class). Where was I? Oh yeah, well, when I said "Gracias," he replied with "De nada," and we all started taking a trip down memory lane. Someone else started with "Como Esta?" and we went through the standard High-School-Spanish responses "Muy Bien, Y Tu?" "Asi Asi", etc. It was about this time that my friend Javier from Argentina walked by. Now, he had never seen us speak Spanish before. Ever. Not one word. Now, we were all speaking it (sort of, you know what I mean). I think he thought we were poking fun at him.

Poor Javier. Actually, I had another friend, Erin, who just left for Mexico for six months. She dropped by to say 'bye', but I had my headphones on and didn't hear her knock. Isn't that sad?

I took Spanish because my family is (distantly) from Spain. Like, my great-great-grandmother was from Spain. It seemed like a big deal to my grandfather that someone keeps up with the old language, so I did. Besides, it was either Spanish or Latin, and I was no good in Latin class. Of course, as Spanish was important to my grandfather, Latin was equally important to my father, who learned it when he was in school. I hate having to choose between family members, but I sure didn't want to take two languages at the same time! Now, though, I can't get enough. I switched to Japanese when I went to college, and took American Sign Language just for fun (in this case, 'fun' translates as getting up at 6am so I can drive to Spokane at 7am for my two-hour sign language class every morning). I regret dropping Latin more and more all the time, especially as one of my favorite authors (Terry Pratchett) loves to quote things in Latin. The only Latin I can remember is Illigitemus Non Carborundum (or something like that, I can't remember how to spell it). It means something like: Don't let the bastards grind you down. My father has it as his license plate frame, which is ironic if you know that he never married my mother, making me his bastard child (which may be a bit of an over-share for my first email to you, but there you go).

Anyway, I didn't continue in Spanish in college because I want to be a computer game programmer, and Japan is game Mecca. I was actually looking into going to Japan this summer, if I could find a job that would defray the costs enough. Of course, getting there might be a problem; since I am deathly afraid to fly owing to a class I took in high school. See, I used to WANT to fly. I loved it! I flew back and forth between my parents all through my childhood. I wanted to be a pilot. So, when the chance came to take a class on how to fly, I took it.

What a mistake! The first thing they teach you is all the ways that things can go wrong leading to your death! Logically, I understand that a single engine prop plane has potentially more danger than a commercial jet airliner (you can't even really compare the two), and they are unrelated in every way. And yet I'm still afraid to fly. That's why it's a phobia (irrational fear). On the very rare occasions when I do fly, I am very particular about it. I did my research, and I minimize my chances for danger (not that there is much danger on an airplane. You really are much safer in a plane than in a car. You would have to fly non-stop for like a million years before statistically you would be in a fatal crash. You have a greater chance of getting two Royal Flushes in a row playing poker. You have a greater chance of getting hit by falling airplane parts...no, wait). I fly Southwest (not one fatality, and that's with 50% more flights than Quantas, the ONLY other major airline with no fatalities), I sit over the wing (most reinforced part of the plane), next to the emergency exit (and you'd better believe I have that handy emergency exit guide pretty well memorized), in a rear-facing seat, on a non-stop flight in the middle of the day. And STILL I'm afraid to fly! This may be because I often don't have the money (or actually, the willingness to part with money for something akin to torture for me) to fly Southwest, so I get given tickets on Alaska or Horizon. These are the planes that aren't big enough to come up to the terminal; you have to walk out to them. These planes are small enough that they have to arrange the seating so that the plane is balanced!

I also haven't flown since the tragedy of 9/11. Actually, I have a satellite dish, and was up that morning at 5am. I was watching Good Day LA, and out of curiosity I switched over to Good Day New York to compare the two shows. About 2 minutes later, the first plane hit. I was watching the New York news when it happened. What are the odds of that? I ended up watching the entire thing unfold, moment to moment. Of course, no one else was awake, so I watched it by myself. I tell you, I think it was a completely different experience to be watching it live than to hear about it after. At first, they thought a bomb had gone off in one of the towers. I was watching live when the second plane came in and hit the second tower, confirming our worst fears (that this was intentional). By the time my mother saw the footage of the twin towers collapsing, she already knew what had happened, but when I was watching it, we didn't know! In fact, the news commentators continued talking for about a minute, because they hadn't realized that something was happening. It was pretty freaky.

(Glancing up at how much I've written) Holy shnikies! I bet you didn't think that your one-paragraph e-mail would elicit a novel in return! And the bulk of my response is based on one line in your profile (Languages English, Spanish). Imagine if you had written TWO paragraphs, or if I had gotten to the next line, Religion! My fingers would be falling off! Anyway, sorry for ending on such a downer (ah, you thought it was all going to be fun and games), but I should really stop typing now. If I can...just...pry my fingers...away from the keyboard...

Wow, I really did talk a lot. When I was little, I wanted to be a writer. I don't know why I didn't pursue that, as obviously I don't suffer from writers block! (At least, not when I'm writing about myself. Maybe I'm not a gifted writer, I'm just self-centered!)

Anyway, hope I didn't overwhelm you! And if you respond, I'll cut my e-mails down from novel sized to novella sized. Well, I'll TRY to anyway! :)


...and I never heard from her again!

Further proof of my insanity

As if any were needed. So, I get this e-mail from my friend Beth, and it has a collection of 40 or so questions and her answers. See, the idea is that everyone answers the questions and sends them out to the people they know, and thus we all learn about each other.

Well, what my friends learn about me is that I'm completely insane. You see, there are quite a few slightly different versions of the 40 or so questions list. I went out and tracked them all down and compiled a more complete list, and now it's nearly twice as long. THEN I went through and organized the questions by type. Why? Why do I do these things? One time for Japanese class, we had to give presentations one what we did on a typical day. I went last. Everyone else stood in front of the class and gave their presentation. I brought overheads for the projector. Full color pictures of me during various parts of the day. After class, one of my fellow students asked me why I went through the extra effort. I told her it was because of my low self esteem! HA! My problem isn't lack of self esteem, it's over abundance! I always feel that I can do any job better than other people.

Anyway, then I sat down and started answering the questions. My answers were much too long. No one wants to read a novel when they check their e-mail. Thankfully, there was a very brief power outage and my answers were lost, but unfortunately I had saved the questionnaire, to inflict upon unsuspecting visitors.

Anyway, here it is, the complete list of survey questions and my new answers:

Okay, here's what to do... and try not to be LAME and spoil the fun. Just give in. Copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people you know *INCLUDING* the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you learn a lot of little known facts about your friends and family. It's fun and easy. **Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you**

Facts
1. What is your name?
Phoenix
2. Do you have a nickname? What is it?
Phee, or Pheenee (Like Mr. Feeny on Boy Meets World) (See how I go and put an actual link to the IMDB for Boy Meets World? Why?)
3. What is your sign & birthday?
Libra, Oct 14th.
4. What color are your kitchen plates?
I don't know (I'm colorblind, I can see blue, and NOT blue, and they're NOT blue). Maybe, off-white.
5. What book are you reading now?
Sigmund Freud - Five Lectures on Psychology, Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess, William Gibson's Count Zero, and The Bilingual Family. Actually, I'm sure there are others, these are the ones I see around my desk with bookmarks in them.
6. What is on your mouse pad?
My mouse.
7. What is under your bed?
Boxes filled with computer parts. And software. And complete computers.
8. What screen saver is on your computer?
No screen saver for me, although I like the occasional After Dark style.
9. What type was your first car?
A Honda CVCC that was older than I am (and that's OLD).
10. What kind of car do you drive now?
Chevy Corsica that's barely older than a decade. I've really moved up! Actually, I have to get rid of it, since I'm moving to Japan.
Favorites
11. What is your favorite number?
4
12. Favorite board game?
Does Boggle count?
13. Favorite card game?
13 (Oooh! Ironical coincidence with the question numbers).
14. Favorite party game?
Cranium.
15. Favorite magazine?
Maxim (what can I say).
16. Favorite smell?
Nature after it rains.
17. Least favorite smell?
Urine.
18. Favorite color?
Gee, I don't know, BLUE?
19. Least favorite color?
I guess anything that isn't blue.
20. Favorite alcoholic drink?
Pinot Noir if red wines count. Hard Lemonade if we're talking bar drinks.
21. Favorite movie?
Previously, I couldn't answer this question. I love lots of movies! Now I can say Kill Bill V1 is my actual favorite. There are LAYERS in that movie.
22. Favorite CD?
Again, too many favorites. I don't know.
23. Favorite TV show?
Hmm. West Wing. Or Friends. I guess I like NBC.
24. Favorite food?
Sweet and sour chicken and pork fried rice! Or overcooked meatloaf! MMM!
25. Favorite soft drink?
Diet Vanilla Pepsi. Or a mix of clear, natural cola and cherry sodas. Why don't they make Diet Cherry Pepsi?
26. Favorite sounds?
I have no idea. Silence?
27. Favorite sport to watch?
Basketball. Hands down. What other sport has this constant action? Football? No! Baseball? Are you high? Soccer maybe.
28. Favorite animals...one domestic and one wild?
Domestic: Mutt. I like dogs, and mutts are the best.
Wild: Any of the Big Cats, like White Tigers. They'll tear you up!
29. Favorite vacation spot?
I had a great answer here last time I came through. Now, I have no idea. Vacation? What's that? I've been in school non-stop for four years (even summers). I'll get a vacation after I graduate.
30. Favorite classical composer?
Mozart is good, Beethoven is wonderful, but if you know music theory BACH IS A GOD.
This or That
31. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate.
32. Ketchup or mustard?
Ketchup!
33. Hamburgers or hot dogs?
Hamburgers.
34. Burger king or McDonald's?
Jack in the Box
35. Is the glass half full or half empty?
Half full.
36. Are you a button up or t-shirt person?
Both.
37. Storms-cool or scary?
Depends. Am I inside or outside?
38. Toilet paper rolls - over the top or under?
Over. I don't know why.
Yes/No
39. Do you like to drive fast?
Not really.
40. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
I buy it a drink first.
41. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
No, the left.
42. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Gross!
Any
43. If you could meet one person dead or alive who would it be?
Douglas Adams
44. If you could have any job what would it be?
World Emperor
45. If you could have any color hair what would it be?
Why would I care?
46. If you could have any present in the world what would it be?
A few trillion dollars. With a nice bow.
47. If you had the choice of any superhero power to possess, what would it be?
Immortality.
Most
48. Where is the best place you have ever been?
The Japanese Gardens in Spokane. So peaceful.
49. What is the best money you have ever spent?
The money I've spent on my car. Best investment ever.
50. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Long lists of questions.
51. Where would your ideal location to live be and why?
Canada. Dollar goes further, friendly people, and they speak English.
52. What is the weirdest dream you've ever had?
That one where I'm at school, completely dressed, and everyone else is naked and laughing at me.
Questions
53. How many rings before you answer the phone?
If I'm talking to someone, I won't answer the phone. Otherwise, one ring (or less). Unless I'm sleepy, then it's hit or miss.
54. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
I hope that was just a dream.
55. What are your future children's names?
X14-D and 101001, depending on how far into the future we're talking.
56. What is most important in life?
Not to die.
57. What is your single biggest fear?
Those little white spiders. Those creep me out.
58. What is the one thing you don't have that you want?
If I wanted it, I'd have already gone out and gotten it.
59. Have you ever been in love?
Of course!
60. Do you know someone right now that you could fall in love with?
I'm dating her.
61. What are you doing right now besides answering these silly questions?
Wondering WHY I'm answering these silly questions.
62. Do you collect anything? What?
Does credit card debt count?
63. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Oooh! I didn't see this question before answering the previous one! Hmm...Best Buy probably. They have everything.
64. What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
Plain Wheat Hearts with Sugar Twin and vanilla soy milk. Yummy!
65. What is for dinner tonight?
Fried Chicken. Yummy!
66. What did you do yesterday?
Same thing I do every day, TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! No, I finish work, I go home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk, and go to bed. (Bonus points for those that can identify both references).
67. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
Hopefully not doing 20 years in prison for trying to take over the world.
Survey
68. Say one nice thing about the person who sent this to you!
Since I made it, I'd say that I'm pretty nice.
69. Person(s) least likely to respond?
Everyone! First, because I didn't send it to anyone, and second, because it's 70 questions long!
70. Person(s) you sent this to that is most likely to respond?
Sheesh!

There, now you know far more about me than you ever wished. Are you happy now? I know I am. (^_^)*

News news news...

So, I've decided to keep my personal life and my JET life separate. From now on, my JET related posts will be here, and my personal posts will be at MyRightEye.blogspot.com and hopefully I can remember to keep them straight.

In actual JET news, I found an e-mail in my SPAM folder from the JET office in Seattle informing me that I had forgotten to sign my passport before making copies. D'oh! Well, after I found the e-mail I sent a reply back asking if I should express mail the new copies to them. My concern was that this minor issue might be a major issue if it were holding up my paperwork.

In any event, I didn't receive a reply, and after I waited for as long as I could I rushed to the post office to mail them off. I'm going to send them express anyway, I thought to myself.

Alas! In vain! BTW, does the post office close early on fridays? Seriously. So, now it's closed, and not open on saturday, so the soonest I can send it off is monday the 3rd. In the JET paperwork, it does emphasize in BOLD letters that all paperwork needs to arrive no later than April 27th. Woe is me.