Romantische

Der Schlangemann has reminded me of a romantic tip (via The Sneeze [same tip as last year]).

A long time ago when my wife was my girlfriend and we were LIVING IN SIN, a tradition was born. I'd like to now share it with you all.

I came home from work one day and found her in front of the computer. I said "Hello," and she barely grunted back. I don't even think she looked up.

Half-jokingly I responded, "Okay, we're gonna try this again." I walked out the front door and came back in a few moments later...

"STEVIE'S HOME, STEVIE'S HOME!!! YAY!!!" was the new over-the-top cheer I was greeted with. It was accompanied by a hug and kisses. And I loved it.

What began as a joke quickly became an ongoing practice that continues to this day in our house: The person who is home first must make a small fuss when the other person gets there.

Does it sound silly? Yes. Do I promise that it will set the tone for a nicer evening just about every time you do it? Yes.

The world is full of douchebags, guys. Take 3 seconds out of your precious day to make a fuss over each other. Do it like you mean it. Do it as a goof. Just do it a lot.

I'm promise you'll be glad you did.

And THAT reminded me of the "I Love You Today" game in my family. The game is simple: whomever says "I love you today" first, wins. That's the whole game.

Well, actually that's not all, as there are variations. "I love you this year" for example, but that doesn't come up too often. ^_^

While playing it every day is the goal, if you run into someone you haven't seen for a while (that you play the game with), it's fun working it into the conversation before they remember.

A: Oh, guess what?
B: What?
A: I love you today.
B: Damn it!

You can add variations of the rules (no saying it right after midnight, etc), but the real point is just to say "I love you" every day.

Is it cheesy? Yup. And silly, and kind of goofy. But, like Steve's tip, it does make a difference. ^_^

(Says the single guy...)

Der Schlangemann

*WARNING*
This is a stop-motion animation film that contains mock genitalia and explicit sexual acts involving dolls. Viewer discretion is advised.
(warning from archive.org)

Here is the classic Der Schlangemann video that you may have heard me mention. Now, the original site is gone, unfortunately. (It was actually still up [sans videos] when I originally intended to post this, however many months ago that was).

However, the Internet Archive has kept it online. Isn't technology wonderful?

Don't watch this video at work, unless your workplace is OK with German doll-men with giant penises sexing up Barbie.

(Also, video is entirely in German with no subtitles. But, it is very understandable!)

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Basic Instructions

Today's Basic Instructions mentions Spokane. That is all.

Calling "Blog Rights"

Thomas introduced me to the practice of calling 'blog rights' to something. Having never heard of the practice, I called blog rights to 'blog rights'.

That was what, two months ago? More? It's been a while.

So here it is, at long last: the rules to calling blog rights (with addendum).

1. The first person to call it gets it.
2. You can't pre-call it (eg, no going "I call blog rights on the concert we're going to next weekend").

It's really a lot like calling shotgun. Here's the proposed addendum:

• If someone calls blog rights to something, and NEVER POSTS IT, their exclusive rights expire. Let's say, in a week.

Does that work?

The Price Of Beer

On Friday, Feb 6th, the CS department went to the bar.

It was a lot of fun, but I did end up drinking too much (people kept buying me beers, what was I supposed to do?). I told a friend that he was annoying. I also was informed about a beer that resembles my beloved Sapporo. I should have left sooner though.

When I went to pay my tab (for the two beers that I myself had ordered), there were a bunch of mixed drinks on there. Not mine.

At this point, the waitstaff from earlier had already gone. According to them (on the phone), someone had gone to the counter and ordered drinks and said that they were Phoenix.

So, unless there are more of me (unlikely, since my doppelganger lives in the Seattle area), someone was putting drinks on my tab.

Anyway, the point is I ended up paying for the drinks. So my two beers came to around $27. Not quite $14 a beer, but close.

At that price, I might as well stick with wine.

The Brightness

I live in a cave.

Or, at least it seems that way at times. All the bulbs are 60-watt, and it's so dark in my kitchen that I usually have to have the stove light on as well just to see what I'm doing.

Well, I had a few burned out bulbs, and when I went to purchase replacements, I decided to start switching over to CFLs. And since I was switching to CFLs, I also opted to increase from 60-watt to 100-watt (equivalent brightness). So, not-quite-twice the brightness for just over a third the electrical cost.

Oh. My. Science.

It's so much brighter in my apartment, it's hard to describe. I no longer feel like I'm living in a cave. It's like stepping out into sunshine. I should have done this months ago.

An interesting side effect is that it is making me more aware of when I turn on the lights. See, if you turn on a CFL, you should leave it on for at least half an hour (which is why I don't use CFLs in the bathroom), otherwise you drastically shorten its lifespan. So now I am more aware of when I turn on the hallway light, for example. Because if I'm going to leave it on for 30+ minutes, I better be sure I need it. If it's a momentary need, I'll probably just leave it off and do without.

TopFive is Gone

They actually appeared to have stopped making lists last August.

I didn't notice because I don't read them anymore. I imagine a lot of others went the same way.

See, I used to love TopFive. Back in, say, 1996, they were really funny. Then they spread out into Little Fivers, and those were less funny. Then they had a subscriber program, where you would get an ad-free list.

And then they stopped giving you the whole list if you weren't a subscriber. They'd cut off the top half (eg, the funniest half) in the e-mail, and you would have to go to the site for it. This is when I stopped reading.

You're going to give me ADS and NOT THE LIST? Thanks, but no thanks. And that's not mentioning the drop in quality of the main lists. The top contributors had gone off to be funny on their own and the people left were... meh.

So, I'm sorry to see that TopFive is not producing at the moment (but may come back), but it doesn't really affect me. TopFive stopped producing for me years ago.

Ideas Lost

Whenever I have (what I think is a) great idea, I write it down immediately.

If I'm at my computer (most of the time), I have text files filled with ideas, ready at hand.

If I'm out walking around, I have my handy cell phone to type my ideas into.

This morning, I had a great idea. While driving.

WHAT WAS IT?

Forward Posting Revisited

How is the forward posting experiment going so far?

Well, drafts and scheduled posts now take up the entire first page of the Edit Posts menu (and part of the second).

Sometimes it's great, like during the week when I have almost NO time to post anything. I don't have to worry.

Sometimes it sucks, like when Mike posts a video that I have sitting in my queue. ^_^

Sometimes so much time has passed between when I write something and when it posts that the post is meaningless or out-of-date on arrival.

Overall, I like it. I can sometimes think of scheduled posts in the back of my mind, simmering away, and something new will occur to me, or I'll have a change of heart. I can edit it before it posts; I have plenty of time. And if I forget, well, then it wasn't that important. ^_^

The Reverend: Evil League of Evil application

The Reverend applies for a spot at the table...stable...whatever.
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This was one of my favorites from the ELE application videos.

Not to be confused with the master of puppets,
I'm the Plush Preacher, Father Felt, the Pastor of Muppets.
I'm the Miniature Minister of Sinister stuff
The Priest made of ping pong balls, mischief and fluff.
I am the puppet of the lord and I will tell you how to get
to Bless-a-Me Street if y'all ain't gotten there yet.
Stop your thinking. Stop your feeling. Stop your copulation.
I'll make puppets of the entire population.
I'll put my hand up politicians, scientists and theologians.
And I'll bribe the Evil League of Evil with indulgence.
That's right, even the thoroughbred of sin
can trot straight through the pearly gates if y'all let me in.
An offer you can't refuse. Unless you get one higher.
Or unless you just do, in which case, you know, fire.
Of the perpetual variety. So what's it gonna be?
Let the puppet in your club or burn for all eternity?

This is not as much a request
as it is a proposal of-
fering you something quite val-
uable you won't find anywhere else.

Still not sure? Need some more?
Well...what am I here for?
You're probably thinking, that's a preacher not a villain.
He can't be down with us unless he's out there killing.
Well, I've told you about my abilities as a herder,
so let's get to the real stuff: What's my stance on murder?
Well, once you know you've sinned beyond all redemption,
and you know you have no honest chance at ascension,
there's nothing wrong with killing. You might as well,
'cause the good ones go to heaven and the bad ones go to hell.
That's fair! They all get exactly what they require.
Everybody wins. Well, not the bad ones, 'cause...fire.
But I reckon I'm in the right. Me and the Lord are tight.
So you better let me in or you're in for a fight.
I'll kill you all, and forget about heaven.
So, do I get the job? Signed, the Reverend.

This is not as much a request
as it is a proposal of-
fering you something quite val-
uable you won't get anywhere else.

P.S. I really need this job. The church kicked me out 'cause of...an incident I don't wish to talk about. But I assure you I am not in any way a sexual deviant. Shut up! I am 100% heterosexual. You hear that, Bad horse? I have no desire what so ever to walk into your stall in the middle of the night...with a jar of... Okay, reverend, keep it together, remember shock therapy, remember the good book! Remember the...purdy horsie. No! No, bad reverend! Bad reverend!
Anyway. Yeah. Let me in the league or you're all going down. Far, far down. I'd like to go dow--No! Bad! But if you take me, you automatically get my invisible friend,
the most powerful being in or outside the universe on your side.
You may have heard of him. Can't pass that up.
So...can't wait to hear from y'all. Till then, well, God bless.

To download the mp3, go to http://www.last.fm/music/Vincent+E.+L. and click "albums"!

There are a few Ask The Reverend videos on YouTube. You can ask him questions @ Reverend @ Swenglish.nu.

Why Science Is Awesome

(Originally scheduled for yesterday, but got bumped)

Saw this comment on Digg recently:
GREEDOnvrFIRED
on 01/20/2009

What happened to Pluto is what I adore about science. New technology... providing new information... that causes the scientific community to realize fault in it's existing information. No adherence to tradition, no injured pride, no accusations of heresy and no excommunication. You just inform the world that billions of books, posters, documentaries and science fair models are WRONG. And when the world replies "COME ON!" Science replies "TOUGH SH*T" this is science. I love it.

Update: After I wrote this, Neil deGrasse Tyson appeared on the Daily Show and talked about Pluto:
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The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Daily Show Full Episodes
Funny Political Videos

Important Things With Demetri Martin
More Funny Videos

Happy Birthday Darwin

Happy Birthday Charles Darwin!

I was just thinking about him! There was this post over on Slashdot the day before yesterday. Darwinism Must Die So Evolution Can Live.

"Equating evolution with Charles Darwin opened the door for creationism by ignoring 150 years of discoveries, including most of what scientists understand about evolution — Gregor Mendel's patterns of heredity, the discovery of DNA, developmental biology, studies documenting evolution in nature, and evolution's role in medicine and disease. Darwinism implies an ideology adhering to one man's dictates, like Marxism. Nobody talks about Newtonism or Einsteinism, and that by making Darwin into a sacred fetish misses the essence of his teaching. By propounding "Darwinism," even scientists and science writers perpetuate an impression that evolution is about one man, one book, one theory. "Darwinism" implies that biological scientists "believe in" Darwin's "theory." It's as if, since 1860, scientists have just ditto-headed Darwin rather than challenging and testing his ideas, or adding vast new knowledge."

Yeah...except as MANY /.ers pointed out, actual scientists DON'T SAY "DARWINISM". They say neodarwinism; Darwins theory plus all the addition evidence of the last 150 year. Or they say darwinian evolution (to distinguish it from, say, lamarckian evolution), meaning natural selection as the mechanism. But when they are talking about evolution in the modern understanding of it, you know what they say? "Evolution". As Thomas pointed out, Darwin didn't invent evolution. The only people that say "Darwinism" are creationists, trying to obfuscate the arguments: if you pin an idea to a person, you can ad hominem attack the person.

I didn't even know it was Darwin's birthday today until Google told me. (More on that in some future post)

SPEAKING of Creationists, I hope everyone has seen the Creationist Junk Debunked videos. Sometimes funny, and sometimes sad that people believe the things they say.

Sign Up To Comment

So, I had followed a link from Thomas' to Girl Grows Up (or, Potomac Fever?), and saw a post that mentioned a Mark Haddon book. I read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time on the recommendation of a friend while I lived in Japan. It's a sort-of mystery told from the perspective of an autistic boy. Now, having an autistic brother of my own, to whom I was a care-provider for a couple years, I came at the novel from an unusual perspective. Some things were just plain incorrect, but overall I think I enjoyed it.

But could I comment about it?

Apparently not.

See, when I followed the comment link, I was presented with this:

You will be asked to join Vox to post this comment.

Want to comment? Join our site. I have to say, it's 2009, and that's lame.

You want to leave a comment here? Now, I have anonymous comments disabled. BUT! You just have to have an OpenID somewhere. Anywhere. Such as AOL, Blogger, Flickr, LiveJournal, Yahoo, WordPress. Or Vox.

That's right, if you have a Vox account, you can post comments here, but I can't post comments there. It's strictly one-way.

Get with the times, Vox!

Firefox Woes?

So, I was editing the Moosebutter post, right?

I had gone to YouTube looking for Terry Fator videos. I had never heard of Terry Fator, but I followed a link from Thomas' to Snickersnack's, and there it was. But those videos had expired, so I went to YouTube.

I saw that Corey Vidal had posted a new video. The video led me to some other sites and I figured there was enough material to warrant either a new post or an update. Since the post in question was already an update, I figure I would just expand it.

I added Corey's new video and a bit from the article. I saw a line in the article I wanted to emphasize, so I did. Then I wrote "(Emphasis mine)" at the bottom of the post.

Didn't look good there, moved it up to the "From the article:" line. But now I needed to un-capitalize the E in Emphasis. This was going to be my final change, then I could post it. Highlighted 'E'. Pressed 'e'.

...

Firefox freezes.... then crashes. Bam. All tabs gone, all update gone, everything gone.

I was pretty pissed. See, because this was an existing post and not a new one, I never got the "Draft autosaved at 3:49 AM" message next to the Save Now button. So, unlike a new post, it wouldn't be waiting for me when I restarted Firefox.

Restarted FF anyway, got up and paced and went for a cup of coffee while I fumed and composed a "Computers Suck" post in my head. Came back, FF was loaded with my saved tabs, and the last active tab selected. My "Create Post" tab. With my update still in it.

Wwwwwhat?

Did Firefox save it somehow? Was it Session Manager? Or did Blogger secretly save my post, but not as a regular draft?

Who knows? All I know is, computers rock! I love technology! ^_^

World Of Mime

(from That Mitchell and Webb Situation)
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This kind of thing is why I didn't enjoy acting classes.

1234567890

On Friday the 13th, 2009 at 11:31:30pm UTC UNIX time will reach 1,234,567,890.

This will be Friday, February 13th at 1531 and 30 seconds PST.

You can watch the countdown (countup?) here.

Hang In There, Jack

I saw this commercial during the superbowl, but apparently it's not a "superbowl commercial"? It's not in ANY of the official collections of superbowl commercials (NFL, NBC, Hulu, YouTube, Yidio). This is what I get for not watching TV.

Anyway, it was the one where Jack gets hit by a bus.
Show/Hide

(May be gone by the time this posts)

Hadn't thought about it since the game, but it came up recently on a blog I read, so I checked out the site HangInThereJack.com. Two things:

1: FREE FOOD. One day only. February 10th. That's THIS TUESDAY. Print out the coupon on the site, get one order of medium seasoned curly fries. Free. Not, free with purchase or any of that crap.

2: While most of the HITJ videos are meh, the ones with Jack's doctor tickle me.

First:
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Second:
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Heroin Addict Christmas

(from That Mitchell And Webb Look)
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How I Spent My Morning II

I have to write a literature review (a review of published papers in my area of science, not a review of books).

Lots of searches, lots of tabs open.

Oh, EWU's Library pages reset to the search page? So if you don't save your results right away they're gone? Cool.

Ah, Citeseer isn't supported anymore? Guess I'll try the beta. Oh, the beta doesn't save search parameters if you use the back button (shitty javascript implementation), maybe if I click the advanced search link at the top? Oh, that link means instant browser death? Awesome!

Good thing I didn't have a ton of unsaved searches open, because that would suck!

World Record

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Phoenix Has Bad Luck...

...shopping online. In this review: KungFu4Less.

Executive summary:
I ordered some kendo equipment, including a shinai case. They apparently ran out of shinai cases, so they removed it from my order without asking if that was OK. I told them to cancel the whole order.

A few days later, they send me a coupon, and upon checking their website I see that the shinai cases are marked as back in stock. I place a second order, identical to the first.

They canceled the whole order without any notification at all. I didn't even know they canceled it until I checked the status.

KungFu4Less is pretty terrible, and although their prices look good, I don't think I will ever shop there again.

Details:
So I'm in Kendo club at EWU. I wanted to buy some kendo gear, and some froogling led me to KungFu4Less.com.

Prices seemed OK, so I placed an order for a gi, hakama, and shinai bag. They e-mailed me an order confirmation.

I also told my friend about it, and she placed a similar order.

Then they e-mailed me a second confirmation, with the shinai bag removed. It seems that they are out of stock, so they just took it out of the order.

What the hell? Companies can do that?

I've never had a company change my order without asking for confirmation on my part.

So I e-mailed and canceled the order (probably a good idea anyway, since I think I might have ordered the wrong gi size). But upon checking the website, the shinai case is still listed! But the owner tells me that no, they aren't actually in stock.

Here is the complete first communication (even the parts that expose me for the dick I am): Show/Hide
No no, that is not OK. You can't just DROP an item from my cart and
ship me the rest without asking. Because, I'm going to have to order
that again from somewhere else, and that's going to cost shipping
there, so I might as well order my gi and hakama there TOO. See?

Also, how is the shinai case not available for ME, but it IS available
for my friend [redacted] who placed her order AFTER MINE?

DO NOT SHIP MY ORDER without a shinai case. No shinai case, no order.
---
Phoenix

Okay we will cancel your order.

Jim Sul

Thank you. I'm sorry for the trouble. I was just very surprised.

Also, when I went back to the website, you still list the shinai case?
Is it available? Or no?
---
Phoenix

No problem at all Sir... Unfortunately that item is still out of stock. We are very sorry.

Jim Sul

A few days pass, and then I get a coupon from KungFu4Less. Maybe this is a sign? The shinai cases are back and they still want my business? I place another order (this time with the correct sizes). I got a confirmation e-mail shortly.

Then I waited.

And waited.

After more than a week had passed, I went back to the order confirmation e-mail and followed the link to check the status of the order.

It had been canceled.

No notification, no anything, just canceled.

I e-mailed them again, and was summarily chewed out by the owner.

Some highlights:

"You seem to not like the way we run our bussiness, so I ask you to stop placing orders with our company."

"Did you think we were going to ship your order??"

"TAKE A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT THAT."

"Yes I canceled your order... We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and that includes you. You are a very difficult person and I do not want you or anyone like you as a customer. I'm sure you have heard that alot, if that bothers you.. oh well."

"You are one insignificant person who is complaining because he didn't get what he wanted. Grow up."

Awesome.

Here is the full gory transaction: Show/Hide
You canceled my order without ANY notification at all?

This is the worst shopping experience I have ever had.
---
Phoenix

Dear Sir,

As per your request, we could not ship your order complete, so we cancelled like you requested.

Jim Sul

You canceled one order on my request.

Then you sent me a coupon. When I checked your site, it appeared that
the one item that was missing from my first order was back in stock.
I placed a second order.

You canceled the second order without any notification. You didn't
say "We don't have this item". You didn't even say that you canceled
the order.

There were two DIFFERENT orders.
---
Phoenix

Dear Sir,

You seem to not like the way we run our bussiness, so I ask you to stop placing orders with our company.

Jim Sul

I will stop placing orders with your company, and instead I will start
telling everyone I know about the terrible service I encountered.
---
Phoenix

You truley are a very difficult. You make a big fuss about about one item being backorderd and want to cancel your entire order. We were more than happy to accomadate you. What did you think we would do when you place the exact identical order a few days later. Did you think we were going to ship your order?? Did you think we would run the risk of shipping your order incomplete? Of course not, you already told me how you wanted us to treat your orders. Your exact words were "if you cant ship my order complete, then I want to cancel my order." Well guess what... WE CANCELLED YOUR ORDER.

Jim Sul

It wasn't an identical order. It seems you didn't look at it.

It also seems that you say items are available on your site when they
are NOT available.

You didn't say the item was backordered, you just removed it from the order.

My issue isn't that you canceled my second order, it is that you
canceled it WITHOUT NOTIFICATION. Just like you removed an item from
my first order WITHOUT NOTIFICATION. Do you see that part that is
causing the problem? When you change things without telling the
customer, that is BAD.

If you didn't want me to order again, why did you send me a coupon? I
thought "OH, the item is back in stock AND he sent me a coupon! He's
not a bad guy at all, I guess I will order from him again."

I guess that was too much to hope for.
---
Phoenix

Dear Sir

I am the owner and operation of Kungfu4less.com and I do my best to give mu customers what they want. Sometimes, in bussiness, your gonna have items that are not in stock. I sent you a notification that one of the items you order was not available. You called me and wanted to cancel your order. Wasn't that email a notification that an item was backorderd??? Obviously I didnt just cancel an item from the order and ship it like you claim. Had I have done that, I would not have been able to cancel the order. On this new order, I sent you another email letting you know that the entirre order was being cancelled. Again, doesn't that email act as a notifying your order was being cancellation?? You keep saying we adusted your order without notification, yet you were able to reply to both notification that were sent. TAKE A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT THAT.


Jim Sul

For the first order, you did not send me a notification that one of
the items was not available, you sent me an order confirmation with
the item removed. I sent you an e-mail saying that I didn't approve
that change and canceled the order.

That was not an e-mail notification that the item was backordered.
You said nothing about it being backordered, only that it was no
longer available. These terms are not identical.

I didn't say that you shipped the order without the item. Of course
that did not happen.

You say that you sent me an e-mail notification that the second order
was being canceled? To what e-mail address did you send that
notification? Because, I did not receive it.

Reply to what notification? For the second order, I replied to the
order CONFIRMATION. There was no notification that you canceled the
order. I only found out that the order was canceled because, after
waiting a week with no shipping notification, I went to the website
and checked the status of my order.

Look at the history in these messages. There was NO NOTIFICATION of
the order being canceled. Please take a moment and think about that.

You seem very angry at what has happened, but everything that has
taken place was in your control. You claim that you sent out
notifications, but I did not receive them. That is the root of the
problem.
---
Phoenix

Dear Sir,

All notifications are sent out automatically when ever an adjustment is made to an order. This includes the confirmation email that is sent when you place an order, as well as any tracking email there after. I could not changed the status of your order without an email automatically being generated. If you did not recieve that email, I do appologize.

Jim Sul

I didn't get it because you didn't send it. If your system is broken,
that is unfortunate.

I'm sorry we couldn't be customer-merchant, and I appreciate your
(current) polite tone, but it was still a terrible shopping experience
and I'm still going to tell everyone I can about it, including the
messages you've sent me today.
---
Phoenix

You are amazing. Even when I try to be civil you are rude and obnoxious. Apparently you have nothing better to do. Yes I canceled your order... We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and that includes you. You are a very difficult person and I do not want you or anyone like you as a customer. I'm sure you have heard that alot, if that bothers you.. oh well. I ask you now to move on. I can care less what you write about our company. You are one insignificant person who is complaining because he didn't get what he wanted. Grow up. I can assure you, our business will thrive without you.

Jim Sul

Don't shop at KungFu4Less.com!

(See how I still link to the site? Apparently I reward companies that screw me over by giving them more traffic.)

Do You Watch Heroes AND Lost?

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Banksy

So, Thomas has this picture in his house, and I just (well, two months ago) realized it was a Banksy.

This link will take you to the page of his rat pictures, the fourth one being the picture in question.

Now, maybe Thomas had told me it was a Banksy and I just forgot, but it was still a surprise to spot it on the Internet. ^_^

Update: Well, I asked Thomas about it, and no, he hadn't told me it was a Banksy, because he was told that it was some California (con-)artist. So some Cali guy is painting up Banksy reprints and selling them as his own. That rat bastard.

Sick and Tired...

...of being single? Hmm.

So I spent most of yesterday lying in bed, lying to myself about not being sick. You know when it really sucks to be sick? When you're single.

I hadn't even thought about the fact that I've been single since I came back from Japan until a friend brought it up a couple weeks ago (thanks, "friend"!). Is it so bad being single? Think of all the advantages!

No one crowds me in the tiny kitchen when I'm making my breakfast. No one breaks the silence with conversation so I always get to eat in peace and quiet.

I never come home from work and have to hear stories about someone's day.

I save a TON of money by not going out to movies or dinner.

Since I always cook for one, I get to prepare my meals just how I want! And then eat my meal by myself in front of the TV. I don't have to fight over the remote, since nobody else is here.

Sure, some social events are awkward when it's all couples and then me. All of my friends are couples...

And sure, I had no one to bring me soup, or damp towels for my forehead, or to listen to my whining about being sick. And there's no one to share stories with or cuddle with or unwind with.

I can picture my singles ad now...
(source)	Chubby middle-aged computer nerd seeks young hottie. Wealthy, bi-curious, nymphomania a plus. Sense of humor also probably a good idea.

But I'm single, and that's a fact.

It's not as if there are a ton of young hotties that really dig middle-aged chubby computer nerds. And it's not like I can go "Wait! That's not the whole of me! I'm really actually awesome!"

And I work and go to school in the computer department and rarely meet new people anyway.

So, I'm single.

But remember the advantages!

At the end of the day, when I go to bed, it's already half-made. One side always stays tucked in. And there's plenty of room, since I'm always in bed alone.

It's GREAT!

I love it!

It's great.

It's...

Barney's Video Resume

In the recent How I Met Your Mother, Barney shows off his video resume. The full music segment is available online. (Poor sound quality warning; go to the site for better quality)
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Neil Patrick Harris is so awesome.

ALSO available is a collection of Barney clips set to the same song. (Commercials warning)
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Tuesdays Broken Thermometer News

So, I'm feeling a little woogy today. Not too terrible; I haven't thrown up or anything.

So I decided to take my temperature. I bought a thermometer a few weeks ago when I was way sick, but didn't really use it.

The thermometer says my temp is over 100. That doesn't sound right at all. I'm woogy, not sick. If I were over 100, I wouldn't be out of bed.

So that was, you know, a wise purchase and all. :-(

Update:
OK, I took a picture of the thermometer in action. It says my temp is 102.3F, so, that's wrong. I'd be dead.



Also, why is it bendy? WHERE do they think I'm going to stick this thing that it would benefit from being soft and pliable?

Tuesday's Hidden Videos News

OK, so clearly all the videos are gone/hidden on my blog (at least, all the recent ones).

Instead, you'll see these links:Show/Hide
Wow, you'll just click anything, won't you.

I did this for a couple of reasons, but mostly because the page loads much faster without all the videos. They're still there, and you can still watch them, you just don't have to wait for every old thumbnail to load from a dozen different sites. Also, the page isn't as long this way, so you can scroll down quicker.

And those autoplaying flash files on my old pages can be hidden so they don't autoplay!

Anyway, like I said, lots of reasons. Just a way of making my little part of the world a bit better every day.

Groundhog Day!

Today is February 2^nd, otherwise known as Groundhog Day. This year, the groundhog saw his shadow, predicting another six weeks of winter.

Interestingly, it is the second day of the second month. New Years is the first day of the first month, Cinco de Mayo is the fifth day of the fifth month... you see where I'm going with this? ^_^ In Japan, there were official and unofficial holidays for most of these. So this year, on the xth day of the xth month, I'll be posting something special.

Superbowl Aftermath

What were the final scores? Who cares! How were the commercials?!

My favorites:

CareerBuilder.com: Tips
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You get to see a glasses-wearing, coffee-drinking koala punched in the face. Oh dear!

Cars.com: David Abernathy
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Am I watching a commercial or The Royal Tenenbaums?

Pepsi: Pepsuber
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Purely for the presence of Richard Dean Anderson. This is actually the 2^nd of three SNL clips. 1 2 3

And finally, my personal favorite:

Hulu: Alec in Huluwood
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Alec Baldwin!

Yahtzee Hates Joss Whedon?

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Watched Dr. Horrible again last night, and this morning I found this video. I'm just flabbergasted. I don't think Yahtzee has seen Dr. Horrible, and if he did watch it, he'd hate it now because he's invested in that opinion.

(Yahtzee is a donut because he was described as 'cynical and twisted', except it sounded like 'cinnamon twist'. Go to the video for more info)

Moustachio

Ah, makes me miss my mustache.
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Bo Henry, art director, Coraline.

I don't have to explain Coraline, right? Directed by Henry Selick, written by Neil Gaiman, right? You all read Neil's blog? Good.

Six days left...

The Java Mystery

Recently, my computer has been calling out to IP address 64.244.174.206. What is 64.244.174.206? I have NO IDEA.

Even better, it's a Java.exe process that is doing the calling. But, that can be ANY Java program. What could it be? I didn't want to give Java free reign to run over my firewall, but maybe this was an important process?

In comes Process Explorer, a SysInternals program now available through MicroSoft (which has devoured SysInternals). This will tell me what the parent program is.

So who is the culprit? None other than Digsby, my all-in-one chat app. But what the hell is Digsby doing calling Java programs to call seemingly random IPs?

It turns out, they are experimenting with distributed computing (like the Folding@Home project). Except they forgot the part where they ask your permission first.

The official solution is simple! Just open Digsby, go to Help -> Support Digsby, find the Help Digsby conduct research option and click disable. Intuitive!

Yeah, the average user is going to figure that out. There's nothing in the TOS or FAQ about it. They are just secretly using your computer cycles for their own gain, without asking you if you're cool with that.

Dirty pool, Digsby.

This Is How I'm Dumb

I had a brilliant idea: I'll get my laundry going and then take a shower. That way, the time I spend waiting for my laundry to finish and the time I spend in the shower will overlap. I'm a genius!

So I got my laundry going, and I'm about to get in the shower.

Guess where all my towels are?

Bye-Bye Moosebutter *UPDATED*

I've been meaning to post about this since mid-December, but then it was too late, but then again recent developments have brought it up again.

It's about the John Williams video...

Originally, I was going to write about how it WASN'T sung by Corey Vidal.

Corey is lip-synching to the 2002 studio recording of moosebutter. It was recorded at June Audio, Provo, UT. Corey filmed his video in his kitchen.

He was lip-synching? Well, that explains why he's not wearing headphones. Still, very convincing. I found out that it wasn't his voice when he updated the description of the video (so it wasn't like he was trying to be sneaky about it). This was around the time it was nominated for a People's Choice award.

Anyway, never got around to posting that, and the PCA have come and gone (Barack Roll won), and NOW (Jan 18th) the videos have been removed from YouTube by Warner Music Group. The entire ApprenticeA account (Corey) has been suspended.

Corey Vidal and our Star Wars videos were taken down by Warner Music Company, or Warner Brothers, or Warner INC ... all we know is, Warner has gotten picky about 'their' content on youtube, and even though there are a dozen other videos on youtube with our Star Wars song, and hundreds of videos that illegally rip footage from Harry Potter DVDs, and fake Batman trailers and etc etc etc Warner has been kind enough to target our stuff.

This means one thing: we've finally hit the big time! Maybe.

Wait, WHAT? How is it POSSIBLY a copyright violation? Parody is explicitly allowed as fair-use (one of the very few things that are actually spelled out).

My bullshitometer just exploded.

UPDATE: ApprenticeA is Back.

BIGGER UPDATE:
OK, so after this posted (which means most people won't come back and read this, but whatever), Cory posted a new video. The two important things from the video are:

1. There is a pretty high quality (better than YouTube) upload of the video over on Cory's Facebook page.
2. There is an important article on what's been happening, over at cnet. Go there and Digg it.

From the article (emphasis mine):

On YouTube, Vidal posted a humorous video tribute to John Williams, the man who scored the soundtracks for such blockbuster films as Indiana Jones, and Star Wars. In his clip he included some of Williams' music. By now, everybody knows that YouTube removes videos that violate copyright law. What's different about Vidal's work getting pulled is that when he posted it in October, he was permitted to use Warner's music.

Until last month, YouTube had an agreement with Warner Music--one of the four largest recording companies--that allowed video creators to include the label's content in their clips. Last month, talks to renew the deal broke down and that means YouTube and its users no longer have access to Warner's library. For this reason, the case is much different than YouTube's high-profile fight with Viacom or run-of-the-mill piracy that once flourished on the site.

I did not know that.

I Accidentally The Whole Template

I just wanted to update my picture
oh god how did this get here
I am not good with computer

Her Morning Elegance

Some stop-motion for Thomas.
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To NSFW Or Not

I saw an amusing video about how to become a porn star. Lots of, er, "tongue" in "cheek" humor.

But definitely not safe for work. Or minors. So, do I post it or not?

Hmm....

(link removed)

Yeah, was originally going to post it, decided against it at the last minute (less than 12 hours before it will post).

Sorry fellas.

Wednesday's Foreign Commercial

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I know kung fu.

Wait, don't I already have a post for today? Yeah, forward posting has a lot of drawbacks. A major one being: I was forward posting everything, and some things (like random videos) aren't really .... substantial. Almost content-free posts.

So they'll be posted roughly same-day, but after the daily post (so, 9am or later). So yes, this is still forward posted from even earlier today. ^_^

So.

(That being said, there are still several weeks of posts in the queue, so some days will just be a random video. Sorry.)

Bad Sci-Fi Warning

So, one of my classmates recently alerted me to a sale going on. Apparently, there is this robot toy. It's a scaled down version of a robot developed for the military by a defense department subcontractor. There's just one, and it is heavily discounted for some reason.

WHERE have I heard this premise before? Oh, right, EVERY HORROR-SCI-FI MOVIE EVER.

Update: Apparently, the robot is named SENTINEL. Duh duh DUH!

Opera of Khan *UPDATED*

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WHEN did this Robot Chicken episode air? How could I have possibly missed it?

Update: Original sauce. Hmm, seemed bigger on the site.

Action-Star Obama

(Well, more action-FIGURE Obama.)
Via

The originating site has taken the page down, but the dolls action figures can still be found here. On sale for 8,072円* right now, but the sword and gun accessories are not included. It's a damn shame. You know, now that I think about it, I would totally watch an Obama Action-Movie. It would be so random!

*Holy crap, the dollar has dropped that much against the yen?!

Tuesday's Groggy News

I was woken up by the sound of someone banging on my door. It was 10am.

I went to the door, and no one was there. I poked my head out and saw a UPS guy downstairs knocking on another door. A UPS guy? On Sunday? Odd.

"Hello?" I called, wondering if I had a package, and if so from whom? I hadn't ordered anything that I could remember.

He came up and told me the package was for my neighbor (ah, well) and asked me if I could take it until she got home from work. (Work? On Sunday? Odd)

I said sure, since hey, it's my day off and I'm going to be here all day anyway. Signed for it and he left.

Around this time I realized that it was TUESDAY*, and I have to leave for work myself.

Doh.

*Until last night, I had been up since Saturday. So...

Tuesday's Feeling Old News

There are people who were born in 1990 that are 18 now.

Japanese Beat Doll Revisited

OK, we all remember the Japanese Beat Doll video, yes? Click here to see it




Well, now there's TOFU
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Good News, Everone!

From Digg.

I almost never post Digg stuff here. If you want to see Digg stuff, go read Digg.

....But this was excellent. ^_^

Phoenix Watches a Lot of Commercials

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I like the idea, but am I the only one that thinks it's a bit long? And too many short clips of songs. I'd prefer fewer songs with more to them.

This is what happens when multinational corporations undertake expensive productions without checking with me first.

(Also, spoiler in thumbnail AGAIN. I really wish people would take the time to set their thumbnail properly [eg, earlier in the video])

How I Spent My Morning

I woke up too early this morning, and there was nothing on TV yet. So I started playing a computer game (S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - Shadow of Chernobyl).

And in the game, I fell down a hole.

Now, looking back, I think the fall was supposed to kill my character, but for some reason it didn't. But I was stuck at the bottom of the pit.

Now, this sucked, because I hadn't saved for like an hour. So I was going to have to replay that whole hour unless I figured out a way to get out of the hole. With MOST games, there is a noclip code that will allow you to walk through walls. I looked and looked online, no noclip code for this game.

Then I found a cheat that would put me 200 ft up in the air (which would get me out of the hole), but it didn't work for my version.

Bear in mind, this is the result of lots and LOTS of web searching and scouring. But no luck. I spent about TWO HOURS trying to get out of the hole. It would have been MUCH FASTER to go back and play from that last save.

Which I will still have to do because I'm STILL STUCK IN THE HOLE!

So that's how my morning went.

Cadbury Commercials

I saw this video just now:
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It's by the same people that did the Trucks** video and the Gorilla playing the drums* video; all three are commercials for Cadbury.

*Have you seen this remix?

**UPDATE: Also a "remix" (more of just a music swap) for Trucks***.

Both of these updated commercials have played officially on TV.

***UPDATE III: There's also apparently one with Final Countdown. Is there anyone who can hear that song now and not think of Arrested Development? There's even a stair-car!

I don't know why, but commercials with music just really do it for me. Like mini music videos. (Also, it helps that the Cadbury commercials are so completely random).

The people that made this have an interesting Myst-like site. What is the mystery word? How far can you jump? Why is Phoenix so very easily amused? The world may never know.

UPDATE II: Saw the following comment on the eyebrows commercial:

12. Troy - January 24, 2009 9:41 PM
Where the f*** did she get a baloon?! SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT HERE.

Hard Drive Rules

Rule#1 - Always back up!
Rule#2 - Always back up! (This is a backup to Rule#1)

Goodbye, Google Services

Google is closing down some of its many services, including Google Video and Google Notebook.

Now, I use Notebook ALL THE TIME, so I panicked until I read that the service itself will continue to function (just development is shutting down).

Google Video is another disappointing closure, as it has been host to a number of longer-running documentaries and shows. Will YouTube be an adequate replacement? We'll see.

No word on another Google Service that I use DAILY, GrandCentral.

Amanda Has Not Seen Star Wars

Here's what she THINKS happens.
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Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Another Awesome Commercial

Now, you guys already know what kind of commercials I like... ^_^
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Tuesday's West Wing Post

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(OK, yes, no actual post. Also, spoiler in preview.)

I Miss Ze

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Bacon

One of my vegetarian friends sent me this video:
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Foreward Posting

So, perhaps everyone has spotted it by now, but I'm not necessarily posting the same day I write something. That is, I'm writing this on Wednesday. Is today Wednesday? No, it is not. (Well, YES, it is right now when I'm writing this, but it won't be by the time you read it)

When I have time to post, I used to post a bunch of stuff at once, and then nothing. The problem is that when there's TOO MUCH stuff, nobody reads it, and when there's nothing, there's nothing to read.

So, now I spread my posts out. My post on the 10th (about flight of the bumblebee) was written on the 3rd, I think. Originally I had planned for a bunch of other posts in between that were more important, but I didn't have time to write them up properly, so nothing got written. :-/

Anyway, it occurred to me today just how creepy it would be if something (science forbid) ever happened to me. For example, my birthday meme post has been written, but is scheduled for my birthday (in October). Now, if I *gulp* were to .... you know what? Let's just say I became a Luddite. So, no one would be expecting anything new on my blog, but every once in a long while... there would be a new post. Because I wrote it before .... becoming a Luddite.

So, there's that. Just... FYI and all.

Soy la _soy_.

I am soymilk. (Actually, yes, wouldn't it be estoy de leche de soja?) Anyway, this post is about soymilk.

Soymilk can replace regular milk in a lot of recipes.

Hamburger Helper is not one of them.

That is all.

You Shouldn't Use Dropbox

I signed up to the beta for Dropbox (a service that backs up and syncs all of your files in a certain folder over the Internet). Since I work on multiple computers, I thought it would be a handy tool.

And it WOULD BE, if the developers weren't so clueless.

For example, during installation in Windows, it will close ALL of your Explorer processes. Without warning.

I mean, I can understand that it has to close them to add itself. I get that. But the lack of warning is dumb (I lost a couple of deeply-nested folders this way).

But that's not the big one. The big one is when you set your Dropbox directory.

No matter what you specify, it will APPEND "My Dropbox" in Windows. Supposedly, this is to protect people from installing into their root directories (people are dumb), BUT it also won't allow you to install to ANY root directories, even on OTHER DRIVES/PARTITIONS. Which is to say, you can't even have F:/My Dropbox (also, appending a subdirectory with a *SPACE IN IT*?). So the best you could do would be F:/Dropbox/My Dropbox (which is a lot of header for the path of EVERY FILE in your Dropbox). It's dumb.

But even THAT'S not the REAL BIG ONE. The REAL big one is that it will append "Dropbox" in Linux! *NOT* "My Dropbox". So, if you dual-boot on your machine, you can't point both Dropbox directories to the same location! You're forced to sync EVERYTHING TWICE, in two different places, taking up twice the disk space. WAY DUMB.

The current official "solution" is to use an OLD version of Dropbox that isn't as retarded. Seriously, that's what they tell you to do. They've known about this problem since version 0.6.394 and now we're at 0.6.402 and it's STILL NOT FIXED (months have passed).

The Dropboxers just seem to have NO CLUE, which does not bode well for the tool. At this point in time, I have to recommend that people AVOID DROPBOX LIKE THE PLAGUE. It's definitely not ready for prime-time, and it is getting WORSE. I think I might have to close my account there, because it's getting to the point where I don't feel I can trust the people behind it (if they're THAT clueless).

It's enough to make me feel all RANTY RANT!

Your Fair Share

So, interesting bit of information (if it's true), there is about $140 trillion worth of combined assets on planet Earth. That's EVERYTHING.

Now, there are almost 6.8 Billion people on this planet (holy crap, remember when we hit 6 billion? Sure doesn't seem that long ago).

Anyway, $140 trillion divided by 6.8 billion people is roughly $20,000.00 per person.

So, if you have more* than $20k worth of assets (a car, a house, savings, belongings**, etc), then from a certain perspective, you technically have more than your "fair"*** share.

In case you were wondering. ^_^

*If you have less, of course, then you're not working hard enough.

**Hmm.... "belongings" or "possessions"? Different words, different connotations...

***Such an arbitrary value. To me, that's the opposite of fair.

Linux is Awesome

The above is true, and has been for a while, but I am always learning NEW WAYS in which Linux is Awesome.

For example, I'm currently installing Linux on my work computer. That is, THIS computer. I'm writing this in Linux WHILE LINUX IS INSTALLING.

Frankly, that's pretty fucking awesome.

Wednesday's Horrible News

Yes, yes, Joss Whedon said (again) recently that Dr. Horrible will be back. That's not the news.

The news is about the DVD.

It's only like $10*, and Commentary! The Musical! is worth the price of admission alone. I want MP3s of these songs (I've listened to the entire thing twice three times** already; they're just so random!). Lots of my kind of humor, and actual commentary stuff (like, did you know that Nathan Fillion was in Halo 3? Or how much the Horrible crew played Ninja Ropes Extreme? Nathan has the high score [119.7 yards])

There's also a separate ACTUAL commentary which is also interesting, plus making-of shorts and fan-made Evil League of Evil application videos.

It's been out on DVD for almost a month, so if you don't have your own copy by now, you're just an awful person. :-/ Why do you hate Joss? Is it because he always kills your favorite characters? Yeah, I hate that too, actually.***

*The price of a solo! (You'll get that joke later.)

**Dammit! Listened to it again accidentally while writing this post. :-/

***I am a leaf on the wind.

Tuesday's Missing Mug News

Hey Phoenix, why aren't you enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee?

I don't have my coffee mug.

Where's your coffee mug?

I don't know; it disappeared.

Did someone take it?

I don't know! Maybe? I looked everywhere.

Who would take a mug with your name on it from the community kitchen?

I DON'T KNOW!

I bet you're longing for some coffee though, am I right?

YES!

Thieves are awesome!

Tuesday's Changing-Weather News

Hey, Phoenix, enjoying the sunny weather?

GAAAAHHH!!

What's wrong? Does your hand hurt?

YAAAAAR!

Is it because your hand was broken and now it hurts whenever the weather changes even if it's a change for the better?

GAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

This beautiful day must be like TORTURE for you!

JUST KILL ME NOW!

Sorry, first law of robotics! ^_^

Tuesday's Rockin' News

Hey Phoenix, I heard that your neighbors have Rock Band.

They sure do!

But, can you hear it through your apartment walls?

You bet I can!

Even at night when you're trying to sleep?

Mostly then, yes!

Sweet!

SUPER sweet!

Thundercats Live-Action Movie Trailer

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Yes, it's fan-made. But there are a brazillion fan-made trailers out there and they all suck, which is why this one is unique.

The Lyrics to Flight of the Bumblebee

Many many moons ago, I watched this video called Paramount Comedy Theater (Vol. 1: Well-Developed). It was an old VHS tape that my friend Sean had.

In addition to introducing me to the blue side of Danny Tanner, there was a guy who came out and sang Flight of the Bumblebee.

Bruce Mahler was that guy.

It was great. Actually, his whole act was great, but Bumblebee stood out.

Every once in a while, I hop on the ol' Internets and search for the complete lyrics, or an MP3 or video of his performance. Seriously, that song has stuck in my head lo these many years.

The Paramount Comedy Theater never came to DVD, and there's no place to buy the old VHS version. And it's not on the Internet ANYWHERE.

If anyone ever finds it, please let me know.

Sung

Classes have started again, joy.

Yesterday, I met someone new. He introduced himself as Sung (pronounced sahng), and spelled his name out. One of my classmates said "Oh, like the past tense of sing."

To which Sung, the non-native-English-speaker, replied "Past participle."

Boy howdy am I easily amused. ^_^

Claiborne Pell

It was with a heavy heart that I read about the passing of Claiborne Pell, who died last Thursday after a lengthy battle against Parkinson's disease, at age 90.

A Rhode Island Senator, Pell was the father of the Pell Grant, and for this I will always be grateful. It was the Pell Grant that allowed me to go to college, get a degree, and travel outside the U.S.

Thank you, Senator Pell, for broadening my (and many others') horizons.

All The Who-ha

Nobody probably cares but me, but for anyone watching the New-Who, the 11th doctor has finally been revealed as: Matt Smith

I don't know about you, but when I saw him my first reaction was "What is he, twelve?" A bit young looking for a 900+ year old man, but we'll have to wait (until 2010) and see.

[Although, I guess he has worked with Pipes before, so he was only ever two steps from DT anyway]

Post #567, the Glorious Return

Phoenix is back in Cheney! Hey, welcome back! How do you feel?

COLD!

Thanks, Phoenix!

Snowmageddon

Just got this e-mail from my boss:

Fellas,

Due to the absurd amount of snow (National Guard is in Cheney helping to get rid of it), campus will be closed on Monday 1/5. We're tentatively opening on Tuesday 1/6. Be sure to call the snow line at 359-SNOW or check out the emergency Web site @ http://www.ewu.edu/x4801.xml on Monday to see if we'll be opening Tuesday. Stay safe and see you next week sometime.

J

It's no secret that the Spokane area has gone snow-crazy. Saw this on the national news:

Spokane finished December with 61.5 inches of snow, far eclipsing the previous one-month record of 56.9 inches set in January 1950. Snowfall records in the area have been kept since 1893.

We've gotten more snow in one month than we usually get ALL WINTER.

And finally, if you haven't seen them already, Tycho* has had a couple of great snow-related posts as of late:

First:

Spokane has many faults, chief among them that it is the source of all human woe - a cleft in the wounded crust of the world that grants Satan and his twisted lieutenants easy access. But one thing you do learn there, other than the ability to create a tourniquet from your own intestines, is now to drive properly in the snow. We're snowed in here in Seattle, and not because you couldn't get around out there, but because driving in the snow with Seattle natives is like NASCAR in slow motion. It's not worth exposing yourself to those people, so you stay home. Even the sidewalks aren't safe.

Second:

What I said about the residents of Seattle vis a vis snow was true, but shortly after I said it we received the kind of snow that one might be genuinely skeered of, especially in a town that owns no snowplows. We drove to Spokane after our flight and all others were cancelled, and things are an order of magnitude worse here. The snow is so high that there's no other interpretation: some god (or fraternity of gods) is trying to erase this wicked land.

Happy Everwinter**, everyone.

*Tycho is great, and I am jealous of his way with words.

**Tycho again.

Happy New Year!

From The Doozies
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In an unrelated note, YouTube lets you choose the size of the embedded video now. Here is the interface:

If you're not colorblind, you won't see (haha!) the problem. Unfortunately, I AM colorblind, and all these look pretty much the same. I get it YouTube, you hate the colorblind. I get it. All the time. :'-(